Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Moving to new School Now I want to move back, should I ?

replies: 1

Hi i'm Jerome and i have recently just started year 11, i just moved into my nan's in the city from the western suburbs, since Christmas and i'm used to the house, but what i'm not used to is my new school I've moved to. Been here for 3 days and absolutely hate it its sucks because its such a small school and its is so so different to my old school, its full of students on visas and a lot of kids who cant talk English. This year also only has 30 kids in it and there basically no one . I also hate the teachers here as they seem to not care. Also in my last period yesterday i almost cried cause i feel so depressed I have the option to move back to my old school where i have friends and know all the teachers and get along but the thing is it takes me 1 Hr and 30 minutes to travel there by train every morning and afternoon is it worth it? and im not sure if i want to do my absolute best in atar as im not a hard studying student and was thinking of doing a trade So Should i Move back ?

Father who abandoned us wants to reconnect

replies: 3

Hi In short, I'm just about 18 and so about 8 years ago my biological father left my three siblings and I without contact. Recently, via his mum who we scarcely talk to, he sent us a brief message including apologies, sympathies, saying it wasn't our fault, telling us where he lives, etc.. My mum and he divorced ages ago. She remarried to a guy who I have seen as a parent for basically as long as I have known him. I don't have an issue with the need to have a 'father figure' in my life. All those years ago, the four of us saw him every second weekend. My siblings remember everything but I don't for a single thing and haven't for years so I am going off what they have said. Apparently he would 'take off' a lot without contact for as long as 6 weeks and wouldn't really look after us properly when we were with him. It turns out he was psychologically and sexually abusive to my mum when they were together when I was maybe 6 years old. He left this time 8 years ago and didn't make contact until about 2 years ago when my mum tried to get hold of him on behalf of us so that we could legally change our names (we wanted to). At the time before he left he had a girlfriend who didn't know he had children. He was also working a very high paying job at the time and, to the best of my knowledge, for years after, but did it in such a way to evade tax. He comes from a family who are highly manipulative. My eldest brother was greatly effected and ended up in hospital. Apparently I was sad for a few weeks and suddenly 'got better' at the time, but had an 18 month episode maybe two years ago triggered by minor stressors which closely resembled the actions of my father. I was majorly distressed for most of that time without an apparent reason but in hindsight I think I was having a delayed response to my father disappearing suddenly without knowing it. I AM curious but would never have any sort of relationship with him. My mum tells us she supports whatever we want to do collectively but obviously doesn't actually want us in contact with him, and has said that perhaps mere curiosity isn't a valid reason. I don't want to admit it but it does extend beyond curiosity. Apparently he used to be manipulative and so I should be cautious regarding my expectations. My older siblings haven't dedicated any time to discussing with my sister and I, so I do feel a bit stuck. Anything I decide to do also affects my myself, siblings and mother. Thoughts? Cheers R

I feel completely useless

replies: 1

I woke up this morning feeling worse than normal about myself mentally and ended up taking the day of work which definitely sounds really sooky so maybe I should have just gone, IDK. I just feel like the absolute worst human and have for a while so I wanted some advice please. I'm 21 and working a full time trainee ship at the moment and I just feel completely useless and like there's nothing i'm good at. Its like no matter how hard i'm trying, i'm always mediocre at best and always complete unforgettable as a person and it feels like it has always been that way. It kind of just feels like i'm an invisible person if that makes sense, i'm just a really boring person to the point that my best friend in high school told me she didn't like or enjoy hanging out with me. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to be less useless and annoying all the time. Its like i can't hold a conversation with people and I feel like even though i'm trying hard to have a proper conversation some times I come off as rude like i'm trying to cut it short. When i'm in a conversation with more than 1 other person I can barely every get a word in and it's frustrating. In work meetings if I get asked a question my mind completely goes blank, my face goes bright red and I physically can't get any words to come out of my mouth. I've really hated myself since i was 14, I talked to my friends about it for a bit but they said they were going to tell my parents about it so I told them I was feeling better and haven't talked to anyone about it since then. I don't what to talk to my family about it and I lost contact with my friends. After I graduated high school my family moved 3 hours away, we've been here since 2017 and I haven't made any friends yet. I do think i'd like to make some friends here but I get so anxious and scared about talking to people and I can't help but overthink everything, it's all so exhausting I really wish I could sleep forever. I don't know what to do, I feel overwhelmed by everything and like I never make the right decisions. I'm sorry if that was to many questions in one post, if anyone is able to decipher any of what I've written I would really love to receive some advice. Thank you.

