Im depressed, no moitvation, have no idea how to get back up from this down fall - please help

[ND27]

So a few weeks ago i started getting really depressed. Im on medication - i think it made things worse because my anxiety feels worse and my depression is worse. I lost all my motivation and it doesn't matter how much i try to do small goals, it doesn't make me feel better or want to improve my situation. I have no idea how to make it better. I think i became more depressed because i had been trying multiple things to become happier. There has been a lot of things thats happened in my life that has made me negative. So was trying to make life better. I have tried hobbies., getting out of my comfort zone, putting effort in everything i do, exercising, therapy, being more social. Just a load of different things to increase my life. Unfortunately everything ive tried has not worked. I am reading a book though on the happiness trap because i feel i am trying to push happiness. I guess im just worried - will i ever be happy and be able to move forward with my life. I just feel like im going in circles and im not getting any better. im just getting more and more frustrated as im seeing the same results. Im trying to be more satisfied in life and find joy in the little things but everything just makes me so unhappy. where i am in life. what im doing. it just sucks. I am (working on my goals to be in a career i love while working to get money for it)

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi ND27,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

What I'm going to say is a little bit ironic but I'm going to say it anyway haha

It sounds like you're going through a bit of a tough time here and that you're really pushing and pushing to feel better. There's a quote that says 'Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you'. I like it because it reminds me that when we push and push for happiness it can just seem further and further away.

I am guilty because I have done the exact same thing; I've read so many self-help books, online programs, therapy - you name it. I get it, I really do. It's like you want to feel 'normal' whatever that is and manage depression. But depression isn't like that. Some days we've got to push; like going to therapy or going for a walk, but other days I think it's okay to suffer and be in pain. This sucks and it probably sounds like terrible advice - but this is kind of where we get real with what we're feeling. It's okay to feel shitty and have a bad day. Sometimes you've just got to embrace that feeling and 'let it in'. When we push and push it away I feel like it can come back with a vengeance.

Depression is horrible but it's so important that you know what you're feeling will always be temporary. It won't always be like this. There will be highs just like there are lows.

On a side note - you said your goals are to be in a career you love; what does that look like for you?

Hope this helps

[Frankie206]

Hi thanks for sharing I knows it's not a really easy thing. With motivation I go through the same thing there will be days, weeks or maybe months when I won't want to do anything and with just do thing after thing like I'm a robot and then come home go to my room and stare at a wall, you are not alone it's not just you there are people that can and will try to help you get through this and what I try when I'm in this stage is just become bored I just bore myself so much that u would do anything to occupy my mind and then that will stick until I loose motivation again.

I think it's good you are taking meds I also take them and I find that although they scare me because they make me feel stressed about little things they do overall help in getting my brain on track and making my episodes last for shorter periods of time and that is a big help.

i know that this is probably no help but I just wanted to reassure you it's not just you and that if you want to talk I'm here

[ND27]

this helps nothing.