Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Stepmother hates me and is ruining my relationship with my dad

replies: 5

My dad and I used to be so close, we would hang out every day, but when my parents split up and my dad started seeing my stepmum i started to see him less and less. Partially because she obviously disliked me, because he didn't make an effort anymore, and because I never felt welcome in that house. They both moved to a different city and now i see him twice a year at most. about 4 months ago I was staying at my dads house and coincidentally my mum (who is the kindest, loveliest person ever) was also in the city with my stepfather. I had been up all night because I had a bad cold and couldn't breathe, my dad and stepmum were at work and so I called my mum because I was still struggling so hard to breathe. She got an uber to my dads house and sat with me while we waited for an ambulance to come. When we arrived at the hospital they did so many tests and found out that I had pneumonia and bronchitis. My dad didn't bother to leave work early, but came to the hospital to sit with me. The whole time he was on his phone and when I asked him why he said that my stepmum was very angry that my mum had been in her house. She did not care nor did she ask how I was, she was furious that when I was so unwell and couldn't reach her or my dad, I asked for my mum to come and help me. That is ridiculous and hurtful. I was released from hospital at 8pm that night and went back to my dads house. on the way home my dad said that because my stepmum was so angry, she probably wouldn't come out of her room to see me. This really is a depiction of her as a person; really couldn't give a damn about me, just herself. So I laid down to rest and I heard them fighting. My stepmother called my mum a B*tch that spreads lies about her and said that she hated my sister and I. I didn't want to be in that house so I left and sat on the curb crying. my dad followed me out and drove me to my mums hotel room. she never said sorry for the awful things she said about my mum and my sister. My mother always encouraged me to have a good relationship with my stepmum and tried to help me see things from my stepmoms side when I would get upset about something. My stepmum said horrible things about my family and didn't care at all that I was unwell. I don't think she was sorry for what she said I just think she's sorry that I heard her. My dad has tried to get me to reconcile with her but I don't know if i want to. But im scared that if i don't I will lose any relationship I have with my dad.

Grandpa's alzheimer's and my dyslexia (and dyscalculia) in school

replies: 1

this is a bit heavy but. my grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a year ago or so and he has only gotten worse. His medication is not working anymore and he has become more violent. this is not my grandpa it's not the same man I grew up with. I feel scared for my grandma. she has become afraid of him. he threatened to kill her if she put him in a nursing home and I think she is slowing starting to become less and less mentally well. Don't worry there are people around who are investigating how violent he is, things are being done. this has put lots of pressure on my mum since she is an only child and is the only one who can take care of them and i miss my old grandpa and I want to help but I feel so useless. this happened just before my exams and now I'm sitting in my final year and feel like I can't go to school now. I'm so tired of being tired. as you can imagine this impacted my grades and now I am feeling even more powerless as I have my exams result back. My dyslexia and dyscalculia have always been an insecurity of mine but now it's even more powerful as one of my teachers told me what I hear every time "your ideas are good it's just getting them on paper." I'm so tired of having to keep this inside and worrying whether I'm a burden on others. (sorry I just needed to rant)

When I don't wanna give up thought get toxic!

replies: 2

Why is it hard to leave a place or situation even though I know it's hurting me each day! I always said to myself I don't wanna give up easily and kept on getting hurt and said "Yay! at least I didn't give up!!". And trying to justify the situation a... View more

Need some help on staying positive

replies: 1

Hi Before i start talking, I'm not writing this to invoke pity on myself, I'm just trying to get stuff of my chest and hopefully make myself feel better. This year has been a drag for me. I started to get really down around mid April to July, a lot of it due to University. I've always been the shy, awkward kid that doesn't talk to many people and doesn't have many or any real friends at all, and nothing changed in uni but it becoming more evident. I've been feeling incredibly lonely and its like walking around a place you don't belong for 12 hours a week and then repeating it for 12 weeks. I've struggled to make friends, and the isolation has had its toll. It all hit its climax, when I started bombing courses and ended up failing one of my units. Ironically this made it a bit more tolerable, as I focused more on my studies for the next semester, but now that the break has come, the negative thoughts are starting to return. Going into this break, I hyped myself telling myself, that I would find a new job, be committed to the gym and get revise up on material for next year, but two weeks in and it has been the complete opposite, the absolute worst actually. I've been incredibly lazy, tired and every time I stuff up, I just become more negative and more pessimistic. I've been skipping the gym simply for waking up a bit late, and recently I forgot that I had work and didn't turn up. It just seems that I keep making mistakes after mistake and mistake and I'm feeling really hopeless. I understand fully that I'm mostly to blame for all these problems, but I've become less and less optimistic in my ability to improve myself and starting to think that this is who I am in general. My thoughts have becoming more and more negative and I posted this just to get stuff out of my head. I would appreciate any advice if anyone's got any.

