Young people

Pinned discussions

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

i need help

replies: 2

Idk how to start this but I am an 18 year old with autism and adhd along with depression, learning disablities and anxiety. These abnormalities are ruining my satisfaction with life and I'm always depressed. I find it hard to understand other people and their emotions and I usually avoid socializing with others because of this. My facebook recently got terminated which made me go into a manic state because that's one of the only places I feel accepted, I'm part of a weird side of facebook where nobody knows each other irl and we all share "edgy" and esoteric memes and most of are mentally ill, kinda like the dark web of fb. I enjoy being a part of this tight knit community since I feel they understand me better than normal people do. I've had accounts deleted before and sometimes it's been months after I made an account and it's usually entirely random. I also struggle with the effects of my ADHD and I'll usually walk for hours on end or pace around my unit, I find it hard to concentrate on anything and I struggled at school because of this, to the point I ended up dropping out. My medications don't seem to help much and I'm too scared to tell my psychiatrist to change them and every visit I just end up listening to his recommendations without any input of my own I feel so disconected from everyone due to my autism but also my esoteric and bizarre taste in online humor that most people who aren't a part of the side of the internet I usually dwell wouldn't quite get. This sounds silly but the internet is a very large part of my self identity and I wouldn't be the same person without I'm also a very self conscious and insecure person about every aspect of myself an I hate being criticised for my actions and the insecurities are so severe to the point where I avoid leaving the house during the day and end up staying home and sleeping What I'm basically asking for is some advice on how to cope with having disorders that make me very different from other people and live my life the best way possible

dealing with unpleasant memories

replies: 2

Hi, I do not want to say any specific things, but I have some unpleasant memories. These memories make me feel guilty, scared, panicked and drives me crazy. It's been almost a year since the incidents that gave me these memories, I'm fine at most times, but whenever I remember, I feel out of breath and scared. When I am distracted I feel normal, but whenever I'm alone in the dark or when I see something that relates to the incident I get triggered and feel horrible. I do not have suitable people to talk to about this, and I am not sure if it would even help. I have friends who has the same experience, but they do not seem troubled at all, while I'm here feeling super guilty and panicked whenever I remember about the incidents. So I cannot talk to them. I do not know what to do, simply distract myself? But I cannot distract myself forever, and I cannot forget about anything that happened. I do not know how to deal with these memories, please give me some advice.

Need a little advice

replies: 5

This year has been a bit of a difficult one for me and I've been upset none stop for a while now I'm not sure how to stop feeling so awful. I don't know how to go speak to someone and the idea of it seems weird to me. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis, I thought I handled the news well but recently I've been getting upset about it and keep overthinking everything now. I have also had problems with friends or my lack of friends. I lost a close friend. D roommate this year due to a very long story that his new girlfriend decided she hated me and would ignore my presence even though we lived in the same house. She has since moved out but obviously because shes still dating someone I know I continue to see her and she's very rude when I do and she insists of socially excluding me and standing in front of me and blatantly ignoring me and people see this but don't really acknowledge or tell her how rude it is but will tell me that they disagree with her behaviour but just tell me to ignore it and pretend it doesn't bother me but I'm finding it harder and harder for it to not get to me. Why do people see something wrong,recognise its wrong but not do anything about it. One of my only friends moved in with her and they are obviously very close and I can't help but feel isolated again because I'm not allowed over to the house and my friend says that her thoughts of me don't affect her and she still wants to be my friend and that she believes the girl is being very childish and rude but won't tell her that and won't invite me in because she's concerned about upsetting her new roommate but doesn't consider how it might make me feel. What should I do? How can I stop feeling shitty when I see her and how can I tell my friend that her room mate is a manipulator when she's very fond of her because they haven't known each other well for very long?

