Everything Angers Me

DearDerek · ‎26-09-2019

Not to sound like your typical angsty, testosterone-filled ball of suppressed teenage emotion, but everything angers me. I didn't think it'd be appropriate for me to add onto a different forum and I'm hoping that this forum gives me as much insight on why I'm angry. I understand that my thought processes are a bit off thanks to my underdeveloped frontal lobe but I'm being 100% honest.

Somehow, it was so easy for me to change from this person so crippled by despair that daily necessities became null into a person debilitated by anger. Anything can, and probably will piss me off. Something as small as 2 minutes of my time wasted feels like the biggest inconvenience of my life. Anyone slightly attacking me or disagreeing with me does peeve me, but nowadays I get more and more annoyed for the smallest reasons.

For example, anyone touchy with me or more comfortable with me than they should make me angry. Now my thought process is, (and as irrational as it may sound), "they're comfortable with me but I'm not comfortable with them, who gave them the right?" So usually I tell the person off. "Don't touch me please." And they still continue to do it, everyone in my friend group says stuff like "They're just a touchy person." And it makes me feel like I'm in the wrong when clearly he's just not respecting my boundaries.

That was just one of many examples that I do not feel are relevant telling, all I know is that I reach a boiling point of anger daily and I don't know how to release any of it. There is no underlying stress (other than the fact that I have homework to catch up on, which doesn't stress me a lot of the time), so I don't know what's wrong with me.

I want to go to a therapist about this but I'm not familiar or comfortable with the whole opening up thing. As far as I know, my family doesn't know much about me, only the surface stuff like "he's sarcastic all the time," and it'd be weird if they ask why I need to see a therapist. My sister already sees a psychologist and my parents are blowing a lot of money on her.

Once again, my problems do not exist to anyone except me, because of my sister. 😕

Summer Rose · ‎26-09-2019

Hi DearDerek

I am not a doctor or a counsellor, just a mum with a son and a daughter.

The last line of your post really resonated with me, Once again, my problems do not exist to anyone except me, because of my sister. This comment made me wonder if perhaps you are angry on some level (conscious or unconscious) because your sister is unwell and getting a lot of emotional and financial attention.

I know from experience that when a family member falls ill with a mental health condition it affects the entire family.

My daughter fell ill with OCD when she was 13. My son was 15. He began acting out in very unhelpful ways (being angry, sullen, difficult) and I know now that he was just trying to get my support and attention.

With the help of a family counsellor we got to the bottom of what was happening for him. He was scared--if his sister could fall ill then anyone could, even him. He was also angry to find his emotional needs coming second because his sister was unwell and it took so much of my energy to care for her.

I might be way off-track here but something for you to consider. Nevertheless, my advice would be to talk to your parents about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing and to seek professional help. You matter, too.

It's not healthy, easy or pleasant to live a life full of anger. But it can get better with the right help.

Kind thoughts to you

DearDerek · ‎29-09-2019

Thank you for reaching out,

I'm definitely considering professional help. Your reply was very insightful and maybe a bit too close for comfort. But, nevertheless, insightful.

Kind thoughts to you too.

Summer Rose · ‎30-09-2019

Hi DearDerek

I'm really thankful for your reply, as I've been thinking about you. I am sorry if I "got too close for comfort". I kind of went out on a limb, only because I have lived through what it seemed you are experiencing.

I know it's tough on you right now. And I believe that the anger you are experiencing as a result of you feeling somewhat overlooked is normal. You wouldn't be human if you weren't feeling it.

I had to "fall on my sword", swallow a lot of guilt, forgive myself and really work to get a healthy relationship back with my son and he also had to work on his anger toward me and the world but we got there. At the end of the day, you are part of a family where I hope love, understanding and forgiveness will prevail. Professional help will smooth your path.

Kind thoughts to you