Uneventful and Unfulfilling Life - am I wasting my life away?

replies: 3

Hey guys! This is my first post. So basically, over the last half of the year my life has gotten progressively uneventful. I've been spending my weekdays basically just doing homework. And then my weekend consists of either lying in bed on my laptop or doing homework. And this just feels so unfulfilling. I feel like I'm wasting my life away and I also feel more and more lonely because I just spend my time alone. And whenever I ask if any of my friends want to do something they're busy. And so I guess what I want advice on is how can I make myself do more things? I mean I read articles and all they say is to walk, or bake or do other hobbies but this still doesn't work. How can I start going out more with other people? Like how can I ask them to do more things with me? Or what things can I do to make my life more interesting? Because at the moment the only really significant thing in my life is school which just leaves me feeling so sad. The thing is I have friends, but no best friends if that makes sense. Is there a way I can reach out to more people? If I'm honest, my ideal goal would just to have a best friend who I can see all the time and randomly text and go out with. I feel like that's a bit much to ask for but thats just to put it all into context I guess. Since the summer holidays are coming up, this is a chance to do more things so can you please give me suggestions? Because if I don't do things, I think I might spend the summer feeling lonely and sad at home. Also, if any of you have gone through this how did you change things? Thanks for reading it means a lot

Young and Alone

replies: 2

I’m new here. When I got on this forum, I started typing up a storm about how alone and depressed I am. I really just started ranting about my whole life story, even going past the word limit. But I realised that I’m sure a lot of you have heard it all before. So, I'll just start with the heart of the matter, I’m very very afraid. I'm afraid of where my life is heading. I'm afraid of dying alone I'm afraid that I will never know the happiness and joy of loving someone and being loved. I'm afraid that I will never experience the happiness and memories of real friendships I'm 21 years old. I have no real friends. Despite really trying to seek out new relationships, I feel that I can never solidify anything meaningful. I don't know what to do, or where to go, or who to talk to. I've never had any social safety net in my life, and I really don't think I can handle it much longer...

i feel so much that i feel nothing and it's ruined my life for the past 3 years.

replies: 4

I'm so tired of it. It hurts, it hurts so much that it doesn't. Right now, typing this, I don't feel depressed or anxious or anything of the sort. I've had quite a pleasant week actually. But I don't feel genuinely happy either, or optimistic or content. I don't know if it makes sense.. but it's like I'm depressed without quite feeling depressed. Like my mind has closed itself of those thoughts for most of the time, but they're still there. Like right now, typing this, I can feel some of the depressive thoughts lingering in my mind, they're present but still kind of hidden. I find it so hard to verbalise them out loud or even into writing. Sometimes something triggers one of those depressive thoughts I have locked away, and I find myself crying and actually feeling depressed. But as soon as that moment's gone, the thought locks itself up again. I think the reason I've blocked all of my negative thoughts in my mind is because I'm sick of it.They're all thoughts and feelings I've had before and I feel frustrated that I still haven't kicked them to the curb. I'm not surprised though- I should've kept going to my psychologist, I should've asked for help sooner, I should've prioritised good eating and exercising habits... but here we are. I'm determined to get back on track but I'm disheartened because this isn't the first time I've had to "get back on track". I know life is basically a series of messing up and then getting yourself back together again and again, but I'm 17 and I haven't lived properly for a good couple or so years. Every year for the past 3 years, I've experienced a tough patch- a good 3-4 months of the year spent with severe anxiety and depression. Both 2018 and this year, that tough patch has lasted for maybe even half the year. I honestly feel like I've lived more than half of the past 3 years in darkness. And you have no idea how badly I want to live in the light, to be happy, to see beautiful places and meet wonderful people. I want to go on adventures, face fears, achieve great things. But I'm always just waiting for that day where things fall back into place, that day that I wake up and realise the solution to my problems. I'm sick of waiting. I want to go out there and get my life back.. but I don't even know where to start.

can i have depression for no reason?

