Can't seem to keep a job!

[ppaige]

So i'm only 23 and I have worked in (i feel like) every industry. I have never stayed at a workplace for longer than a year, or I tend to juggle two jobs at one time. I have spent heaps of money on different courses and training in fields that i THINK I'd like to work in, however, after a short period of time, I end up unable to cope with it all and leave. A part of me hates working; it's not that I am lazy, as I am a very hard worker. But my issue is that I don't seem to enjoy working at jobs. I have tried, retail, office/admin, hospitality, and even support work.

I just started a new job recently, to which after only three and a half weeks, I've asked for a few weeks off. I dread going to work, I cry for hours after a shift, and I am left unable to eat. I just figure, why work in a job when it makes me feel this physically and mentally ill. It's just not fair. I want to love this job, and just any job in general, but I never feel satisfied, and I count down the hours until home time every single shift.

At this stage I feel like I'd be better off doing some sort of work from home, as thats where i want to be. But knowing me, I'll work from home for a few weeks, and then complain that I wish I could leave the house.

Everything is escalated right now because my depression and anxiety is bad, but the fact that I still feel this way when I am feeling mentally okay is really bothering me. I want to be a woman who earns her own money, but at the same time, I would rather never work a day in my life because for some ridiculous reason, keeping a job seems like the hardest task in the world. What do I do from here????

[Sophie_M]

Hey ppaige, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums.

We're sorry to hear you're having a difficult time at work, it sounds as though your work environment is very stressful. Is there a particular aspect of your job that you are finding distressing? we admire that you continue to stay positive and seek out new jobs despite the negative experiences you have had. If could pick a dream job, what do you think it would be? Can we ask if you are receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

Many in our community have experienced similar feelings and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.
   

[dReM]

I hear ya ppaige!

Same but different. I have had lots of jobs over the years but all in the same industry.

I am currently seeking help with it - so I'll let you know if I get any hot tips! Right now I don't have that hot ticket for you, but please know that you're not the only one facing a problem like this!

The old "train wreck" of a resume makes me wonder how I'm going to convince other people I'm a good, reliable worker too...

Stay in touch hey!

[ppaige]

I think the most distressing part of the job is the responsibility I have been given. The role is as a disability support worker, however I have never had this much responsibility over a person before. I also feel anxious driving them in my car (which is something that is expected in the role) however due to a car accident i had a few months ago, I'm a lot more anxious on the road, and especially anxious when I have a passenger for whom I'm supposed to be looking after. I also have a second job working in retail which is ideal since it is at a store i really love and really close to home, however I don't have guaranteed shifts; i can work 3 hours one week, and then 20 the next.
As for a dream job, I couldn't even tell you. I have no idea what I want. I guess ideally I'd love to be my own boss, but boss of what? This is something I need to figure out.
At this current stage I am waiting for a callback from Headspace counselling so I can see a therapist. I have dealt with medication in the past and I would like to avoid going down that path until I have tried all other routes.

[blondguy]

Hello ppaige

Its great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue forum family!

You are strong.....It takes inner strength to post on the forums which is to your credit. I didnt have your strength when I joined in 2016

Being a disability support worker can be hard work...especially if we are fragile to begin with

I see an amazing proactive person that wants to be a part of the workforce...and good on you ppaige! Responsibility can be a heavy load when we might not be up for it....at this time...

Headspace are very kind and caring people....Excellent! There are also our friends at kidshelpline that have super caring counsellors available 24/7...(I know you are an adult ppaige) yet they are non judgmental and available on 1800 55 1800 for young people up to 25 that are 'stuck'

Please dont be so hard on yourself...most young people are still 'finding themselves' at 23 🙂

Can I ask if you have a good GP that you can 'vent/talk too'?

my kind thoughts

Paul

[ppaige]

thanks for your kind words, I appreciate it.

I have an excellent GP but right now it is hard to speak with her; she is an hour away, and will not take face-to-face bookings at this time. I guess I can speak to her over the phone but I am a lot more fond of speaking with her in person. May have to try and sort something out.