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romantic_thi3f Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies
  • replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are i... View more

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

Sophie_M NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first
  • replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindfu... View more

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Willowtree_21 Chronic illness while being young
  • replies: 2

Has anyone else had issues with being chronically ill? I got a whole bunch during my mid teen years (still dealing with them late teens) Lately, I’ve just felt so tired of having to hide it to be successful. I’m exhausted by it. My job kinda makes it... View more

Has anyone else had issues with being chronically ill? I got a whole bunch during my mid teen years (still dealing with them late teens) Lately, I’ve just felt so tired of having to hide it to be successful. I’m exhausted by it. My job kinda makes it difficult to discuss without losing work. Would just love to hear other stories.

Guest_236 trauma-induced self-sabotaging tendencies are affecting my relationship again. Help?
  • replies: 2

Hi there! I'll get straight into it. 4 years ago I was in an emotionally neglectful relationship. That was the year I experienced my lowest point (thus far). I was heavily depressed, s*lf h*rming and s**cidal... And I received little to no support fr... View more

Hi there! I'll get straight into it. 4 years ago I was in an emotionally neglectful relationship. That was the year I experienced my lowest point (thus far). I was heavily depressed, s*lf h*rming and s**cidal... And I received little to no support from my boyfriend at the time, but would have a mental breakdown every time I tried to break up. After dating for a total of almost 2 years, we broke up. Despite this, I don't resent him at all. We were young and it was both our first relationship. We grew so much from it. I wouldn't be who I am today without him, and he would say the same. I've received closure and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. We're still good friends. Nevertheless, the trauma of being alone through the darkest time of my life is still there. It's been years and I still can't fall out of self-preserving patterns of self sabotage. It mostly affects my romantic relationships. All the ones I've had since my first boyfriend, in fact. I'd always try to "quit while I'm ahead" to keep them from hurting me, or vice versa. I'd drop everything at the first sign of things not working out. I've been dating my current boyfriend since the start of 2019. He has the most beautiful heart. He's caring and empathetic and funny and passionate and smart and selfless and genuine. He's my best friend. He's stuck by me through my many depressive seasons and countless self-sabotaging episodes. We've taken breaks to see other people or work on ourselves since then, but we always came back to each other. I really could not ask for someone more supportive. I've improved a lot over the years, but self-sabotaging tendencies have started emerging again with my recent depressive episode and the nearing of the HSC. Whenever he chooses studies over me, I feel I'm a hindrance to his goals. When he chooses me over studies, I worry that he's sacrificing his grades out of worry for me. He's trying to balance both, and would do so effortlessly if I wasn't so problematic. I've started to distance myself from him, a common self-sabotaging reaction of mine. I'm afraid this dynamic will continue into uni, especially since he's planning on studying a pretty strenuous degree. I don't want to be a liability. I don't want to ruin things again. We've talked about this. He's as supportive and reassuring as usual, and we've thought of some strategies together. But I want to try harder, because I know it's a me problem. Suggestions? Tips + tricks? #Epic life hacks?

Deltius Assumptions causing trouble
  • replies: 6

Hello again, I posted a while ago about not achieving dreams but I come with a different issue. Anyone had problems with making assumptions that tend to be wrong and cause far more issues, normally negative in nature. For example, a friend normally h... View more

Hello again, I posted a while ago about not achieving dreams but I come with a different issue. Anyone had problems with making assumptions that tend to be wrong and cause far more issues, normally negative in nature. For example, a friend normally has snap map on and I can not longer see her on snap, my brain naturally goes "well clearly she just turned it off for you specifically" but in reality, it is something like her location might just be off on her phone. To be clear, I have no reason to think why she would turn of GPS for me but my brain instantly goes there. This is a major issue I am trying to solve, I am blessed with being self-aware but it doesn't make getting rid of the issue any easier it seems. The reason for needing to fix this is it has caused and is causing friendships to be lost and reputations destroyed. Any tips are appreciated.

MoodedOut Does anyone have any advice on how to fulfill social needs without a partner?
  • replies: 2

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under. I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is ... View more

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under. I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is a bit difficult. For some background, I do have 1 or 2 close friends near me but I probably only hang out with them once or twice every two weeks (they are still in university). I have a need to socialise more than that (probably 2-3 times a week), even though I do appreciate my time spent with them. Recently, I've had an idea to do zoom calls with friends who live further away from me, who would otherwise be impractical to hang out regularly due to the distance. Even though it's not irl, I reasoned it's still a good complement to hanging out with my regular friends irl. Still need to test this idea out though. The issue is, sometimes there's periods where noone is available and I get really lonely and depressed. It used to really affect me, but I've recently been taking depression medication, so it isn't such a big deal now. However, it still does affect me in some capacity. Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with the feeling of being lonely/depressed when no-one is around? I find if I don't deal with it directly, I enter into some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drowning myself out with TV. Any help is appreciated.

