I dont know who i am anymore
Lately i just feel like i am getting dragged along not doing anything useful. The thing is i am pretty much useless, my anxiety is bad i cant even do what most other people can do my age and now i just have no motivation to learn because i know i will stuff it up or not go anywhere with it. I dont have a job, i dont study anymore and now that i am living with my nan its like i feel trapped even though i was in a worse position at home with my dad smoking weed with most of my inheritance money. I don't know what i am good at, liking something is not enough anymore because i know that i will be alone forever.
Welcome to the forums, we are sorry to hear that you sitting in a tough headspace.
Please know that whilst your feelings are valid and it's good that you are utilising the online space to articulate them, you are not useless or alone. Liking something, like a hobby, whilst not 'useful' or productive, can help us find joy and help us practise self-care when we feel like things like anxiety or not having a job can get us down.
This community can help you connect you to people with similar experiences and gain insight. We can also direct you towards professional resources too, and support you along that journey. Is there anything that you can do, however small, to uplift your mood each day? Self-compassion is key, after all.
Let us know how you are going, if you like.
I feel your anxiety is making you try to believe the way you feel about yourself...Anxiety says we are no good at doing things and we will stuff it up....It’s okay if you do stuff it up..the first, second or how many times we try..the most important thing is to not stop trying...
Finding something your good at might take some time...There’s so many different hobbies or interests that’s available..and it could be quite fun trying different things, like drawing, knitting, painting, models of cars, planes etc..internet games, gardening, helping your nan cook and learn how to cook for you...
Volunteer work is good to help you get out of the house and mix with some people...My anxiety kept me at home nearly always... volunteering has helped me feel like I’m helping people...Maybe something like volunteering could help you a little because you’re doing something that helps others...and meeting new people...
Unicorn, Do you have anything that you do like to talk about or do....What style of music do you like to listen to?....only answer if you feel to..no pressure Unicorn..
We are listening to you and hopefully we can help talk you through this hard time your going through...
My kindest thoughts and care to you Unicorndogge,
I am okay i guess. I just feel pointless like what is the meaning to my life or me. I draw for no reason, why do something when its just a waste of time if you arent any good.i dont have any purpose, no friends just one of my penpals that i might lose because i confessed how i felt about him not that i like him. I just want a friend and if is the only way to do it then so be it. If i am going to be alone for all this time then i want to do something useful but i know that won't happen because i am scared of everything. No one would want someone like me, someone who is practically hopeless. I dont care if anyone hates me for my negativity because you know what i am sick of it.
We're so grateful that you have reached out to our community tonight, we know it can be a really difficult thing to do when you're feeling so low. We're so sorry to hear that you feel like no one cares, but please know that this is a safe space to express yourself, and our wonderful community is here to help support you through this.
We can hear how overwhelmed, and how exhausting you must be feeling at the moment, but please remember that support is always here for you. The friendly counsellors at Kids Helpline are always available to talk these feelings through, 24/7, on 1800 55 1800 or you can visit https://kidshelpline.com.au for webchat. We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.
In addition to this, our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are there to help support you 24/7 whenever these feelings become too much to cope with.
We hope that you continue to feel supported by your friends here, and feel free to keep us updated on how you are going whenever you feel up to it.
I have already tried them and they dont work. Maybe everyone already knows how useless i am so what is the point. When i be nice everyone hates me so then i cant be nice and when i am not nice then its the same. So what is the difference? Nothing, i have a support worker who takes me out she is basically my fake friend because i cant fend for myself. Nothing has changed in the three years i have been out of school, i am still running around in circles. What is the point? I want to know because nothing is working and now i dont feel like trying anything because i know there is 99% chance it isnt going to work. Hate me all you like i really dont have anything to lose
I am sorry I didn’t reply to you...We do care about you..yesterday I wasn’t in the best frame of mind to reply..like you we all have or are going through our own mental health journeys...
I can relate to your last post about what’s thevuse of doing things...I often feel the same..I live alone my children all married with their own families and live over 7 hours away...
I have started doing things like drawing, making a beanie, and a few more things ..then I think what for am I doing this for....The answer is for me..to feel like I have achieved something...My drawing is like that of a child...not good at all...but hey everyone is not good at drawing...but while I was drawing..it took my thoughts away from my head, that’s what distraction is all about..
Maybe you could make something for your nan...a lovely card, or poster, showing how much she means to you, for taking care of you...I’m certain she will treasure it, and it will make you feel good giving it to her...
It doesn’t matter that you can’t do things other people can do..We are all different individuals..we go at our own pace, to learn and do things..their is no time limited on learning things...please be gentle with yourself..your not well and doing the best you can in life...and I’m proud of you for doing so..
Can I ask you what you like drawing, or what era of music do you like to listen to....only if you want to share..
Taking nice walk with your nan, might help your anxiety by getting our of the house, and taking your mind of your anxieties a bit, plus you are getting some exercise and fresh air...I think your nan would like that as well...
Keep talking here dear Unicorndogge, we are listening and we are here to help you as much as we can...
Kind and warm caring thoughts lovely a Unicorndogge..
First of all thanks for sharing your story online. According to me, you are a very insightful person who knows what the problem is. I also know it is very frustrating after constant rejections you feel like giving up because nothing is working. If I may suggest something, at least for one day do something without expectation - it is a fact! Frustrations arise when we have an expectation of the result.
It can be anything. Like what are your hobbies? Or if you want you could go on a self-exploration journey like doing a bit of yoga or meditation and it will definitely make your cognitive fogs clearer. Please keep me updated with your story, I really would like to help you out because there was a time when I was also miserable and depressed internally throughout my early adolescence and young adulthood. I fixed it!!! And now I am just helping others and inspiring them!!!
I dont like doing any drawing because everytime i do it, its not good enough. I come up with all these ideas just so someone can complain that they dont like it. For example i just tried to do fix a painting up for my nans friend and i came up with different ways then they just complain about how the colour has to be same. Well for god sake i was only trying to think of ways how to make it look better. So really its just a waste of time just like everything else. So how can i feel like i achieved something from it?
Just pacing along is not good enough anymore. Everyone hates me because i am stubborn now probably my penpal does to and i talked to him for so many months just for him to hate me in the end. No wonder i am going no where i am just getting meaner and meaner and when i am nice people are mean back to me so how should i act?
I have been walking but it does little, i find that walking is the best for me if i want to take away my energy but my anxiety doesnt go away. I want to be able to be like normal people and know that isnt going to happen and i have been trying to get a job but i am so scared to even walk in there. I have Applied for a few but have made an idiot out of myself, thats why i am still sitting here they dont want someone as dumb as me. I am literally 20 and havent done things other people have done and i probably will never get the chance. My life is pretty much a waste.
I like lots of different music