My daughter is struggling

[Sarah_Macc]

Hello my 13 yr old daughter attempted suicide a month ago.
she has experienced quite a lot of friendships go bad. I think she might be highly sensitive inside but she can not come across that way to others. Her confidence has been shattered.

best friends turned bad and isolating her at school, spreading nasty rumours, deleting her from group chats etc. nothing so that they get in trouble, but consistent passive aggressive behaviour.

i very very close to her and she shares a lot with me, last month a video she made was shared to her school in it she was saying she hated some girls at school and she used their names. It wasn’t a very nice video but she understandably is very upset at their group rejection and lashed out without thinking. The video was shared privately but someone sent it to one of the girls she named, they sent it to the school who sent it to me.

I was cross with her well actually more disappointed because she had given the bullies ammunition. Later that evening she attempted suicide.

how do I support her - friendship groups are often volatile at this age and I’m so worried she will grow up with mistrust issues.

we are a strong family unit so there is support here, but my husband and I are devastated and worried. I am watching her like a hawk. Any advice on what I can do. Her psychiatrist just diagnosed her with depression and ptsd. We don’t know whether medication is the right path.

thanks for your time

sarah

[Sophie_M]

Hi Sarah,

We’re so sorry to hear about this, it must be an incredibly difficult time for both of you. We’re glad you could share here, as it’s something others on the forums may have some experience with. The love and concern you have for your daughter is clear, and we hope you can be kind to yourself while going through this really hard time.

This is an incredibly difficult time, so we’re reaching out to you privately. Please know that we are here for the moments you need help, on 1300 22 4636, or via webchat here.

You could check in with Parentline, who have a number for each state listed here, and if possible, encourage her to contact Kids Helpline whenever she needs, on 1800 55 1800 or via webchat here.

While you’re waiting for some replies on this thread, here’s some other pages we thought you might like to look at:

• A recent post in which a few parents shared their struggles supporting teenagers with complex mental health challenges: Depressed daughter *Trigger warning - self harm*
• A post from a health professional: They won’t get help: supporting your teenager through a mental health crisis
• The Beyond Blue info page on looking after yourself while supporting someone through a difficult time

We also wanted to recommend the Beyond Blue podcast episode, Supporting a Loved One. It might be helpful to hear another parent tell their story, in their own voice and their own words.

We really hope the kind words and understanding of the lovely community members who will likely join us on this thread soon is comforting to you. Please feel free to keep sharing if you feel comfortable. 

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Petal22]

Hi Sarah Macc,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im so sorry this is happening to your family and especially to your beautiful daughter it’s just so sad….

Just be there for your daughter I understand that you were cross and disappointed with her but I don’t think she would have ever thought the video would go that far…. and she’s just a child……. It’s so sad also that her friends have done what they have done she must feel so unwanted by their behaviour…..

Is it possible for anyone to speak to the other friends parents to see if they could help their children to forgive your child and move forward with that….

Please let your child know how loved they are and that every one makes mistakes…… and it’s ok……

Do you know if there are any anti bullying classes in your area? This teaches children resilience…..

I understand your self and your husband would be devastated…. I think it would be a good idea for your child to see a psychologist so they can help with some strategies…..

I went through a mental illness I was put on a antidepressants for my anxiety so I could manage it better and I did a 8 week therapy…… I’ve now recovered… with my illness I had horrible dark distressing intrusive thoughts that really scared me…. I’m not sure if your child is experiencing these…. they usually accompany depression and anxiety…… if your child is having these she may be unsure how to navigate them….

Im here to chat anytime

[Learn to Fly]

Hi Sarah

A very warm welcome to you and thank you kindly for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry to hear your daughter and your family have gone through so much.

I hope you don’t mind me asking: have you tried talking to the school? Bullying is always taken very seriously and in this situation, especially because your beautiful daughter had attempted a suicide, I think the school should get involved. I believe there should be four sides involved to discuss, explain, work on solutions and their implementation: the school’s rep (your daughter’s teacher), the school’s counsellor, yourself and/or your husband plus your daughter, and lastly the parents of the bullies as well as the offenders. This process will not be easy but your daughter will still be attending this school and she will continue to be exposed to kids who had hurt her and whatever else that comes with them. She is in most vulnerable state atm so this can be extra difficult for her to go through.
Please, let us know your thoughts on this.

Thank you again for sharing.