Chronic illness is making me miss out on life.

replies: 4

I don't know if anyone here can relate but here goes. For the first 23 years of my life, I was normal. No pre-existing illnesses at all, going through my Uni degree, two years in, a wonderful partner. Life was good. Then a genetic migraine illness hit me and threw everything off. For the last year, I have been dealing with what is called vestibular migraines. They are migraines that can present with no pain, no sensitivity, no symptoms whatsoever so I can have one and not even know it. If my migraines go untreated, they then turn into symptoms of vertigo. At its worst, I couldn't even shower without feeling faint and dizzy. After trialling many different medications, I am now at one that semi does the job most of the time but I still get attacks. I am now to the point where I am too scared to leave my home form having an episode and whoever I'm with having to help me. I don't remember the last time I left the house without having to. I feel like I'm missing out on life semi due to my illness but now as well as the anxiety that comes from it. I'm now becoming jealous of my loved ones because they get to still be normal and do normal things. I don't hate them by any means and still love them dearly but I envy them with everything that I am. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone sort of knows what I'm going through and/or can offer any advice from a similar experience on how to get through this until I can hopefully find a permanent fix.

Isolation and Loneliness in High School; no friends.

replies: 2

I have posted on here before, and I guess this post is in a similar vein to the last, but I feel as though it warrants its own thread anyway. Essentially, I am in high school in Sydney, and have just begun Year 11. (I am aware that my username could imply otherwise, not sure why i picked it just thought it sounded alright haha) I get that maybe many of you will disregard this owing to my age and obvious immaturity, and I wouldn't blame you. But, at the moment, I feel as though I don't really have anywhere else to turn to other than you strangers on the internet, so here I am. I guess the gist of it is, I am totally isolated at school. I don't think I have any friends, I mean sure there are some people that I talk to regularly, but they seem to have begun to distance themselves from me since school began, and to be honest I was expecting this. Please do not assume that I have no friends from a lack of trying, it is quite the opposite actually. Over the 6 years I've been in high school now, I can count at least 7 instances where my friends have moved on from me, cut me out, and I was on my own. Now, previously, I would have just moved on and found friends, but now I just can't. There are only so many people in a year group, and I have truly exhausted my supply of potential friends. At the moment, I spend my lunchtimes by myself playing games and reading the news on my phone, I feel extraordinarily depressed, because I am not an introvert, I want to have friends, but people don't want me. I guess aside from venting what I wanted to ask people was does it get better? I know high school is often referred to as a bubble, but thing about bubbles is that you can't tell when you're in one. I suppose I just want to know if there is anyone who had my experience in high school, and have things improved for you?

confused about a relationship

replies: 3

Hi everyone, Recently I have just started talking to this guy and I have told him that I don't want a relationship yet because I wanna get everything sorted and work on myself before starting anything serious, and he's fine with that. recently he got drunk and started saying "you're not even that attractive" and told me that his friends don't think I'm good enough for him and he knows that hurt my feelings and we have spoken about it and have semi sorted it out (i'm still hurt but there isn't anything else for us to talk about). Now a week or so has passed and he wants to catch up with me and 1. my parents don't know that we are talking and I don't know how to bring that up, so if anyone has any advice on that, it would be greatly appreciated, and 2. I don't really know how I feel anymore and if I wanna catch up with him alone I kind of want to see him when i'm with some friends so that I have some support because they all know about what has happened and have told me to get out touch with him because he doesn't seem to be good for me and all that so i'm really confused as to what to do. This kind of stuff has happened to me before and I have never been good and sticking up for myself if it means it can potentially hurt his feelings. So if anyone has any sort of advice as to what I should do and how to potentially tell my parents that would be great! Thank you in advance!

Loneliness at School

replies: 1

I'm a Singaporean living in Australia. However, I am unable to connect to anyone. I may have autism because I always appear as cold and I can't sustain a conversation with peers. I'll have to resume school tomorrow and I really don't want to. Due to being unable to connect with anyone, I play myself as 'the joker' to have a place in the school. I hate this role but I don't know what to do. Everyone dislikes me and I feel bad to even show my face at school anymore. Even teachers dislike me. I have to friends who I can't really connect with but I don't want to abandon. No-one seems to share my interests and I've never felt so alone. Everyone scorns me and I just feel isolated and miserable. What's worse is that I haven't shared this with anyone and my parents keep on scolding me for being disengaged with school. Yet I feel I can't tell them because I'd get into trouble for misbehaving. I facade a 'I don't care' attitude with my friends and they keep on saying that my personality is bad. It isn't my real one but I don't know how to show it. What should I do this year?

