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Feeling horrible.

Community Member

Hi, I’ve never written something like this before and it scares me but I really need to get this off my chest.

For the last few years, since I’ve started high school, I’ve begun feeling these weird waves of stress, sadness and especially loneliness. I have a lot of friends but I find myself feeling so lonely I sometimes feel sick in my stomach and my chest aches. I have a best friend who is like my sister, but I get stressed a lot that she will eventually leave me for someone better, and I often worry that she doesn’t like me anymore, although she reassures me that I’m being crazy. I often don’t want to tell her anything because I am worried about putting my problems on her, as I have done that in the past and I feel that it has taken a toll on her.
I am always feeling stressed and I worry about anything and everything. I can hardly put it into words but sometimes my chest feels tight and I can’t sit still as if I am about to start a test or that something bad is about to happen to me, even when there’s nothing to be stressed about. I get angry very easily, and I am worried that I will say something horrible while angry to my friends. I can be very aggressive, although I have never ever (and never will) be physical, I have yelled at my friends before. Sometimes I just feel so stressed that I snap and I find it hard to control my temper.
I have lots of wonderful friends and hobbies and a family I love, but I am feeling sad more and more as I get older. I get waves of sadness a lot and randomly start crying. People sometimes notice but I say that I’m just tired and although that is part of it I know that I am usually lying. I don’t use drugs or alcohol because I know that would make the problem worse for me, so instead I watch a lot of movies and write a lot to try and take my mind off everything at the moment.

I am turning sixteen in just a couple weeks, and i am starting to feel like my life is pointless. I have a great home life but I’m desperate to leave my city and even my country.
I feel like I need to start anew. I love my friends but I don’t feel like I fit in with most of them.
I know I should probably talk to someone about these issues but I’m just too terrified. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything and I’m scared to talk to someone in case I am. Plus they would be a stranger, and that just makes me more nervous.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

1 Reply 1

Dear Alice b,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it.