Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Constant Worrying

replies: 2

Hi I am 21 and I have GAD I am constantly worrying about everything from friends to boys to relationships. At the start of this year i went through serious issues with a male resulting in being played and used and lied too etc .My best friend also turned her back on me leading me to have serious trust issues.I also now freak out and worry about anything that comes to boys and friends worried they are going to turn on me or play me which leads me to self sabotage and push them away espeically males which i am doing now pushing one away not thinking im good enough and will be played and nothing will work out . anyone else have this issue??

Feels like I'm an extra in a movie about my life

replies: 5

Hi All, First time posting and I made this account just because I need some help. Also, this going to be a long one so get comfy. A little bit of background about me first; A few years ago I went through about 30months of severe depression and anxiety, I have been hospitalized and have had treatment for my illnesses. Since mid last year I have been in remission and have been living a great life with only a few minor hiccups along the way. A little more personal but I am a promising young athlete with lots of potential (or so I've been told). I also have a good group of friends and a great career/life in general. Anyway, this last month has been very difficult and I don't understand why. I seem to have everything going for me but I still feel terrible. It's hard to explain without getting to specific but I'd say I just feel so lonely, all the time. Now, since I have had treatment in the past I've been actively trying to go out and see friends and socialise to try and combat these feelings but I still find myself feeling utterly alone, even in the direct company of my friends. I had a very hurtful experience as well where I invited roughly 10~ of my friends over to my house, they all had a great time but only one person had a conversation with me. I just sat there, in the middle of everything, completely unacknowledged and ignored, in my own home for my own hang that I had arranged. I'm also finding that even in the company of my friends I no longer enjoy their presence and I want them to leave. I just feel like I don't have anything in common with them anymore, and I don't know why. So now my lonely thoughts are telling me to find new friends, so I've jumped on to some of those meet apps But alas, zero responses over weeks of trying and it's just so demoralizing. I just feel abandoned but I deserve it because I had 'outgrown' my friends? Anyways, this loneliness is now starting to effect my career and I'm not performing as well, which is only reinforcing those feelings of deserving to be isolated and that I'm a failure. And now having those other factors of my life that I used to rely on become unsteady I'm starting to question everything I do and my self-worth is plummeting everyday. I'm going to stop the monologue there before I get too specific but hopefully you get the gist. Anyone got ideas/things I could look into?

i hate myself

replies: 55

i genuinely hate myself. there is not one thing i like about the way i look, what i can do or my personality. i do musical theatre, which a few years ago was something i thought would be great for confidence and since i loved singing, but it made me realise how bad i am. i cant stop comparing myself to my friends and just constantly feel worthless. when the topic of self love starts up i just want to cry because ive tried so hard to change but i cant love myself for who i am. musical theatre and singing was something i was once interested in but now hate doing but i cant quit because without it ill have no friends. plus, ive always had a difficult time making friends so ive already gone to a psychologist about it and moved schools within the past few months. i just dont know what to do but if i show any sign of doubting myself, people think im attention seeking when i cant help it. i practically now use it as sarcastic humour to hide my true feelings and how i just want to breakdown. why am i not good enough? why couldnt i have been anyone else? i just constantly feel useless, irrelevant and ugly

Struggling between choosing my mum or dad :(

replies: 3

Hi everyone, im I 15 years old and when I was 7 years old my nana got parental responsibility over me and my dad and mum got visitation rights. Ever since my nana has allowed my mum to still live with us even after taking out an AVO against her and immediately ignoring it. She and my mum absolutely hate my dad and the fact that I still see him on saturdays. The fact is I really like my dad, he has 2 kids and a really nice wife and he genuinely wants me to succeed. My nana constantly puts me down and sometimes is nice but the problem is i have a feeling she’s very toxic. Recently while I’m at school I feel the need to make sure I call her once during the school to make sure she’s not mad at me or in a bad mood for when I get home. I’m really not sure what to do, she also banned me from doing school debating and extra curriculars because she says I can wait until I’m 16. On top of this I got a job offer which she supported until I actually got it and made fun of me for it and called the manager behind my back declining the offer. Do you think this is because she likes having control? My mum still lives with us and whenever she drunk she always blames nana for making her the way she is. Anyway next year I choose where I live and I want to choose my dad but I’ve lived her with my nana my whole life and she often says really awful things about me and even though I don’t believe them it scares me that I might go from one bad situation to a worse one. I’m genuinely scared as I’m also not allowed to study very often for school and I have to clean first or do something for her. For some reason I still love her with all my heart and sometimes she can be nice I’m just really confused right now and I never feel safe and at the moment my future is scaring me because she and my mum have no interests in my grades or future and laughed at me for wanting to do nursing. I would really appreciate some advice right now because things are getting worse and I wanted to get my medication changed but she told my doctor I’m fine which I’m not.

