Just started Year 12 and I'm struggling to cope

rosa-rose · ‎16-10-2017

I was sort of always a high achiever in previous years of my schooling and I've sort of built a reputation about it. But the truth is I've always struggled with time management. I struggled through my finals exams in Year 11 because of it, and fell into a really really bad state of anxiety where I struggled to eat or do anything... I felt like I failed, and therefore already messed up Year 12 and that I no longer had a future.

Even after the exams were over I stayed in this state of extreme anxiety. I woke up everyday of the holidays terrified about the future and crying over how I've ruined everything or I wasted my opportunity at High School. I couldn't stay calm no matter what I tried, my mind was always jumping to the future or the next thing to worry about. Towards the end of the holidays I feel as though my brain got tired of it all, and suppressed these feelings... so now I just feel really numb and depressed. This has been making it very hard to stay motivated because I can't bring myself to care about things I used to anymore and I feel so disappointed in myself for it.

I dropped mathematics as a subject recently because I struggle with it and felt it was affecting my other subjects. But after looking up how important math is in general in regards to opening up careers, I've been stressing and regretting my decision. I feel so indecisive and I hate it.

Everything is just too hard now. I can't concentrate in class anymore, I'm struggling to get even just simple homework done. I've been getting my exam results back as well and they actually turned out to be alright, but for some reason it only makes me feel more pressured that I probably won't do as well in this final year.

I want to graduate and not let all these years, and all the money my mom spent to send me to school go to waste. I want to finish High School for myself and for my family, but it's so hard and I feel like I'm never going to get better.

I'm just so tired. I hate feeling like this and I hate wanting to run away from my problems all the time. Lately when I struggle in class my immediate thoughts are that I want to just drop out, and I hate it. I've also been sort of overcommitted in extracurricular activities (particularly a ministry camp I just went on, which put me a week behind Year 12 work that I'm struggling to catch up with) and it's really taking it's toll on me. I don't want to give up when I'm so close to finishing but I'm just so so tired.

BballJ · ‎16-10-2017

Hi rosa-rose,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

We see a lot of young people come through the forums who are struggling similar to yourself with the demands of year 12 and struggling to keep up with it all. It sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself as well which is understandable because you only want the best for yourself. Prior to year 11 and the work load had you ever felt the anxiety before? Or was it new for you? Just asking to gauge weather anxiety has affected you for some time or just through schooling in year 11 and 12.

You said you dropped maths however feel it was a mistake due to the career paths it opens up, do you have any idea about what careers path's you are interested in and seeing if maths is apart of them or do you want a wide variety of choices?

I know there is a lot of pressure to do well and graduate so I would recommend maybe speaking to a counsellor, possibly one at school or if you can maybe speak to your doctor about a referral to one. I recommend this because speaking to a trained mental health professional about these feelings may allow them to help you understand why you feel this way and help you overcome it.

Please, post back as much as you like, we are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

Jessicatherese94 · ‎19-10-2017

Hi rosa-rose, I remember being in high school and feeling super anxious especially during Year 11. You are not the only one who feels this way. Can I ask if you're just had your Year 12 exams or did you start Year 12 this semester? I agree with Jay about speaking to a psychologist about how you're feeling, they might be able to give you some strategies on coping. It seems like a lot of your focus is on the future, have you tried any meditation? There are plenty of meditation videos on Youtube and they really help make me feel centred and remind me to stay in the present, it may work for you. Just to give you some perspective, even if you struggle with the HSC you can still get to where you want to be. One of my friend's who almost failed the HSC is now 23 and about to start a degree in medicine. Most people change degrees 5 times in their life. I'm currently on my second degree! Life is really surprising and exciting and we never really know what's going to happen, and that's the beauty and excitement of it. You seem very determined and strong and I'm sure you will do well with your marks, but I want you to know that even if things don't work out there are so, so many pathways you can take to get to where you want to be.

rosa-rose · ‎06-02-2021

Hello, it's been a few years since I posted this.

But I wanted to update that I'm in a much better place than I was a few years ago. I'm now getting the help I need and I'm on medication for my anxiety/depression that's helped me feel calmer and in control, compared to how I've ever been my whole life.

I know a lot more about where I want to go in life. It took a few gap years and life experience, but it just goes to show that sometimes these things take time.

To anyone who was my age and read this post because they too felt worried during the HSC, just know it isn't forever. The HSC passes. Afterwards you will feel more free. And you move on. And you figure things out slowly a step at a time.

I wish you all the best, and thank you to everyone who responded to this at a time I really needed help. Thank you.

Guest_4643 · ‎07-02-2021

Hey rosa-rose, welcome back. I'm glad to hear you've been getting better, I'm proud of you.

I don't know about year 11, 12, Uni/TAFE, etc. since I left in year 10 (2015 for me) because of bullying, becoming physically ill everyday, etc. But I'm proud of you for finishing and getting the treatment you want and deserve, good effort.

I'm always here if you need me.

rosa-rose · ‎05-08-2021

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your message.

I'm sorry you had to leave because of bullying... but I'm proud of you too being here.

Thank you for wishing me well, and I'm here for you too if you need me.

quirkywords · ‎05-08-2021

Rosa-rose

How lovely it was to get an update over 4 years that will give hope to many reading your post who are in the position you were.

I failed every exam in year 11 and 12 except the final one. I was very stressed at the time

You are right that years pass and you can think more clearly

thank again for the update