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I can't handle the social anxiety anymore

Community Member
I've been struggling with social anxiety for about 3 years now. It got bad when I started university, it was a whole new environment and i couldn't handle it. Everyday was a constant battle with myself and I felt i had no control over my life. I constantly thought people were judging me and criticising me, i was paranoid all the time. It got worse and i started getting panic attacks. I realised that the way i was feeling and acting wasn't normal, so i went and saw a psychologist. He taught me some good relaxing techniques to calm me down and helped me control the bad thoughts. And i got a bit better after that, i had a good period, i tried really hard to get out of my comfort zone. But then it just slowly built up again and the next year i dropped out of university. Not just because of the social anxiety but also because i didn't like it. Up until now my social anxiety hasn't gotten worse but its still always there, i still struggle with it everyday i have just gotten use to it i guess, I try to block it out. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis a bit over a year ago, which has been quite hard to deal with, its always in the back of my mind. Its just another thing about my body that I have no control over. Im now in college studying again. Ive always been ambitious, i wanted to go back to school and get a good job because my future freaks me out a lot. If I'm going to get a good job etc. Im also a perfectionist which stresses me out a lot, especially when it comes to school and my grades. I have made a few friends, but not close ones. I sit with them in some of my classes but not the lectures. We don't speak that much, i find it so hard to make small talk or keep the conversation going. Its exhausting! I hate going to college sometimes because I'm just scared that I'm going to embarrass myself or say something stupid. And I'm scared that the teacher is going to ask me a question because my mind goes blank and i feel everyone stares at me and is judging me and i start sweating. Its just been building up and i can't talk to anyone about it because I'm embarrassed that I'm like this way. I just don't want to be like this anymore, and i try so hard to switch the negative thoughts off but i just can't. What scares me the most is how long am I going to be like this. How am i going to meet people, get a job, finish university? I have tried everything. I was wondering what someones thoughts on antidepressants is, and if it might help me?
2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Kellie, welcome to the forums.

You're not alone in dealing with social anxiety. Have a look through the two threads below recently started by our members Katie101 and Jukee - perhaps you can share some coping strategies together?

Social anxiety - by Katie 101

Social anxiety - by Jukee

Community Member

Hello Kelliew

I can relate a little to how you are feeling. I know putting yourself in a different environment with all new faces can be a scary thing. I felt that way when I started my current job, I found it hard to talk to anyone so I just stayed quiet most of the time. I also find it a challenge to have a conversation with some one because I worry about saying something I will regret and embarrassing myself, because once you say something you can't un-say it!

I often wonder if I am liked or not by my co workers and how they feel about me, and I really hope nobody dislikes me, because I always try to be nice to everyone. So I tell myself that if they really did not like me then they would have let me know by now, and since I have lasted as long as I have then I figure they at least must feel neutral about me rather than dislike me.

I am consumed with negative thoughts myself, it can be really sad, and even scary, I'm not sure about anti-depressants but talking to someone might help. If you need someone to talk to, I would be glad to chat with you, I also need someone to talk to now. Please don't feel embarrassed either because I am not a judgmental person and I am very compassionate and I would never be insensitive.

Keep doing your best.