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Parents comparing me to others

Community Member
I'm new here and glad I found this forum. My parents, (I come from a typical Asian household hahah) they compare me to other people my age or older. They've always been doing that my whole life and idk never talked to anyone about it because I can't seem to say it out loud. I feel so ashamed of being myself, they rarely acknowledge my achievements only my failures and mishaps - it's gotten to the point that I'm never satisfied about my achievements and I know in the back of my head that it's wrong. I am currently living with them, can't move out. I'm 18 and just entered uni. I've never seen a therapist because my parents don't approve of them and my friends aren't the type to talk with me about this problem. I've asked God many times to help relieve me of this pain but I guess they have also turned their backs on me... I feel so lonely. Really, I do. I don't even know what to ask on this forum other than, has anyone gone through this before and how did they overcome this? Ofc there isn't a fixed solution in life, but I feel like talking to others in similar situations may help me feel less lonelier I guess. Thank you, this is my first time doing something like this so it feels a bit weird
2 Replies 2

Hi Angela2021,

Welcome to the forum, it so great that you have found us and decided to connect with us. Being compared to others by parents can be so difficult. Parents generally want the best for us and sometimes they think the best way to do this by comparing with others and showing us what we can be doing better. Most of the time this has a negative affect as they are not able to recognise what we can do well and what our individual talents are, at least not to our face. Living with them while you are dealing with this can create extra pressure and it is understandable that you would want to seek others you can connect with and discuss your feelings and thoughts with. Indeed, it must be painful and there are supports for you to receive that can help alleviate your pain. Have you gone to your GP and requested to a mental health care plan? They can refer to you to a psychologist/counsellor and as you are an adult permission from your parents does not need to be granted before you can attend sessions.

If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Helpline. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under.  

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

You can also find information on support groups is available on the Black Dog Institute site here - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/support-groups/ It might be helpful to join a support group to try and build a social network in your area.​​​ 

You are not alone and we are all here to support you.

Community Member

Hi Angela2021,

I'm new here too and I'm only 14. I know how you feel, being judged by everyone and feeling trapped alone because you don't have anyone else to talk to. These forums are something I have found that helps. People on here have the choice to help and talk to you purely because they want to and want you to feel happy and safe. Feel free to talk to me or anyone on here really, they're all really supportive and are great if you need a friend.

A friend if you like,