Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

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The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Failing in life

replies: 7

This year I'm 25, and I feel like I have failed in every area of life as a young person. Many people around my age already have the basics together- finished school, got an entry level job at least, have some savings, have a social circle already, are getting into relationships, moving out and moving forward in life. However I'm stuck. I started uni when I was 18 but dropped out when I was 20, was a bit lost until I was 23 and started picking back up my life again. My only completed qualification I have is a TAFE course, I only have about 1 year working experience in my field, I'm still studying online at uni and only barely over half way there. Just went to 4 job interviews in the past 2 weeks but got rejected by 2 of them cause of a lack of experience compared to other candidates. Since the whole virus thing is going on, I just want to find some stable work and financially stablise a little bit but finding no success so far. I still live with my parents, don't have much of a relationship with my family due to them being abusive to me in the past, still can't drive and not financially stable enough to move out. I'm hopeless when it comes to my social life too, I currently have no friends, nor do I have acquaintances that I keep in contact with, I've never been in any romantic relationship. I spend all my days stuck at home, looking for work online- sending in resumes, making cover letters and filling out long lists of addressment criterias. But my failures are burning me out in this area. Other than that I try to focus on my online studies, but its really hard to when I feel so down and alone. Only time I go out of my house is to go to job interviews. Really wished I could hold down a stable job, have some friends and relationships by my age but I'm still like a lost kid. My low self esteem keeps weighing me down emotionally and sometimes I just end up in tears all by myself, crying into my pillows at home.

Social Media incident from years back

replies: 3

Hello everyone, In 2016, I did something that I was and am not proud of. I sent an image that I wasn't proud of- kind of got manipulated into sending it. Anyway, I really struggled following this incident and felt really shitty and disgusted at myself. Anyway, the first year was tough real tough as a lot of people at school were asking me about it. I kept trying to avoid it at every instance I could and it find of went away. It doesn't come up all the time but when things that have anything to do with that or something similar even if it isn't me, my mind casts back to that moment and I cannot seem to move on or get it out of my mind what happened. I just want to be able to forget about it. I am usually really really busy so it gets my mind off it but when I have alone time, you can imagine what I am thinking about. I just don't know what to do. As it is quite a private, sensitive incident that happened and me wanting to keep it under wraps, it kind of is hard to deal with it. Does anyone have any advice. I just really want to be able to move on with my life even though the majority of people I interact with and talk to have no idea. As it was really my worst mistake in my life, you can probably imagine how bad I feel about it and in reality, it probably isn't that big at all. I must also add, the people involved I have tried to avoid since the incident and that particular person, I haven't spoken to them and blocked them out of my life since 2016.

friendship/ i used to be so bubbly and bright before and now i want that part of me back

replies: 2

so this all started when school holidays finished I noticed my friends (let's call them X and Z ) had gotten more closer together like REALLY close and I felt like really left out and I had confronted it to them about it and X had said that Z was going through a hard time so that's why they go closer and I understood that so I let them be and stuff. I was having a hard time struggling with it all by myself so I told two friends and those two friends I trust a lot but I guess they confronted my two friends so now X and Z said that I was talking about them behind there back, which I was but I didn't technically talk about them I only talked about myself and how I felt that they are excluding me.so another girl comes along and let's just name her A, so she came along saying a lot of stuff as I used her, I spread rumours about her and a lot of other stuff. which I didn't do, yes I talked about her behind her back but I never spread rumours or did any of that. they team up together and they confronted about it, I understood everything they said and apologised anyway and they said apology doesn't fix anything ( i mean what was it created for then ). but I tried my hardest to apologise to them and I even stayed away from them and went with another group of friends ( but I feel like I'm getting in the way of that group's friendship and I feel like I'm annoying to them ) so after all that happened I became SOO different, I was colder, quieter, I wasn't like myself and I wanted my old self back. I had also found out that A had been telling everything that was happening to all the 'popular' girls of the grade and they are like REALLY toxic. 2 weeks ago I had also found out I have depression and I was already struggling to tell my mum. and since all this was happening I became so different and I want that part of me back. I have been crying myself to sleep countless nights because I'm so scared about what's gonna happen. X, Z and A had told me to apologise personally in front of them if I actually meant my apology to them and I'm too scared to but I have to go anyway. my brain is mentally exhausted and a couple of days ago in the shower, I had a panic attack and I had trouble seeing, I fell to the floor but I had no one to call out to since no one was home. I didn't wanna tell anyone cause they would probably think I'm overreacting or telling lies. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, or how I should deal with my mental health, and telling my mum. please help.