replies: 1

Hi, so i took a test on whether or not i have depression and anxiety. it says i've got both, but im not actually sure if i can have depression because i dont actually have anything that could have triggered my depression or anything. i get somewhat good grades, both my parents are together, i have friends. but then i just get those random days where i want to be alone and cry or i just dont feel like talking to anyone. And i start to think that my friends dont like me and they are sick of me and that no one wants to be my friend or hang out with me. I think i'm just one of those people that like to be told that i'm pretty or needs consent reassurance or whatever. its like i pull myself away from everyone and im lost in my head, where im just not myself and feel low? I sometimes have trouble breathing in class and my hands start to shake a little, and i feel completely anxious and like i'm a failure. Once i completely just sobbed one night before dinner, i couldn't breath and i felt dizzy and ran to the bathroom and sat on the floor and cried. I feel too scared to talk to anyone because i seem completely happy on the outside and i feel like if i tell anyone what i'm feeling they'll think i just want attention. I don't know if this means anything either but i always feel the need to gulp and i searched it up and it said because of anxiety and stress is this true? thanks, i know this is pretty random

I can't accept my mum's relationships

replies: 5

My parents have been divorced for 5 years now, since I was in primary school and my brother was in preschool. At first, everything was fine. We both stayed in my mum's custody and went to see my dad one night a week and every second weekend. Both my parents moved on quite quickly, both getting partners in the first year of being divorced. My dad's only girlfriend, who is now his wife, is kind, caring, beautiful and I really love her. However, my mum has had 6 relationships since the divorce, 2 being very serious and long term. Ever since her first relationship I have never been extremely comfortable with her partners coming over, or us going on holidays/road trips as a "family". But in the beginning it wasn't that bad, I would get upset or uncomfortable, but that's about it. However, as each relationship went by, I grew more and more anxious, upset, angry, nervous, worried, uncomfortable and confused all at the same time whenever they came over for dinner or we would go to their house. It's now gotten to the point where whenever we are at my dad's house and I just think about my mum with her boyfriend I get anxious and angry. But it doesn't make sense. All of her boyfriends have been kind and caring people, but I still feel this way around them. It's also gotten to the point where I feel I am ruining her life. Nowadays, she has been in her current relationship for nearly 2 years and I'm pretty sure she is considering marriage. The only thing stopping them is me. Every time her boyfriend comes over for dinner, I isolate myself in my room and most times just cry or feel all the above emotions but in extreme versions. And when I find out he is sleeping over, I slam my door, cry profusely and can't sleep. At first, when my mum saw me upset, she always told me it's just a change and I will get over it. But after 5 years of me not being able to breathe when they are around, and it getting worse every day, I don't think I'm ever going to get over it. Eventually, I drive her boyfriend out of the house as he feels bad, and then I just hear my mum sobbing in her room, and it just makes me feel like I'm a burden and the worst daughter in the world, but I can't help it. I try to stay calm and talk to him, but when I try I just feel everything again but even worse and I storm off. My brother has been fine with all her relationships, and that just makes me feel even worse. How can he be younger than me but still accept him? Why can't I just be normal and accept him?

hello

replies: 3

hi everyone, im new to the forums and im here because i told myself i should probably go get help. its not too bad of a problem but thanks if you read through it i dont really know where to start. for a while now ive lost motivation to do anything and ive gotten pretty lazy. its gotten really bad to the point where im failing a class because i didnt do homework. i often yell at myself a lot. the other day i sat in front of the bathroom mirror and cried and yelled at myself about how im so useless and why i always ruin everything. i yell at myself for every little mistake. i made a huge mistake at the start of the year and whenever i think about it i just cry. i cry until i convince myself im weak for crying and eventually i just go back on my phone and pretend nothing happened. a lot of it has to do with people having high expectations of me. ive just given up. i just dont know i dont know anymore i dont know what to write

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Stepmother hates me and is ruining my relationship with my dad replies: 5

Grandpa's alzheimer's and my dyslexia (and dyscalculia) in school replies: 1

When I don't wanna give up thought get toxic! replies: 2

Need some help on staying positive replies: 1

Uneventful and Unfulfilling Life - am I wasting my life away? replies: 3

Young and Alone replies: 2

i feel so much that i feel nothing and it's ruined my life for the past 3 years. replies: 4

can i have depression for no reason? replies: 1

I can't accept my mum's relationships replies: 5

hello replies: 3