Another breakup

replies: 2

My girlfriend of (nearly) three years and I are breaking up. We have had several discussions before regarding things like money, getting a place together and what we want to do in the future. She doesn't have savings and I have been trying to tell her that she needs to learn to save money so that if we get a place together we can both contribute to bills and living expenses so that we don't have the bottom out of our pants. I am careful with my money and I understand how hard it is, I don't think she understands how important saving and working together is. I tried to explain my point of view as honestly as I could, but she ended up telling me she "misses me when she thinks of me but when we see each other she doesn't feel anything anymore", and she wants to travel. We've been together nearly three years and we have traveled a bit together which was fun, but I told her we need to knuckle down and start thinking about the future. I am 25 and in five years I will be a thirty year old man. I want a home together, I want a life and I want us both to be happy, but I think she has changed this year. We took so much time apart because I was studying and working so much and we couldn't see each other, we couldn't even talk every night because I was so flat out trying to grind it out and get my certificate to get ready for 2020. I told her I am not interested in anyone else, I just want to work real hard in the next few years so that we could get our own place and make good on the things that we spoke about when we were travelling and still in that honeymoon phase. I just don't know what to do, I feel so lost have been holding in my emotions at home as well as at work around family and colleagues. I am not angry at all, I am just so disappointed and upset that everything we said we wanted won't be now. I don't have any friends and the only member of my family that speaks to me is my mother. We don't see eye to eye on everything but she's actually a good person and I'm glad I have her. I am so sick of this though, this is my second breakup in the last five years. My last breakup was after someone that I was seeing in another city and she was just after "fun time" and didn't want a future with me at all. This second relationship lasted a lot longer but now it is over and I blame myself. I am sorry for being so busy studying and working, I am just trying to put myself in a position where we could have some security and I could land a better job than what I have.

New Person, I need help (with my life)

replies: 4

Hi People of Beyond Blue Im going to start with a little bit about me. 3 years ago i was in an abusive relationship both phys and ment, i have divorced parents, and sometimes really bad anxiety. I’ve been working for 3 years now and only became full-time about 1.5 years ago as a hairdressing apprentice. My first workplace was disastrous to say the least. I am now at a fairly good salon, an hour drive from where i live. I am in a beautiful relationship with my Best Friend that i’ve been friends with since we were 11. I hate coming home as I just do not get along well with my Dad. This may be confusing to read, but i’ve found in the last year or so I’ve been quite sad and my mental health playing up like nothing else. As bad as it sounds I feel like I was happier with my abusive boyfriend more than i am now with my best friend. My ex and I, putting aside the bad stuff, used to do everything together, and I mean everything. We used to have a good friend group and be a little rebellious at school. We used to listen to music on the weekends and vibe through life. My current partner just came out of year 12 and this year has been hard on us both. I feel like i can’t get out of the “just be sad” mental state. it’s almost like i’m looking for things to go wrong and i don’t know why? My partner and i always said that once he’s done with school, things will get better. But it’s hard to know if it will. I feel crazy, one day i’ll be a mess and say things to mess us both up then for a split hour i’ll apologise and realise how crazy i’ve become. And that repeats over and over. I used to be so happy and grateful for everything in life despite my abuse and anxiety. I used to have fun but now I feel like i’m missing out while i’m full time working and everyone i know is on break until they begin only part-time uni next year. I don’t know if i’m really ready to be working and i dont know if i should be back on medication for my anxiety, which can become dangerous for me as i get sad also. I don’t know how to re-train my brain to be the way i used to be, so happy and grateful. i want to give my partner the love and kindness that he gives to me but i just spiral out of control and go against myself. I want to move out, can’t. I’m a mess. This probably makes no sense, it doesn’t flow, i’ve always been bad at that (English Class yikes) but if you do take your time to read this I love you for it and just wish for some second hand advice i suppose. Thankyou, DreamCatcher17

