Help?

[Jessie_w]

Hi I'm Jesse. Im 11, and I don't think I'll even make it past 12. I have so much stress on me, and there is so much to worry about all the time. No one Understands how I'm feeling. Whenever I try to talk about my feelings with someone, they either laugh at me, say I'm faking, or say it's not a big deal. I think I'm gonna give up soon. 

Also, sometimes randomly, when I'm having a serious conversation, I accidentally think about my teacher, or parent, or friend, or anyone having sex, or getting hurt. So to stop thinking about it, I think about someone else, but it backfires, an now I'm thinking about even worse things happening to them. Oh no! What if they can read my mind, and they know that I'm thinking inappropriate thoughts about them! stop thinking about it, or I'll get in trouble!

also, "I think I'm depressed! Nah nevermind. I'm faking, I just think I'm depressed, so when someone reads my mind, they also think I'm depressed. No that's stupid! People can't read minds! I need mental help. No I just thought that so when they read my mind, they will believe me, and give me attention." And that cycle of thoughts keeps repeating, like reverse reverse reverse reverse phycology.

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the forums, Jessie.

We know how tough it can be to reach out when you're feeling so low, which is why we think you have shown so much strength in taking this important step here tonight. It sounds like you have so much on your plate at the moment that things are starting to feel really overwhelming to cope with. We can also hear how disheartenend and dismissed you must feel whenever you try to open up to those around you about these feelings, but instead get brushed off and told that it's not a big deal. But please know that we hear you and understand. You are not alone here, and many others reading will be able to relate to these feelings you're experiencing. Our community is here to help support you in this safe space with kidness, empathy and no judgement.

We are also currently getting in touch with you privately to check in with you and make sure you're doing okay. We'd also encourage you to try reaching out to the kind counsellors at Kids Help Line, who offer confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. You can talk these thoughts and feelings through with them anytime on 1800 55 1800, or also through their webchat if you'd feel more comfortable talking online: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST at: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

We're all here for you, and we hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Jessie

It can be really great to talk to a professional, as these people will try to understand you and won't laugh or think you're faking. The chat lines that Sophie mentioned are great. Or maybe you have a school counsellor or a trusted adult you could talk to? I'm sorry that you're finding things so hard. Sometimes I have trouble with my thinking too. I have a psychologist that I talk to, and she helps me to make sense of things. You're very welcome here and there's always people willing to listen. Let us know how you're going.

Katy

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to the forums.

firstly, Sophie_M has a lot of good advice in the above post so I won't repeat anything there.

Based on your age, I am guessing you are at school and wondering if your school has any counsellors you might be able to talk to?

I would also say that after reading about your internal dialogue, is a little like me where you have these internal arguments or conversations. And I will reveal something to you about me from what you said. There are times when I feel "good" and think that I have been faking it all the time and won't have anything to say to my psychologist. Or there are people in greater need than me. There are also other times when I feel that I have failed everyone and in those moments I know why I am getting help.

You have made the first step in writing here which takes strength and is courageous. The people will support you as long as you are here. And maybe when the time is right for you, you will be able to talk to someone. After all, you are special person and deserving of support at this time.

[Petal22]

Hi Jessie w,

Wellcome to our forums!

Jessie please know you aren't alone and you CAN recover from what you are going through. I can totally relate to what you are saying, it’s exactly what I used to do the same cycle…… I was diagnosed with OCD….. obsessive compulsive disorder…… it’s an anxiety disorder and it is totally treatable! I’m now recovered and have been recovered for over 4 years!

My OCD consisted of having very intrusive thoughts about people close to me of becoming harmed… these thoughts would send my anxiety into over drive, I would constantly seek reassurance from other people in regards to these thoughts ( this was a compulsion of mine) to try to relieve my anxiety….

OCD is a vicious cycle…… it’s very intense…..and distressing to the sufferer..

We have these thoughts and know they seem irrational but they “ feel” very real…….

our thoughts seem taboo to the sufferer

i understand completely what you are going through you arnt alone many people have this condition..

Have you been able to speak to your parents about the way you are feeling?

Please seek help from your gp it’s the first step towards recovery, you can do a mental health plan together. Mention OCD to your gp and ask if they can refer you to someone who specialises in OCD….., I did meta cognitive therapy for my OCD it was the best thing I ever did….. I’m now recovered…. My gp also put me on a antidepressant for my anxiety…..

Please talk to me Jessie w , you CAN recover from this hang in there and seek the help you need….. life can be great after OCD!

[geoff]

Hello Jessie, we commend you for being so brave in posting your comment, it's not easy to, especially at your age, so thank you so much for reaching out.

I only wish this is what I could have done years ago, but BB wasn't available back in those times and like those above all we want to do is help you.

Never believe you are faking it, please never because how you are feeling and definitely thinking may have an explanation, and I'm not a doctor but can certainly relate to what you're saying.

It doesn't matter what age anybody is because if they are thinking like what you have told us, then it's so hard for people to actually believe what their thoughts keep telling them, especially about people they regard as being a friend, however, if you do have OCD then all of this is absolutely possible and I've had to struggle with this for a long time myself and know what you are saying.

There is a way to understand these thoughts if you google or place this in the search bar at the top of the page, 'intrusive thoughts', this will explain exactly what you're thinking about and help you realise that many other people also suffer from it, but it can be helped, just ask your parents you need to see the doctor, makeup any reason you want if you don't want to tell them, just yet, because it's not something you want the world to know about, simply because they wouldn't understand, as those who don't have this illness, don't understand, no matter how hard you try, but if you like can tell them later on in life.

Please Jessie you are no different than a large portion of the population who suffer from this.

Really hope you can get back to us.

Geoff.