Constantly Losing Friends

replies: 6

Does anyone ever feel like they don't belong anywhere in this world? I recently figured something out. That anyone who I consider as friends will eventually leave at one point in my life. I have a friend who I consider as one of the "best ones" told me the other day about their birthday plans. Okay, let's call them x. So x was going to do 2 "parties", one with their "best friends" group and one with basically everyone. I'm not in the "best friends" group and of course no, I didn't feel left out because hey, it's not my business who you call "best friend". But today, x posted on social media. The "best friends" group is apparently the new group of friends that x recently met a few weeks ago. This group is the "always dressed up nice in case I need to take photos" and "active" social media users who constantly update their posts so people know what's going on in their life. DISCLAIMER: I'm NOT against these people, I know them in person too, I do and will take photos for them if they ask. I tried so hard to find a better way to describe them people but that's the best I can do so I apologies if it sounds offending. I know I shouldn't feel left out, but I somehow do. Because I know for a fact that I'm different, I'm not one them, I'm nowhere close enough. I wear casual outfits and barely dress up unless I know that I need to (common sense). Although, most of the time when I do dress up, I'm the odd one in the group... I also take regular breaks from social media. Another reason as well, why I felt that way is because this has happened to me a few times before. First, they slowly fade away, then they leave you, eventually. Without any explanations, what did I do wrong? What makes me not qualified enough to be one's friend? A little background about myself, I had severe social anxiety that I finally overcame last year. I used to hide in the toilet's cubicle in big social gathering until someone comes to pick me up. I don't have many friends and once I consider them as "best friends", I mean it and it hurts so much when they leave out of the blue. The amount of times this has happened makes me think that I'm not worthy enough. I know I do but it seems like the world doesn't agree with me here? Is it just me being selfish, thinking all about myself? Should I really feel left out?? What should I do? Does anyone ever feel this way? What do you do when you feel this way?

Social Media Issues

replies: 3

I've had an few friends i have been contacting on the social media platforms just sending them food pics or added them to another platform and they suddenly blocked me.Why would people block you on social media at all. Is there any logical steps that... View more

We need help with a friendship group

replies: 7

Hi, my best friend and I we are in a toxic friendship group that feels as if it is going to snap any minute. We want to escape this group but we dint want them to attack us if we leave, we were hoping to get some recommendations from the people here ... View more

anger issues

replies: 2

Its been almost 3years that that in noticed i have got anger issues which makes me go blind and break everything thats infant of me. I get easily triggered when this doesn't work in the way I want it to be. Sometimes when i am happy I am too happy that I want to enjoy a lot but when there is mood swing I fight with my wife and show her my anger. Which is affecting our relationship and sometimes it goes to an extent that i say things i didn't meant.

Scared about the future

replies: 4

Hi my name is Caitlin, I am 15. I am getting to the stage where I have to start making big life choices such as subjects. It would be fair to say that I am gifted so the door is open to just about everything except sports. I want to be a stand up com... View more

Feeling stuck

replies: 1

Upon leaving college I had a career plan that was then taken away when the courses of interest were no longer offered in my state. This and a desire for independence pushed me into customer service/ hospitality to work. I moved out with my partner of the time but then we were not compatible and I moved back home. A lot happened, I worked, purchased a car, dabbled in finding a relationship, spent a lot of time with my friends and decided to return to study something else at university. I found a partner and overall we have a healthy and thriving relationship. The course I progressed into I either had to study online or drive for 3 hours to the campus it was offered on. I did a bit of both initially. Now with Covid I can only study online. I began to resent my job more and more, the fast paced customer service, the rude customers, working weekends, early mornings, changing rosters, not spending time with those in 9-5 jobs and simply I am bored and need to move on. I began applying for work else where, however ideally I would like part time work and this is a rarity, I am under qualified, I have had multiple rejections and now with Covid there just aren't the jobs out there. I moved into a share house with my partner and I have found it difficult to adjust, whilst it is generally a good household, it has increased social anxiety and I find it difficult not having a space to call my own. I can't afford rent alone though. I joined a mat pilates class but with Covid the times changed and I could no longer attend, I can't afford or can't attend other places and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to even just force myself to go for a walk. I increasingly feel like a strain on my partner, I feel like I ask for alot of his time, I am insecure and whilst he is successfully working full time, I am not. He is generally very supportive but obviously he can't fix my problems for me. A close family member also became unwell this year and this has been difficult to process, particularly with the world at the moment. At my age I long for holidays, friends, to buy a house and have a baby, sadly none of these are an option to me at the moment. I feel so stuck.

I feel terrible that I lied to my family about my university results for 4 months

replies: 2

I enrolled in university at the start of this year, but when I got to around the fourth week of university, I stopped doing work and failed all my subjects. My parents offered to pay my university fees, but I just wasted that money by not only being lazy but lying to them for a prolonged amount of time. I just came clean that I had not done any work before righting this, and am feeling really terrible. I thought I would create this thread for people to safely talk about being distrustful and hurtful the those that you love, and get anything off your chest, because lying everyday really does take a toll on a persons wellbeing, and this can be a great space to take the first step in feeling better and leaving these issues behind

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Failing in life replies: 7

Social Media incident from years back replies: 3

friendship/ i used to be so bubbly and bright before and now i want that part of me back replies: 2

Constantly Losing Friends replies: 6

Social Media Issues replies: 3

We need help with a friendship group replies: 7

anger issues replies: 2

Scared about the future replies: 4

Feeling stuck replies: 1

I feel terrible that I lied to my family about my university results for 4 months replies: 2