22 year old insecure virgin With no direction in life

replies: 1

Hey all, new to this so bare with me! I am 22 and have been in a pit of depression since I was 17 but I have had anxiety my whole life and body image issues. I never really done much with a girl besides the old peck back when I was like 14 due to insecurity... idk what to do because I’m so lacking of experience now compared to others my age. Im not short of female attention and never have been since a young age, I’ve always been thought of as handsome and fit but never can accept it myself. The last 4 years I’ve isolated myself and pretty much only gone to the gym, most people see me and think I must have everything going for me due to how I look but In my mind I just cringe at any compliment I’m given and see it as if they’re just trying to big me up. I don’t know how to talk to people in small talk due to being isolated and ignoring friends and cancelling any sort of plans they try and make because I’d rather stay home with my dog and watch YouTube. I’ve been through numerous jobs during that time because I find it so hard to sleep at all when I have anything on the next day I’m so anxious and end up sending stupid texts in to why I can’t make it and usually haven’t slept and end up quitting because it’s too much anxiety for me even for the most mundane jobs, when I’m working I just don’t stop thinking about being at home in my comfort zone and when I’m home even on my days off I’m like counting down the hours until I have to be at work.. I feel I can’t calm my mind even as I sit here at 2:30am writing this. My virginity doesn’t faze me it only gets to me when I feel the pressure of others to loose it, I’ve recently in the last year started actually having anxiety attacks to which I never have had before where I thought I was dying. I’m scared to get any job because I feel I’ll fail at it.. even the most simple task that I can most definitely do I will doubt myself in. I really just want to be happy but I’m scared to make any move with women/jobs and life! Once someone gets past that awkward stage with me I’m very funny and outgoing but it’s extremely hard to get past it... I know I’ve just rambled on but I just think I need to hear other people’s opinions.

I have no friends, cannot make friends and am crushingly lonely. Please help.

replies: 6

I made this account literally just to post this, and I’m not sure if anyone will care, but if the brochures from the mental health spokespeople in school mean anything, then I suppose this is a place that can help. For the past 6 years, I have felt like someone who nobody wanted to be friends with. I’ve floated around different groups, only for them to treat me like shit and be rejected. I put so much time and energy into making new friends every year to replace the old ones I lose, only for them to leave me as well. I try explaining it to people, nobody and I mean nobody can help, it’s always just the same recycled responses “oh just reach out” “make new friends” “see new people” yeah, as if I haven’t tried that 100 times already. Honestly, I am always the third wheel in a friendship. Years of being people’s second or last choice or never even a choice at all has left me in a state where I am completely incapable of feeling wanted or worth anything. I tell myself that things will get better, and I tell myself that I’ll get new friends but the cycle just repeats over and over and over. I can’t tell my parents, I can’t have them worried, and they wouldn’t understand. I love them but this is something that I don’t think they can help with. I feel crushingly lonely constantly. It is truly horrible. I feel like that outside of my immediate family there is not a soul who cares about me on this planet. I need to know that my experience isn’t unique. I need someone to be able to relate with me. I need to know that I’m not just the freak show who is physically incapable of forming meaningful friendships. I don’t know if anybody is going to read this, I don’t know if anybody cares. But, if my mental breakdown 1 AM forum post graces your screen, please, tell me you relate.

Sex & Anxiety, and a whole bunch of issues

replies: 2

Hi, Recently I've started a new relationship. Well, actually I'm 21 and its my first relationship. I've strayed away from anything remotely intimate most of my life partly because my anxiety rules me fearful of most people and i feel as though i cannot trust them. I've (as of like a 5 days ago) had sex for the first time and my general anxiety has been off the charts since. For no good reason I feel so incredibly guilty that i feel sick about it. Even though im on the pill i feel like an extreme anxious feeling that i potentially could be pregnant and that alone scares me from wanting to do anything remotely sexual again. I wake up and immediately feel very upset about that in particular. I've had a very bad general anxiety disorder episode in the past (back in 2018) and this feels like its becoming that. On top of this, i am on a relatively medium level dose of antidepressants for both anxiety and a previous depressive episode, and what worries me is that im beginning to feel this anxious on the medication. The medication also renders my libido to practically 0, so i felt nothing emotionally during the sex part. - I have been honest about my mental health to my partner but i dont think he would understand if i told him that i felt nothing. My parents are traditional and strict, and although i am open about everything in my life to my mum, i cant tell her any of this which furthers my guilt about the whole thing. Apologies for such a long post. Does anyone have any advice? Have you been through something similar? I feel very alone about it.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Moving to new School Now I want to move back, should I ? replies: 1

Father who abandoned us wants to reconnect replies: 3

I feel completely useless replies: 1

Chronic illness is making me miss out on life. replies: 4

Isolation and Loneliness in High School; no friends. replies: 2

confused about a relationship replies: 3

Loneliness at School replies: 1

22 year old insecure virgin With no direction in life replies: 1

I have no friends, cannot make friends and am crushingly lonely. Please help. replies: 6

Sex & Anxiety, and a whole bunch of issues replies: 2