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I'm unfulfilled in life

Trish2
Community Member

Hi everyone!

It's been a long time since I last posted on here but I think I've been feeling particularly lonely in an area that I think a lot of us can relate to possibly. I've been dealing with the loss of a relationship that meant a lot to me for 9 months or so now and although there's been some slight progress with dealing with that pain, it still comes and goes and I can't get it out of my head. I feel this is taking way longer than it should if I'm being honest.

As a result, I've been missing that connection in life that made me genuinely happy for a while, which was having someone to hug/cuddle, someone to tell your most intimate details to and all that sort of stuff. I definitely have my friends and I'm even lucky to have a friend I've known since forever, but I don't feel comfortable having that sort of relationship with them where I can talk about how I feel or just those deeper conversations as they're not the type of people that do or enjoy those things which makes me feel even worse and I feel stuck. I don't feel like meeting anyone new either as I'm not ready for it yet and I feel like it's hard to find even platonic friendships these days.

Does anyone have any good tips or advice for dealing with a situation like this or feeling better about it? I feel so stuck and I have no one to share that side of me with and it makes me so sad. I also used to live with my pets that would cuddle me too so losing that as well really adds to the pain.

2 Replies 2

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Trish_@, welcome to the site.

Platonic friends we meet, we hope that they'll become a true friend, but we won't know until over time he trust between the two of us has been proven, it can't happen overnight, private secrets and regrets have to shared several times before we know they are our one and only true friend, there isn't anything we don't share together, but unfortunately these friendships can be broken for some reason, and when this does occur it breaks our heart.

If we meet a new person we always compare them to the friend we've lost, unbeknown to us and not intentionally and once we begin to share private stories can be disappointing, simply because their reaction isn't what we had expected, so we start looking again.

Once we lose a really good friend, then trying to rekindle this may not be easy, because the same relationship may not be the same.

You may meet a group of new friends and hopefully one or two people in this group may get closer to you over time and begin to open up with you and not the rest of these people, then slowly a real friend develops, but it takes a small period of time.

Losing your pets is devastating and it may take you a while to regain that confidence to have another one, and although people say go and get another one, isn't that easy.

All of this is an experience some of us have experienced and know that it's not pleasant at all.

I'm really sorry.

Geoff.

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello and welcome back.

Losing a significant other creates a hole in our lives that can be hard to fill. Having a good support group sounds hard also from what I read in your post.

I wonder if you have broached the subject with them?

Just a thought.

You are right about the little things - someone to hug or talk to. An old lady told me those things herself and her husband died years ago. She fills her time with things to do. From her perspective you don't really forget what was.

So I guess the question is ... What things can we do to bring some joy back into our lives?

For example, an elderly gentleman took up painting in retirement.

What sort of things do you like to do?