Can’t sleep

replies: 2

Hi, I’ve been having this problem for a while... but whenever I try to go to sleep, I start thinking of all the bad times in my life or memories I would like to forget forever. Sometimes I get so scared and stressed and I start crying and shaking, I ... View more

Career and mental health

replies: 3

Hey everyone, I just wanted to share my experience with work, and hopefully take out some advice. I'm 20 years old and working at fast food, and I absolutely hate it. The work is so fast-paced (as with everything, anyway. but more so in fast food.). I come to work and immediately uncover my incompetence in even the simplest of tasks. I'm never at ease, I do my best to conform to expectations; I feel like I'm trying to be someone else that i'm not. Coming to work also reminds me of my failures, the reason why I ended up working there in the first place. Also, everyone else there is evidently more intelligent than myself, they're all going to uni and/or working towards their grander ambition, while I'm there because I feel like its the least I can do with my lack of direction in life. I can't reiterate enough how much I hate working there. It's so depressing its not even funny. I really want to quit, and I think thats reasonable. I'm anxious going about it. I really don't want to come to work, honestly, I don't even know if I can take it anymore. I feel like I can't do anything but just not turn up, though I'm afraid of the repercussion that might occur i.e getting fired and the company putting in a bad word for me for my next employment. I guess what I'm trying to ask of you guys is- Has anyone ever been fired for the same reason or a reason alike or even had any issues with work because of mental illness(es). How do you overcome it? Or how would you even go about it? Thanks everyone, Alex

Career advice

replies: 1

Hi there everyone. I’m 24 and feeling anxious about my current career path, especially while feeling stressed out under my current living conditions. Currently I work retail part time and studying a masters of social work. I have always had a passion for mental health and wanting to help other. I have three years left in my course. However, I also live at home with a home life that often stresses me out and brings me down. I think moving out would be highly beneficial for me, but with my current employment it feels impossible to do so. I’m feeling at stalemate with myself. Do I quit my course to pursue a full time job so I can leave home sooner. Or do I just find another way to assist in dealing with it.

Sleep anxiety

replies: 6

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting in a beyond blue forum so I'm a little apprehensive about it all, but for the last week or so I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. I get so worked up about getting enough sleep and being able to function properly the next day that I end up becoming incredibly anxious, which in turn prevents me from falling and staying asleep in the process, leaving me exhausted and miserable the next day. I've also been feeling quite depressed for a few months now and these feelings seem to be exacerbated by my sleep deprivation, and I feel like it's forming a really bad cycle. I've also noticed that when I'm trying to fall asleep I do this thing where I'm hyper conscious of my thoughts and I try to control them in order to fall asleep. I have began to monitor my thoughts meticulously throughout the day now and am conscious of everything I do as well, so much so that I don't even know how I normally think anymore. It's almost like I've lost the ability to go into auto-pilot mode and I am somehow too aware of being conscious if that makes sense. I just feel like lately everything has been getting on top of me to the point where I don't even feel like myself anymore. I tried organising an appointment to see a counsellor at uni and have been unable to get in until the 18th of May, so in the meantime I'm really just not sure what I can do...

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Constant Worrying replies: 2

Feels like I'm an extra in a movie about my life replies: 5

i hate myself replies: 55

Struggling between choosing my mum or dad :( replies: 3

Another breakup replies: 2

New Person, I need help (with my life) replies: 4

Can’t sleep replies: 2

Career and mental health replies: 3

Career advice replies: 1

Sleep anxiety replies: 6