Partner suddenly packed her things and left

replies: 2

So my partner of 2 and a half years suddenly packed her things and left me and wouldn’t communicate what was going on. 2 weeks ago I’ve noticed she had been working strenuous hours at her work for me supporting ember stress with outings together and spa days for her. Thursday she began saying she felt like she had let me down because she had been working such long hours and by the time she was home I was asleep and she would leave early morning before I was awake. She voiced she was confused with what she wanted to do with her uni and career and was a bit confused overall, throughout this whole time she was reassuring saying not to worry about us we just need to reconnect. Friday night I asked if she wanted to go on a date night together and she was happy to do this, it wasn’t until later that day she decided to go for a drink with her sister instead. Saturday she seemed a lot better after her gym session we went shopping together and got her pre gifts and presents for Christmas that’s she wanted so things seemed fine and again she was saying stop worrying about us we just need to reconnect over the holidays. Same night she left to babysit at her bosses place and stayed with them (friends for over 8 years) she packed some things and said she would let me know if she would be home. It wasn’t until 12am I messaged to see if everything’s okay that she replied she wasn’t coming home. Sunday she was at her mum and dads for the day and again she reassured me that morning to stop worrying about why would she give something so special up between us. That’s afternoon she called me and said she was grabbing her stuff and moving out to stay with her parents. when she came by her parents and her boss from work arrived to take her stuff away, she could barely speak to me and would not communicate with me at all with what was going on. Her parents or her boss could barely speak or look at me and I’m left with so many questions not answered. All I have been told is give her time and after she grabbed her things she took us off her socials etc. I just don’t know what happened why would she reassure me of everything and say we just reconnect then suddenly pack up and leave, when we first met I told her my insecurities in a relationship etc and she had always said that communication is important and how not to give up and work together etc. Just feel everything has been contradicted and I’m feeling so lost and don’t know what to do

my boyfriend’s depression is driving me mad

replies: 1

the title makes me sound like an awful person. honestly, i really think i may be. first off, this boy and i are not dating officially; we both decided we were not in the right head space for a relationship but have basically ended up in a relationship anyway. we are both 16-17 and struggling with our own lives. i don’t know how much detail is needed but we’ve gone through a lot together. in the past year, however, his depression has really really gone to shit. he struggles with his family and is drinking every night that he can, stealing out of his parents’ cellar. i hate it when he’s drunk and made him promise over and over to stop drinking but he’s never kept a single one. we’ve had too many arguments about his drinking, and i’ve recently gone from mildly annoyed to completely furious when it happens. even more recently, he’s turned to self harm. i realise that my immediate response to this is to call the cops and/or tell his parents. but every time, he’s done it when i’ve had no access to wifi. the first time he did it, he promised to not do it again, except he broke that promise too. every time it happens, all i do is cry and seethe after. our online chat history is 60% memes and 40% fighting. i hate it. he is inconsolable when he is in a depressive episode; if i tell him that smth is not his fault he will question it over and over til i get mad and then he drops it. i feel like it’s reached a point where our relationship is rlly toxic. the thing is, he’s never once gotten upset at me for my breakdowns. he’s stayed with me through the lowest of lows and right now i can’t stand him even when i know his life is not easy. i cant lose him. not even in a obsessive teenage romance way but in that he is one of the only things that keep me going. but i don’t want to always be mad about something that i cant control. i know i’m in the wrong and i really don’t know what to do. am i being a horrible person? how do i stop getting mad? or should we take a break and get some space from each other?

Confused about the future

replies: 1

I’m 23. Just finished my four year degree at university. I should be excited to get out and start my career but I’m not. I’m feeling pressure from so many angles. I just want to run away from it all and not do any of it anymore but I care too much about what other people think. They are going to judge me for not getting a job straight away. They will think I’m bad at my work but I just don’t know what I want to do yet. I just feel like I need more time but that’s not an option. Any advice?

Body, Anxiety and Depression

replies: 2

When I was in primary school, I began to realize that I started to look different from a lot of the other girls, I started to gain weight and because of it I became quiet, awkward and embarrassed. I'm now in grade 11 in high school and it has gotten worse. I'm so embarrassed by the way I look, about my weight and about what others think of me that I have stopped bringing food to school because i don't want anyone to judge me, so on week days the only thing I eat is dinner. Every time I look in the mirror I cry or feel like it. About a month ago, i tried to learn to love myself but recently I ended up finding it really difficult because my best friend for 5 years is leaving me for other gorgeous, skinny, flawless people, making me feel worthless by comparison. Before she left me I noticed that she would never want to hang out with me which left me to assume that she is embarrassed to be seen with me. For a long time I've been feeling scared and worried to do a lot of things, things as simple as leaving the house or going to school. In some other events, I fidget a lot, sweat, can't focus/zone out, occasionally shake and i'm constantly worried. I always think this is anxiety but i can't be sure because I have not been tested for it as my mum will not let me. I always feel terrible about myself as I implied earlier and everything i do always seems useless, i'm worried that because of this I've developed depression, but once again, my mum will not allow me to get tested for it. I don't really know what to do about any of this and I would really love some suggestions on what i should, how i can make changes. I would also like to know if anyone else who has had any of these problems and how you've overcome them, thank you.

