Growing apart from my mum

[Chickyb]

My mum and I used to be very close. I told her everything, she knew everything about me and she even used my Facebook (probably not the best idea now I look back). Everyone was jealous of our relationship, it was so supportive and easy. My mother found out that she had be diagnosed with a health issue. At this same time I had started seeing someone and was spending less time with mum and more time with him. I tried to support her how I could but I think she felt like I abondend her and didn't bother to include me in her appointments, information on the disease etc. It's been 2 years and we hardly speak, she is very blunt and never wants to include me yet she stated that I forgot about her and left her. I have struggled with depression since and I hate coming home as it's awkward and reminds me of our crumbled relationship. She cries and blames me and no matter what I say it's never good enough. Am I just growing up? Is this normal? The relationship issue is still effecting my mental state so much that I am putting things off, sleeping through the day due to overthinking and feeling guilty when I am not at home or in her sight. Its getting to much and I'm beginning to feel feelings of resent towards her however I want to support her through her health issue. I don't know what to do I'm honestly just drained, flat and feeling worthless.

[Guest_128]

Hey, hello,

I am really blunt and I don't write very well so I don't want to scare you there will be others that will come.

I have two daughters that I love to the moon and back. ATM I can't stand them because of their age,and they hate me.

What I think is your mum has treated you like a best friend,partner,even her own mother.

Best thing for YOU is to get some help from a professional for YOU first.and so you can get help for your mum.

keep posting,you will get some great help here.

you are and have been doing a great job.

This is your life too,thanks for posting.

Later

[Chickyb]

The part I really needed to hear was 'this is your life to' THANKYOU! your kind words have helped! ❤️

[Guest_128]

No probs,

and you are doing nothing wrong btw😘

[Homebound]

My son and I share a very close relationship, I can relate. My mental illness has driven us apart due to my erratic behaviours during an episode. I'm working hard to fix me, my condition is not his problem but has affected him. As his mother, it is my duty to look after my health so it does not burden him. When my son had to get away from me, it was hard to accept but I understood. And it was healthy that he took action to look after himself. Sometimes when us parents are unwell, we look to our kids as you are our rocks. But it is necessary that you move forward in your own lives in your own way. Illness prevents us accepting that, and we feel abandoned. But you are not abandoning us by having your own lives. You sound like a wonderful, loving daughter to be so concerned. Hold onto that love even if mum is sometimes being irrational in her expectations. I'm guilty of doing that myself but I'm slowly working on it.