Angela2021 Parents comparing me to others
  • replies: 2

I'm new here and glad I found this forum. My parents, (I come from a typical Asian household hahah) they compare me to other people my age or older. They've always been doing that my whole life and idk never talked to anyone about it because I can't ... View more

I'm new here and glad I found this forum. My parents, (I come from a typical Asian household hahah) they compare me to other people my age or older. They've always been doing that my whole life and idk never talked to anyone about it because I can't seem to say it out loud. I feel so ashamed of being myself, they rarely acknowledge my achievements only my failures and mishaps - it's gotten to the point that I'm never satisfied about my achievements and I know in the back of my head that it's wrong. I am currently living with them, can't move out. I'm 18 and just entered uni. I've never seen a therapist because my parents don't approve of them and my friends aren't the type to talk with me about this problem. I've asked God many times to help relieve me of this pain but I guess they have also turned their backs on me... I feel so lonely. Really, I do. I don't even know what to ask on this forum other than, has anyone gone through this before and how did they overcome this? Ofc there isn't a fixed solution in life, but I feel like talking to others in similar situations may help me feel less lonelier I guess. Thank you, this is my first time doing something like this so it feels a bit weird

Jessie_w Help?
  • replies: 5

Hi I'm Jesse. Im 11, and I don't think I'll even make it past 12. I have so much stress on me, and there is so much to worry about all the time. No one Understands how I'm feeling. Whenever I try to talk about my feelings with someone, they either la... View more

Hi I'm Jesse. Im 11, and I don't think I'll even make it past 12. I have so much stress on me, and there is so much to worry about all the time. No one Understands how I'm feeling. Whenever I try to talk about my feelings with someone, they either laugh at me, say I'm faking, or say it's not a big deal. I think I'm gonna give up soon. Also, sometimes randomly, when I'm having a serious conversation, I accidentally think about my teacher, or parent, or friend, or anyone having sex, or getting hurt. So to stop thinking about it, I think about someone else, but it backfires, an now I'm thinking about even worse things happening to them. Oh no! What if they can read my mind, and they know that I'm thinking inappropriate thoughts about them! stop thinking about it, or I'll get in trouble! also, "I think I'm depressed! Nah nevermind. I'm faking, I just think I'm depressed, so when someone reads my mind, they also think I'm depressed. No that's stupid! People can't read minds! I need mental help. No I just thought that so when they read my mind, they will believe me, and give me attention." And that cycle of thoughts keeps repeating, like reverse reverse reverse reverse phycology.

isabellen very lucky but never happy?
  • replies: 6

I’ve got a lot of good things going on, I got moved up to the top of the state youth activity group I’m in, my friends are always so nice to me and I have nice parents and family as well, I’m able to pass tests with an A or B without studying, but I ... View more

I’ve got a lot of good things going on, I got moved up to the top of the state youth activity group I’m in, my friends are always so nice to me and I have nice parents and family as well, I’m able to pass tests with an A or B without studying, but I often find myself very miserable and feeling very lonely despite my friends im not diagnosed with depression, I’ve never even been to a psychologist, I just think it could possibly be this. I cant really think of a good cause for any of this. My gran passed away about 1-2 months ago and while we knew she didn’t have too much longer I was upset at first, but since the first day I haven’t felt anything and I feel guilty for that, she lives on the other side of the globe and that’s probably why. I don’t think it has too much to do with it though. I can only else think of maybe the amount of assignments that I’ve had homework in the last week, maybe my lack of concentration in the last few months, particularly the fact I often feel lonely - my other friends either have a reasonable social life and they’ve had a boyfriend or whatnot, or theyre introverted and fine being alone, I’ve got a fairly sizeable social life and I often recognise people in the street but I haven’t found anyone who really seems to care about me much. This also makes me feel like maybe I have a bad personality or I’m ugly kind of a rant, there’s more about my friends and the loneliness but I don’t want to drag this on, I rlly don’t know what to say

abb90909 I feel like I'm being completely shut out by my friends
  • replies: 1

In high school my friend group didn't really like me, and I don't know why. They were mean and hardly ever invited me to hang out and such. I struggled a lot with mental health issues in high school so it really hit my self-esteem badly. I'm now 22 y... View more