help?

replies: 2

im 15 and i have a guy friend whos 18. i might be starting to catch feelings but im not sure. so pretty much we talk a lot and i know hes having a hard time so i give up my time, risk getting in trouble (extremley strict controlling parents) but whenever im down it feels like he doesnt care and he doesnt do anything. there was a time when he used to care a lot but now im realising hes not the best friend i could have but for some reason im so attached so every little thing he does hurts me so much. i always wait for his replies and when he does i get soe xcited. i think hes down hes been rlly off lately like dry and says he wants to isolate himself but sometimes idk if he realises but the stuff he says amkes me feel so hurt and i get he might not want to talk but i only want to talk t him. ik that if he makes me feel bad i should stop but i cant. fyi this isnt a sexual realtionship at all ever. Also for some reason even though i have good girl friends i prefer to be around guys but i dont want people to think the wrong thing idk i just want some advice or something

Dealing with depression and a long term relationship ending

replies: 5

Hi all, First time to the forums, I have hit rock bottom! Feeling so alone and worthless at the moment and not sure how to get back to being myself. For context I am 25, studying my masters online and have always struggled with depression, I am on antidepressants which work great most of the time. About 6 months ago my partner of 6 years moved to start a new job and I got very depressed living alone (in the middle of nowhere, limited social circles and was just at home studying). This lead to my partner doubting if me moving in with him in his new house was the right move. And so we broke up. I have moved back in with my parents as I did not see another option. They have been great but I am still not doing so well. Recently my ex partner has been diagnosed with Cancer and has pushed me away even more, up until this point we both talked about getting back together. I am feeling so alone, and worthless. I feel I have not achieved anything in my life! I am feeling rejected and like I will never find someone again. I know that one day I will be ok but right now I am feeling so down! Hope this makes sense I am a bit all over the place at the moment !

I have reached rock bottom

replies: 10

Im a 24 year old male and since approximately 6 years my mental health has progressively been declining to the point where I have been suffering serious depression which of late has really taken control of my body. To provide a little context, my childhood was okay but not great. My parents were together until I was 18 but they should have divorced a long time before... they resented each other and constantly fought, and my father was never much of a father figure at all. They finally divorced not long after I finished high school, which was hardly a shock for me. But I think the whole ordeal and childhood has affected me quite a lot and given me quite bad abandonment and commitment issues as well as a lot of built up anger. Separately, I had always dreamed of becoming a pilot for my career. This is all I wanted to do since I was a child. I went to do my aviation medical with my dad at the end of year 12 but I failed over the most insignificant thing which was blown completely out of proportion by my father. I was stressed from that point as I had to very quickly (in the space of a few days) pick something else to study, but I didn't really have any proper backups as Aviation was all I wanted to do. I picked Geology, and completed the degree but absolutely hated it. I have been working in the industry for 3 years now and absolutely hate it. All I can think about is Aviation, and it just feels like i'm in this job because I was forced to. Thirdly, I am a bisexual guy going through quite a bad identity crisis. I thought I was comfortable in my own skin but i'm really questioning that now. It is really causing me quite serious anxiety. I have been in multiple short relationships which never seem to progress to anything serious because I can never fully open up and commit (a protection mechanism??), but I seriously cannot handle any more rejection. I was recently dumped for my poor communication skills, and I have so much regret. I know I should have opened up more. I really don't know what to do any more. I have reached rock bottom, and i'm only 24. I feel completely lost. If one thing in my life was going right, maybe my depression wouldn't be so bad but the fact is, I hate my job and have no idea what career to do and I ruin every relationship. I just feel like a complete failure of a person with no purpose and no positive prospects for the future. Have thought about quitting my job but I just don't know what I would do. Any advice is welcome. Cheers

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

i need help replies: 2

dealing with unpleasant memories replies: 2

Need a little advice replies: 5

Partner suddenly packed her things and left replies: 2

my boyfriend’s depression is driving me mad replies: 1

Confused about the future replies: 1

Body, Anxiety and Depression replies: 2

help? replies: 2

Dealing with depression and a long term relationship ending replies: 5

I have reached rock bottom replies: 10