I don't know how to deal with School
Hi, this is my first time posting on something like this so excuse me if I come off a bit nervous.
I don't know how to deal with school anymore. I've always been a good student, gotten good grades, but I feel like I'm being dragged along and forcing myself to try is getting harder and harder. I have no motivation for school. I love learning, but what we study in school is a complete waste of my time. I'm 15, and my entire adolescence has been filled with academic and musical pressure. I feel like I'm wasting my life, like there is more that I could be doing outside of learning logarithms or how coasts erode.
No motivation and no direction, only forcing myself forward. I don't know why I do it anymore. It's like living for the sake of it. Every minute I ask myself, what am I doing? Who am I living for?
It's the constant weight that's getting difficult to deal with, and I'm sick of talking about it. I just want to do something.
Sorry for the long rant. I hope you guys are doing well.
Hello strawb3rry milk
It is so wonderful that you have found yourself here to reach out to chat to us and to let us know how you are feeling.
See, I am 46 years old and I remember being told "school is the best time of your life"...I don't agree with that at all, not one little bit. School is hard, we are trying to learn new things, compete against others and also keep up academically, BUT then there is a whole other lot of stuff going on too..Who am I? What do I want in this life? What if I don't know what I want? and so many many more questions just like this. Can I say with whole certainty that there is so much more to life after school, with choices you can make to engage in the things you love, the things that make you happy, and you don't even know what they are just yet..and that is the joy of the journey...called life.
That is why reaching out to chat is so very important, so that you can know that you are not the only one asking these questions, "Who am I living for?" "What am I doing?"....and you know what ...it is perfectly ok too to not know the answer today, or even tomorrow...as like I said, I am 46 years old and am still on my journey to finding out what I want to do, and that is exciting. At 15 you have so many choices to make and so many things going on, I am wondering if you have someone that you can talk to about this and how you are feeling? A friend or even a school counsellor? Even if you don't feel like you know how to start a conversation you can show them what you have written here as you have expressed yourself so very well. Are you able to talk with a parent? I see you say you are sick of talking about it so maybe you have already reached out and are speaking with someone about this.
I am so proud of you for coming to get some clarity on how you are feeling and how things are going for you, we are here to sit with you and to listen and so you can share as much as you feel comfortable to here, without judgement or criticism. Please don't apologize for your "rant", it is no rant at all...and we are here for you.
I am wondering if you know about Kids Helpline, they are available to talk to on the phone and also webchat if you feel more comfortable. They are so awesome and are real experts in chatting with young adults. The number is 1800 55 1800, I will also put the link here for you:
I hope to chat you some more.
I finished my HSC only last year, and school was extremely hard for me motivation wise. I hated my classes, classroom setting and having no real control cause it's something we feel like we're forced to do. So I completely understand as someone who does love learning.
15 was very hard for me mental health wise. My advice to you is to realise that whatever grades you get now won't be detrimental to anything, trust me. If all you can manage is passing your assignments right now so you can take some steps back, then that's completely okay and reasonable. There's extreme pressure on academic performance in year 9 and 10, and looking back on it, it really wouldn't have changed the marks I got in my HSC and it's ridiculous.
Though it's easier said than done, especially if you're someone with performance anxiety, please take breaks - I'm a guitar player too, so try to remove the pressures of success and enjoy music. Talk to people and be around friends and family, play your favourite games, whatever puts you in a happy place, try to do it more often.
I had a bad period of depression at 14/15 where school was completely pointless to me and almost unbearable, I got away with getting B's and doing the bare minimum. I completely understand your frustration. It helped me to look long term into a bigger picture. I've just started Uni to do a psychology degree where I hope to work in mental health and help people with the same things I've been through - you will be at a place in your life where you have more control to enjoy learning and not feel so restricted by school. Because trust me, what you're feeling isn't your fault, it's the circumstances you're in, and you won't be in them forever.
Your mental health is the most important thing despite the pressures around you that make you feel like your wellbeing isn't a priority. And we're here to remind you how important and valid your struggles are, especially me as someone who is so happy to be out of school.
I personally went to my school counsellor who was amazing - I could get out of class and go to her office where I could process things and get some great advice. I've also used headspace services and would really recommend them, even as someone who was very daunted by the idea of it. I know you're frustrated with talking about it, but in doing so you will get a lot of advice on how you can change and manage things.
Thank you for reaching out, I hope I've helped in some way.