I’ve lost all motivation in my final year of school
Hi, I’m a bit new here so please bear with me in this. I am in my final year of high school and i’ve been suffering with a loss of motivation. i’ve been heavily debating by what to do with it and i decided to try reach out for some help/advice on what to do.
i have tried to reach out a few times for help from the school councillor but i’ve really struggled, few reasons being that i have trouble expressing myself in how i feel, i tend to be someone who tries to rationalise my emotions and my i tend to struggle with recollecting my emotions and experiences. it’s also quite hard for me to open up with my emotions at home with my fears of it being used against me or causing a fight.
what’s one of the worst things for me is the fact that i go to an academic school and a whole lot of people have high expectations of me but i think i’m struggling so much that i’ll disappoint everyone and humiliate myself. i’m no longer good at what i once thought i was good and am have come to realise that i’ve never really been talented but just either extremely lucky in some circumstances, or in other times just motivated by fear or other external factors. i feel so burnt out but guilty for feeling this way, but at the end of the day i still end up doing nothing but doing useless things to avoid my duties. then at the end of the day i either go to sleep crying or intentionally going on my phone to forget this anxiousness then this cycle of guilt and being lazy just persists.
ill be honest i don’t really know what i wanted from saying this, but i guess i just wanted to let out how i feel in a way that would be easier for me than physically consulting someone without feeling as embarrassed or like a fool/attention seeker as i would if i expressed this out loud to someone. would there be a way for me to cope with these feelings? what should i do? i feel like i’m struggling to validate how i’m truly feeling because i feel like im not actually struggling with motivation but intentionally being lazy just to feel like some sort of a victim.
i apologise if this is really hard to understand and just feels like a rant. it’s my first time on this site so i’m not too sure if i’ve done this right or whether this is something i’m allowed to post and please feel free to give me any opinions (even if it’s blunt) or judgement for anything i’ve said.
One benefit of this forum is precisely what you observe - we are the quintessential 'strangers on a bus', where your story has no dependencies or repercussions.
Life requires balance, and the rigours of academia can simply be offset by seeking the inner 'lazy' at times - allowing yourself that indulgence without the guilt makes it 'quality' time.
Not so sure about the efficacy of 'burning' time through distraction, though - perhaps some inner reflection and solitude might prove more therapeutic?
Hey! Im also new. Made this account to reply to your post since I feel I could help.
Im in a similar pickle as you. Also a Year 12 who wants to do well this year, but is not as motivated as i wish. but I acknowledge I dont understand you completely. Yet, I know your feelings and situation is validated.
You can try out what I do if you and your counsellor are fine with it. I also have trouble expressing and recalling what I want to say in person, so I like to have conversations with my school counsellor by email. That way, you can tell exactly what you want to say, you can edit it over days where you can add or delete stuff. Make sure the words your conveying is accurate. It also means neither has to respond immediately and think about what to say. Well done for giving it a try coming in person though.
Seeking support and wanting to be heard is completely different to being an attention seeker. I mean, it is asking for attention, but doing it for this reason and stuff, is not bad. Try not to be afraid. I have this mentality that id like to share, but you dont have to agree with it or anything. I like to think that if people decide to judge before they understand me, or judge me harshly, I think that that's their opinion, their fault, their choice. Respect their right to hold their opinion and move on. People's judgements is not a reason to limit what you want to do. We live in a judgemental society after all. Though I admit this mentality may make people like you less.
Id like to remind that crying is healthy, its better than suppressing it where it destroys you inside. so dont feel bad about crying.
Hope I can help. Good luck. Remember that a bad day doesnt mean a bad life 🙂