Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Partner guilt trips me

replies: 5

Sorry in advance if none off this really makes sense as I feel like I've just kind off gone all over the place with trying to explain myself. But here you go, So this is a regular occurrence. I feel like my partner guilt trips me on nights when we're out with friends & then his night suddenly turns bad, he gets anxiety about the crowds, the noise, the vibes etc. Which I'm completely sympathetic towards his feelings & the situation. There have been times where I will stay & alm him & support him by staying with him & we'll go to bed, but when it happens everytime we go out and especially the most recent time, it was a friends 21st, we had spoek about this issue prior to going & we both came to an agreement we would enjoy the night out, do what we could to help him during it so he does stay out with us & enjoys the night but it didn't happen, and I'm not blaming him at all because each person is different, but it's always the same "I want you to stay with me". Which I feel maybe I am an asshole for not always staying or being by his side, and maybe it's petty because it about us going out, but it's always in the time when I want to stay out with friends. He doesn't organise boys nights, he doesn't go if they are organised so I feel maybe it's an internal issue with him, knowing that I'm more off the bubbly outgoing person than he is, and I know he feels bad doing this stuff, he says that at the time but because he feels bad he doesn't want to be alone either so makes him want me to stay more so.. I don't know.. it's really tricky.. and we're trying to work through it & dicsuss it today when he gets home from work, I don't have someone mature enough to talk to about it I also don't want to make him look like an asshole, because he isn't in anyway. I know he is trying to figure his own emotions out & become his own person as he's still young, (19) he's not as self aware as I am in the sense off understanding all these terms & guilt tripping etc but I want to help him, while helping myself & us. I'm also scared he does all this because he's worried he'll lose me if I go out without him, like relationship wise, because I'm older, he's had a bad previous relationship so I feel like that's triggering him a little bit when we experience these outings together.

Need advice on religion, family, gender and sexuality. I know it's a lot.

replies: 34

Hello. Let's start this of with a bit of an introduction. My name is Quinn, my pronouns are they/them and I'm nonbinary, asexual and panromantic. At least I'm pretty sure that's all true. My family is pretty homophobic, especially my dad. When I first came out to him he basically waved it off as me just making stuff up to fit in with my new friends. We had just moved to where I know live and for the first time ever in my life I was going to a new school and my friend group was almost entirely LGBTQIA+. I had no idea about any of it so they had to teach me and I came to the above realisations. One of my other currant problems is that I'm beginning to question my religion. I'm I'm raised catholic and my parents are both very strongly catholic but I just don't fell very connected to it. I have been doing a bit of reaserch and I found like all that pagen witchcraft stuff and that looks really cool but I don't really know what to do, or how to tell my parents. My other problem is my extended family. We used to live with my mums parents when we first moved here but it's wasn't great. My grandfather started drinking again and he got really drunk most nights and got into fights with my dad. We eventualy moved out and not it's like my mum wants me to forget everything that he did and just be friends with him again, but every time I go over to visit he's always drunk and says stupid stuff. I just don't know what to do, and I have been feeling really sad most days and I think I might have depression but my dad said it can't be that because I still enjoy my hobbies. I just need some help and advice. Thanks in advance.

I don't understand part-time jobs.

