Life of chaos and mess
As this is my first time posting on a forum, I just wanted to address how I have been feeling in the past few months, more so in the recent weeks. I am currently in year 12, who is about to graduate in less than a month, and frankly speaking I am utterly terrified as many young people who have no idea what their future would behold. Due to this, I have been feeling far more depressed and gloomy, hindering my motivation to move forward and complete the HSC.
I should probably mention that I have been suffering from depression, social anxiety and generalized anxiety for most of my life. However my mental health has intensified from last January, as these immediate thoughts of not being good enough and being a failure in life became repetitive and all time consuming. I have spoken to the school counsellor, but she continuously judged me in a very subtle way, saying I was not intelligent enough to understand that I cannot achieve anything without guidance. Besides none of the teachers believe I will go anywhere in life, for the reasons of having a brother with ADHD and autism, and for wallowing in my own self pity. Perhaps they have been somewhat correct in my case of failing.
My primary concerns are with my wellbeing, identity, intelligence and studies. As mentioned earlier, my mental health has been hindering my motivation to move forward and complete the HSC, as well as my performance towards success. This is far too overwhelming and overbearing because many people, especially myself, don't believe I will go far in life due to my lack of intelligence and insufficient amount of serotonin and dopamine in my brain. I have always wanted to go to University to further enhance my potential but people say I am not enough to accomplish this particular goal. It is profoundly exhausting to always feel so desolate and futile with everything.
Please, if there is anyone that could assist in sharing something that is beneficial, then I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you :).
Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing your thoughts and feelings here with our wonderful community. We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling quite low at the moment, and that upon reaching out to your school counsellor for support, you felt judged. It takes a lot of courage to reach out, so we understand that this must have been really disheartening for you. But please know that these forums are a safe space, free of judgement, and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.
If you feel it may be helpful, we'd also encourage you to reach out to our friends at Kids Helpline. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 as well as through webchat: https://kidshelpline.com.au/ You're also always welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you, and offer support, advice and referrals to help you through this difficult time.
Please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it.