Feel a bit lost, hey

[Bloom94]

Hey everyone,

This is my first time on here, I literally just signed up haha. Come to think of it, I think this is my first thread I've ever made online so here goes.

I'm 21, male, study design at university, work as a barista, drive a Mazda3 - I'm pretty much a cliché - laugh it up. I reckon I'm a pretty upbeat kind of person, love my mates to death, love being around people and making them laugh. I'm an idiot pretty much - but I think that's why people like me. I've always been a little anxious like I suppose everyone is, I've been through some rough times but I've always come out on the other side. I've gone out into the world trying to make something of myself, trying to discipline myself towards achieving goals in order to become the person I always wanted to be - I was doing a pretty good job of that until maybe sometime this year, I'd say around January/feburary. I still kept at doing the same thing. Going to uni, going to work, going out with my mates, designing things and laughing it up along the way. But I think something crept up on me without me even noticing. I'm not sure what it is. It could be my underlying anxiety or maybe something more - I havnt gone to see anyone since I find that after been in a rut and fixing any issues, I seem fine and back to normal.

but this year, I've noticed I'm less motivated. I stopped going to classes as much, I started drinking more, and even more on my own. I started doing other things to shut up my brain. I guess I first noticed something wasn't quite right when I counted the empty bottles of veno in my bedroom. That was a bit of an eye opener. It's embarrassing, but I'm being honest. Lately it's been worse. I feel anxious, crave the feeling of not being in control, I feel lonely when in reality I'm not and I miss my family. I quit my other job because it was making me unhappy and I felt better after that. But it's not money I can see now that makes me anxious, it's got to be something else, I just can't figure it out.

Main point being, I've lost my mojo. I'm dissapointed in myself. I still have passion but it kinda feels like a dying flame. That's super emotive I know, but I guess it's a good analogy for my situation. I get real high and then I get really low, I get angry and frustrated which is unusual for my personality. I never take it out on others, I just keep it to myself. I don't wanna be that guy because I'm not.

Anyway, I hope this makes some sense. Cheers for your input 😊

[Wednesday]

Hi Bloom94,

Welcome to the forum. Reading your post was sad. You seem to have hit a wall but without any real understanding of what is happening to you. It could be a number of things, have you spoke to your GP? There is a lot of information on the site about depression, anxiety and other things you may like to have look around and see if any of it helps make sense of what your feeling.

You mentioned missing your family. This sounds like a good time to reconnect with them, are you able to do that?

it's great that you reached out and the forum has a lot people that are great listeners and have been there so can offer some suggestions. There is also a call line 1300 22 4636 that may be able to offer you some help and information.

Your in safe company here, if your up to it get back to us and let us know how yo are going?

[White_Rose]

Dear Bloom

Hello and welcome. That's an interesting name for a man. Your first name is not Orlando by some chance?

The symptoms (for want of a better word) you describe could be a number of things. The overall impression I get is that you are depressed. However that's not really for me to diagnose, not being a doctor. My suggestion is that you book an appointment with your GP, make it a long one, and explain how you feel. I often suggest that people copy and print their post above and take that to the doctor.

You have given a great explanation of how you feel and this would be a great help to your GP and save time. The feelings you describe are familiar to many of the folk who write in here. A bit of anxiety and dollop of depression. The two go hand in hand quite often.

Losing your mojo is a great way to explain what's happening because that's how we feel, lost, confused, scared, lonely, topped off with an icing of being unmotivated. There may be a physical cause for your sadness and this is what your doctor will look at first I imagine. Much easier to put right.

Self-medicating with alcohol is also a common reaction for exactly the reason you say. Not being in control for many people is not acceptable but when life gets too hard it feels good to be able to lose control. Even your brain takes rest and that's the bit about shutting up your brain. Not sure what you mean by other things but I hope you do not mean street drugs or gambling. These three activities are pretty much to the 'go to' remedies for depression. They don't work and they will, in all probability, make you feel worse.

Would you browse this web site and look at the information on anxiety and depression. Download what you want or send for hard copies. There is also a brief test you can complete, which indicates your likelihood of being depressed. Remember it's a very quick test, a bit of a snapshot, but take that to your doctor as well.

You describe yourself as being very outgoing but this is changing. I wonder if you want more depth to your life but don't know how or where to find it. Perhaps you have become tired of being the clown of the group instead of being valued for your other skills and personal attributes.

Nearly out of word allowance. Can you continue to write in here where others will also 'talk' to you. In the meantime, go and see your GP. I think you will benefit most from this. Just thought, being in uni there must be campus counsellors. Why not see one of them?

Mary

[Enju]

Hello!

I can really relate to you! I'm also a outgoing ish, happy - normally, smiles a lot, fun human too!
So I get how it's creeped up on your without even knowing. The best thing you've done is recognize that something is up, and out of place.

Maybe you could talk to one of your closer mates about how you're feeling. I know there's a bit of a stigma saying guys can't talk about their feelings, but if you do have a friend you can talk to, it helps a bit.

Welcome to the community. I hope we can all get better together 🙂