replies: 4

Hi all, I recently graduated from Year 12 (I'm 19, with Autism) this year but I really don't have anything to do besides studying for learners (which I really don't care about; topic for another day), playing games and YouTube. But recently, thinking about part time jobs and job-hunting in particular has really made me mad for several reasons. Part time jobs are crazy hard to get, due to how companies wanting younger employees so that they are paid cheaper. I tried finding part time when I was 17-18 but none were successful (ie. applying for maccas in 4 locations, 3 times. All of them turned me down) Most of these part-times are either Retail or Hospitality/Labour jobs which aren't my sort of thing, very little variation in terms of industry topics I worked casual at a Labour meat produce back in December 2019 for a month and while I didn't have any issues with other co-workers (pay was good), it really burned me out due to how fast-paced and intensive it was ( I did do work experience at a retailer and it was fine.) The companies that I applied for, didn't give me any useful constructive criticism on how to improve my resume, CV and cover letters, leaving me feel useless, because I didn't understand what I did wrong or what I need to improve on. Other people that are around my age are able to have part-time jobs no problem, while I feel isolated and out of touch. Payment depending on shift hours, is questionable, as people get older, they tend to get less working hours and pay due to their age. Employers want resumes and CVs, short and concise, making it hard to relate my skills to a particular company's interest Thinking about jobs in general has made me infuriated with the world because of the reasons above. I used to have a slightly optimistic mind about finding part-time back in 2018-2019, but at this point, why should I sacrifice my time trying to find employment if companies don't give me direct feedback, work types that have little to no variation, mediocre payment and shift hours? At this point, I gave up looking for part-time because it wasn't worth the effort for such a generic job. Why would I work and learn something that I have no interest in whatsoever, even if those skills were "useful" to me? Have I gone insane? Or am I just a laughing stock to those who are able to get part-time jobs? Is it okay for me to have such malicious thoughts about part-time employment?

Anxiety about birthday soon

replies: 5

I turn 25 in April and am feeling scared I feel like time is slipping away and my youth is gone Another big factor of why I feel anxiety growing up is I fear medical conditions could arise for me, meaning I can't do my favourite hobbies anymore. Like what if I get a condition that prevents me from holding the controller to play a video game or my eyes start to fail and I can't read my books anymore or I get a condition that makes it hard for me to paint. I can probably learn to not worry about being laughed at if I'm in my 40s, 50s, 60s heck even 70s playing video games and other "nerdy" actitives but the thought of physically not being able to really stresses me out and kinda upsets me. That's why I worry about growing older is that time may be closing on me. And I know some may say 25 is a young age but the nightmare of being without the things I love and adore. I love video games cause they inspire me to paint and I love painting cause I feel energised doing it Sorry to sound silly, I just find the thoughts hard

Feeling joyless in a wonderful marriage

replies: 3

I'm married to a wonderful husband who I've been with for 5 years. He is patient, kind, understanding and funny. He has seen me through my absolute worst and my best. I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression and started medication again. For the most part (before and during medication) I have just felt joyless and out of love. My husband makes me feel comfort when I'm overwhelmed, having a panic attacks etc. I do love him, though I'm just feeling really odd about not having any romantic feelings towards him. He is the best and I can't imagine being with anyone else, I just worry that I am numb towards feelings of romance and joy and have talked to him about it. He can't do anything, it's an issue with me. Just wondering if anyone else has had any feelings or experiences like this in their relationship and if it has gotten better?

All friends gone, hopeless, failed again.

replies: 4

Hello, I Unfortunately, over the last week have lost all my friends, being accused of sexually assaulting someone, lashed out at a friend and her parent due to others warping my thoughts into thinking my friend was having sex my brother and have had all progress reset, I am in debt, don't eat properly, constantly feel like throwing up and have had wellfare checks and been to the ER a couple times. Help?

I don't know how to find someone.

replies: 7

I am 25 and due to my mental health, I lost about 10 years of my life from the time I was 14. I didn't even start to climb out of that hole until I was 23. I was taking smaller steps initially and have been making much larger ones now, but one area where I can't seem to make any progress is finding a romantic partner. In my 10 years of solitude, I feel I essentially missed out on developing the skills necessary to navigate the dating world, communicate my value, and be flexible while maintaining my values. To be charming and interesting. To be intellectual, but physical. Now, I am 25 and so touch and affection-starved that I can't take the pain of loneliness anymore. Going out into the world, to the beach, bars, etc, and seeing everyone there with their partners is excruciating. My friend told me yesterday about a girl he hooked up with and I had chest pain for 4 hours afterwards because I can't even fathom how people accomplish that. I literally do not know, cannot imagine, the combination of words and actions that would lead to that. A hookup is not even what I'm looking for, but it would be something. I am either on, or have tried just about every dating app out there, and on the rare occasion that I get a match, it hasn't gone past 5 messages (hence I don't know how to communicate my value). I try meetups and singles groups, but there seems to be so few people my age, and I can't stop myself from thinking it is because they are normal and don't need them whereas I unfortunately do. I feel so unlike the bulk of my generation. I don't know where my people are. I'm getting really tired.

