Upon leaving college I had a career plan that was then taken away when the courses of interest were no longer offered in my state. This and a desire for independence pushed me into customer service/ hospitality to work. I moved out with my partner of the time but then we were not compatible and I moved back home. A lot happened, I worked, purchased a car, dabbled in finding a relationship, spent a lot of time with my friends and decided to return to study something else at university. I found a partner and overall we have a healthy and thriving relationship.
The course I progressed into I either had to study online or drive for 3 hours to the campus it was offered on. I did a bit of both initially. Now with Covid I can only study online. I began to resent my job more and more, the fast paced customer service, the rude customers, working weekends, early mornings, changing rosters, not spending time with those in 9-5 jobs and simply I am bored and need to move on. I began applying for work else where, however ideally I would like part time work and this is a rarity, I am under qualified, I have had multiple rejections and now with Covid there just aren't the jobs out there. I moved into a share house with my partner and I have found it difficult to adjust, whilst it is generally a good household, it has increased social anxiety and I find it difficult not having a space to call my own. I can't afford rent alone though. I joined a mat pilates class but with Covid the times changed and I could no longer attend, I can't afford or can't attend other places and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to even just force myself to go for a walk. I increasingly feel like a strain on my partner, I feel like I ask for alot of his time, I am insecure and whilst he is successfully working full time, I am not. He is generally very supportive but obviously he can't fix my problems for me. A close family member also became unwell this year and this has been difficult to process, particularly with the world at the moment. At my age I long for holidays, friends, to buy a house and have a baby, sadly none of these are an option to me at the moment. I feel so stuck.
Hi Elsie 878,
First, welcome to the forum. It is very courageous of you to reach out and acknowledge that you are experiencing feelings of social anxiety and noticing you are not in a positive mood. Being able to acknowledge and speak about it is the first step into feeling better about yourself again.
Whilst it might seem hard to acknowledge right now, it sounds like you have achieved some awesome goals in life. You are in a relationship, and you have acknowledged he seems supportive. This is a wonderful thing to have. However, you should not feel like you are a burden on him because of some challenges you are facing.
Covid-19 is a surreal event, and something we will only ever have to experience once in our lifetime. I am sorry to hear it has impacted your work and social life, and you now have justified feelings of being stuck. Having a close family member go through illness also during this time only just adds to it. However, it is very good of you to see that you are finding it difficult to have a place to call your own in a share house situation. There are some resources on mindfulness that could perhaps be useful to you, to help you find your own mental space in what is a challenging time. I have included the link below:
Until the world gets back to normal, we need to try and find ways to make ourselves feel better in constraints that are, unfortunately, beyond our control. Whilst we can't go to where we want to on holiday, are there things that you enjoy doing that you can prioritise on your day/s off? Whilst you can't see friends as often as you may like, try and be creative by chatting to them on Facetime, Zoom, or whatever outlet is available to you.
As for the job situation, it is not an easy market at the moment. Take some time out to think about what job you as your next step, and what will make you less bored. And try not to be down on missing out on a job, as this means you are closer to securing the next job.
I hope the above has helped, but please reach out if you have any more comments or questions as we are all here to help. I hope you have a great rest of your day.