My 14yr old best friend is getting worse

[footy1679]

Hi, this is my first time posting and I’m not sure how to explain, there’s a girl in my soccer team who is 14 and came to me at the start of the season which was roughly Start of March. She has been hurting herself and she’s getting worse. I told her Aunty and that’s when I realised how bad her home life is because her dad, mum and step mum just told her she was doing it for attention and that she’s ungrateful.

I’m 17 and when I was her age I was doing similar things (self-harming). I don’t know if I’m even helping her or doing the right thing by her as all I’m doing is just listening. I’m not sure what to do because I am kind of the only support she has. Talking to her about why I used to hurt myself has brought some stuff up, such as my family and school issues and I’m now at that stage of not knowing what to do.

I feel like I’m being dramatic but sometimes I think she is giving up and is suicidal but then I just think I’m overthinking.

Other girls in the soccer team (it’s an open ages team so there are older girls) they only half know what’s going on because the first one everyone found out nothing really changed. I feel like I’m the only one who wants her to get better.

I feel like I should get help too because idk if this is too much just for me because I don’t want to be dramatic.

sorry if this doesn’t completely make sense

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi footy1679,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us.

I don't think you're being dramatic at all. In fact, I'm really glad you're here. I self-harm too so I can see where you're coming from, and I think it's great that you're looking out for both yourself and your friend. Huge kudos to you.

Is there anyway that you could both get some support? It's really sad that her parents aren't supportive - is your friends' aunty supportive? Or is your family supportive?

If either you or your friend is interested and open to getting some help you can try https://headspace.org.au/ or https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/get-help/webchat-counselling/ - That last link has free one on one chats with people where as the first link has the list of headspace centres to get free counselling.

Hope this helps 🙂

[footy1679]

Hey thank you it means a lot and is quite helpful. I’ll definitely look into the links.

My friend does want help and just isn’t sure how to go about it but I think if I took her to a headspace centre it may help. Her family, including her Aunty, kinda just brush her off and I stayed there last weekend and I realise why she struggles so much.

Thank you for your reply, I know I’ll get better soon, I’m just more worried about my friend

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey footy1679,

That's no worries! I hope it helps 🙂

Ah that sounds so hard, I'm really glad that you are there for her - we all need supportive people in our lives. From what I understand about headspace, it's totally confidential and her parents don't have to know - unless your friend is at risk of harming herself or harming someone else.