I want nothing to do with father

replies: 4

My father is an extremely toxic person. I am 21 and he still wants to control every aspect of my life. He is always unhappy with me. Recently he thinks I am doing drugs ( I am not and he thinks this cause he heard rumours that my friend does, but my friend does not). My mum knows I can never consume any drugs and I myself know I can never as I work at a big 4 consulting firm, and I am studying law. Even though I explained to him (the above) , he still does not believe me and is moody. This has happened before numerous times and I am about to lose it soon cause he just believes stupid rumours even though I assured him they are false. I have his name as my middle name and I really want to remove it because I’m starting to hate him. He says he is protecting me, but I am 21. I would never in my life consume a drug, and it’s sad to believe that he thinks I would. I reassured him it would ruin my career and future, but he still acts toxic by ignoring me, not talking to me, akways thinks that he is right. Just need some help please cause I’m feeling like sh*t

About to start a new job soon and I'm really scared right now.

replies: 4

Hi everyone I graduated from university in December 2020 and I started my first fulltime job in April this year. Fast forward to December I have resigned from the job because it was not really aligned with my career goal and I wasn't really happy there. I do have a new job lined up and I will be starting in two weeks time and I'm really worried. My main worry is that I won't be able to live up to the standard needed. I reread all my applications and I feel that I have not misinterpreted myself and was honest and transparent throughout both application and interview process. During the interview, the panel did say that they are more concerned about the attitude and problem solving mindset rather than what technical skills the applicant possess. I guess the main reasons are because I'm only a recent graduate with only 1 year of experience and I'm about to take on a job which from both salary or skill perspective is geared more towards someone that is much more experienced than me even though the panel did state that this position was essentially a junior level role. Has anyone ever been through something like this before or any tips to stop worrying so much? I have gone through the job advert and have been taking courses on some of the skills that was listed that I'm not really familiar with. Many thanks

just my emotions

replies: 4

hi, im a young teenager, I'm unhappy at the school I currently attend and trying to do everything I can to move but that's not really the topic here, I feel really sad and I always have im extremely anxious all the time especially with school since school isn't my favourite thing and the one I attend atm isn't helping, I have diagnosed anxiety since I was a little kid but I don't know what to do about me feeling so sad all the time, sadness, lack of motivation, constantly tired and lost interest in most things all I wanna do is just stay at home and lay in bed. I haven't gone out with my friends for so long and I barely have any. I have one which is my best friend and I love her with everything I have, but she's moved schools so im scared for next year. I find joy in very few things, talking to my best friend, music and collecting albums, and that's all I can really think of. im not the type of person to open up so making this account and talking about my problems on here was a big step for me. im so worried about what could be wrong with me. I don't want to say or have this come across in a hurtful way but I just want to be normal, im so insecure I just play it off and try and hide it from everyone, I can't focus on things and I have the worst memory im so fidgety and lose track so often. I want to get help and support but I don't know whaat to do like I said before I rarely open up so I don't really talk to my friends about it and I won't talk to my parents about it its just out of my comfort zone and I feel like no one understands. I've been told that people have worse problems then me which is why I think I have such a hard time opening up and I compare myself to other people who struggle (I don't want to but I can't control it) so when I see someone going through a lot I put all my empathy towards them and not myself and when try and focus on myself I compare it to other people and invalidate my own feelings. I want support and where to go from here but I don't know what to do. also there was a lady who specialises in kids mental health and anxiety that my school conselour told my parents to have me go and see but idk if my mum forgot about the lady or not and im too scared to ask.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Partner guilt trips me replies: 5

Need advice on religion, family, gender and sexuality. I know it's a lot. replies: 34

I don't understand part-time jobs. replies: 4

Anxiety about birthday soon replies: 5

Feeling joyless in a wonderful marriage replies: 3

All friends gone, hopeless, failed again. replies: 4

I don't know how to find someone. replies: 7

I want nothing to do with father replies: 4

About to start a new job soon and I'm really scared right now. replies: 4

just my emotions replies: 4