In high school my friend group didn't really like me, and I don't know why. They were mean and hardly ever invited me to hang out and such. I struggled a lot with mental health issues in high school so it really hit my self-esteem badly. I'm now 22 years old. I thought I had a new friendship group and I didn't have to worry about pathetic high school drama anymore. I have a university degree and I'm currently in the middle of my second one, so I figured I'd involve myself around more mature people. And my friendship group has been good for the past 3-4 years, however, over the past month I've noticed it's changed a bit. It started when I fell out of a close friendship with a girl I had known since around year 9. Lately she has been very self-absorbed and doesn't really bring much to our friendship anymore so we have slowly been drifting away. It hurts, absolutely, but she was very toxic. Still, I don't hate her or anything and if she was with us when hanging out with our other friends I wouldn't care at all. My other friends seem to be a lot closer with her now, and all of a sudden they've been going out doing things together that we all would usually do. I feel as though the friend I've drifted away from is almost like the 'ring leader'. I hate putting it like that, but it's almost like if she doesn't like someone or doesn't like doing something then all her friends can't like that person or can't do that thing. I had plans to have dinner and see a movie with one of the other girls the other week but she said she was sick and couldn't go anymore (she told me this the night before our plans), and yet the next day she was out in town with the other friends going to lunch and hanging out. One of them was even sending me snapchats of them all hanging out?? I sent one of the girls a message asking if I have done anything wrong and now she's just ignoring me because she's been active on every other platform apart from facebook. I've come to realise that when we did all hang out, I'd only be invited if I organised something. I just feel really lonely, like I'm almost 23 years old and going through this stupid high school stuff again. I'm not good at making friends, and I really have no one now apart from my boyfriend. I've been friends with one of the other girls for 2 years, the other 5 years, and I feel like they really just don't even care about me or our friendship. I'm finding this is taking a toll on my mental health.

WW2002 Unsure about the future
  • replies: 4

Hi, I feel like I'm a complete mess right now and have no direction of where to go in the future. I'm currently 18 years old and graduated High School last year, however, I do not currently attend Uni - due to reasons I will discuss later. Most days,... View more

Hi, I feel like I'm a complete mess right now and have no direction of where to go in the future. I'm currently 18 years old and graduated High School last year, however, I do not currently attend Uni - due to reasons I will discuss later. Most days, I'm sat around at home doing basically nothing, staring at a phone or computer screen all day. I work 4-5 days a week however and have a steady income, as well as occasionally going out with friends or family maybe once or twice a week. Apart from this, I feel as if I have no social life due to not attending Uni the year after graduating High School. High School was a huge mess for me. I really wanted to succeed in life and my studies, but nowadays I feel so clueless and indecisive of what I want to do. I'd say I was genuinely a smart person and still am, however, I never used this to my full advantage. From years 7-10, I was pretty much scoring A's all around, up until mid-year 11. I was suffering from a loss of a family member who had really influenced me a lot throughout my life and was always there for me. From then on, I struggled a lot with grief and everything just skyrocketed down. I started failing all my classes and although each and everyone one of my teachers were deeply worried about how I was going, I myself chose not to open up to any of them. This led to me basically failing all throughout year 11 and 12, which is considered to be the most important schooling years. Mid-year 12, I started seeing my school guidance counsellor, but obviously it was too late for this and although they were of great help, it practically got me nowhere. I was heavily lacking in motivation and confidence, leading to what I'd classify as a very low ATAR score. Each and every one of my preferences required a somewhat high score - I wanted to succeed into scientific/medical field in my younger years. As of now, I live with my father and my older brother. Both of them think that I've started Uni and attend regularly (don't have time to check up on me due to their own lives, work, etc.), but all I do is just lay at home and work. I feel like my life is just going to keep repeating itself regularly. I'm planning to start mid-year but I feel as if I still have little to no motivation and confidence in myself to pursue into a course and actually do well. I'm scared to tell both my father and brother as I don't want to disappoint them even more, although they know how much stress I was going through in the last few years.

nat_97 What does everyone ACTUALLY do to cope with stress?
  • replies: 3

I've personally wondered this a lot as not many people like to show their vulnerable side. I've read so many articles and heard professionals advise on methods to cope with stress, but heard so little on what do people around my age range actually do... View more

I've personally wondered this a lot as not many people like to show their vulnerable side. I've read so many articles and heard professionals advise on methods to cope with stress, but heard so little on what do people around my age range actually do to alleviate stress. So I really want to get a real and honest insight from my fellow young peers: What and how do you actually cope or relieve stress? Do you guys exercise, endlessly scroll through social media, or perhaps have a particular hobby you do to cope with stress? (For me if I'm brutally honest, I endlessly watch youtube videos online or write down all my thoughts on paper)