Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Loneliness

replies: 4

Hey my name is Liam, I’ve been lonely for quite a while even though I still live with my parents. I basically lost all my mates since I left my old school which was at least 5 years and have never been able to reconnect with any of em or made any friends since. I’m afraid if I never make any friends soon I’m going to lose all hope and be alone for my entire life. I’ve had some suicidal thoughts but can never go through with it cause I don’t want to hurt my family, I just don’t know what to do anymore..

There's 7 days till school begins for me, and I feel apprehensive

replies: 2

On 3/2, I begin 10th grade, but I've been completely pessimistic about it. For one thing, I'm 100% not looking forward to seeing the people there. Most of this hate directs toward my class which is the same for the past few years. To be blunt, I hate them. My friends belong to the class, and they're some of the worst people I know. I don't want to go through another year with them, PLUS the rest of my shitty class. They really messed me up last year, and seeing those same shitty groups of people fills me with dread. I did not finish year 9 happily and resolve anything. They simply are jerks and they will fuck me up this year just like before. I don't want 200 more days of constant loneliness even when I'm with them. I have no clue how to face them, and none of this will change. Simply put, they ignore me, shun me, never are genuine friends at all, and I don't fit in at all. The more important thing is that my academic performance has been shit for a while, and after last year's insanely long lockdown, my grades have tanked. I've been even more worried and I have absolutely no confidence on my abilities. I struggle to improve. VCE is worrying me. The past years, I've been declining. I don't know how to manage my time, or manage myself. My family isn't any help, since they just seem to pressure me more. I've been procastinating like crazy, and my motivation and work ethics are gone. The worst of it all is that it's 10th grade already. The past years felt like it went by too fast. I'm anxious about the future, and the structure of the later years of school. I'm nervous on how VCE will go, the increased independence, the constant work, and exams. It doesn't help that exams have been cancelled for me ever since Covid. I'm not sure how to describe it, but the fact that I'm growing up make me feel awful. Soon, I have to stress about more important things and take up new responsibilities, and I don't feel ready for it at all. I miss how simple things were for me, even though I hated things then anyway.

Im Done

replies: 3

I know most people don't care about me, even my family. I cry every night, and drink and use. I want to die honestly life is useless. It was so hard to even make a account and even harder to make an account, I am crying so much, my head hurts. I have been through so many traumatic experiences I don't know where this stems from. My whole life I was bullied. I found it so hard to connect. I drink and use drugs. Please HELP ME. what do I do? why am I always the problem? Why is everyone a stranger? why is everyone a supplier? why do I drink wayyyy more than "normal". I just want to be normal. hurt me. If anyone can help me I would be so happy. My life is fucked tbh. what advice you have to feel "normal". Like, I go on midnight+ walks in the rain, and do stupid shit to put me in jail. But I am fairly smart "apparently:, even though i think I am the most stupid in every room. I have been suicidal for so long it is ridiculous. I have just kind of learnt to learnt with all this stupid shit. PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. I just thought everyone suppressed there shit hard. and that everyone used drugs. This might seems fake, but ill never say my actual story, but what could I do to help my self out? It was so hard just making an account on this site. I was crying and fucking myself up so much just to do this. Please help me.

Compulsive lying - support, advice etc?

replies: 14

Hi everyone, This is my first post here. I've been wanting to reach out and talk about this for a long time, so I'm going to be honest and get everything off my chest - I am a compulsive liar, and I have been since I was a child, although I can't remember exactly when this began. I grew up in a conservative religious environment where lying was almost necessary to keep myself out of trouble, but at some point it escalated into my lying simply out of habit. My parents were also (and continue to be) emotionally abusive with narcissistic tendencies - I've never been close to them, and as I've grown up our relationship has only worsened. I've struggled with mental health issues in the past, to which they responded negatively and didn't provide any support (their attitude was that any issues I had were my own fault, and their solution was either to ignore it or to pray). So that's a little bit of background - back to my lying problem. I first encountered the term 'compulsive lying' about 4-5 years ago, and I knew immediately that it applied to me. My lies as a child and teenager were largely about myself/my life, and designed to make me seem like a more interesting and likeable person. I lied to my friends all through school about trivial things; what I did on the weekends/holidays, my life outside of school, my family. I exaggerated or made up stories for the same reasons. I was always conscious of my lies and never confused them with the truth. My high school friends never caught me in the act, so I never addressed the problem, and when I moved cities for uni I was hoping that I could leave that part of my life behind me. But the real problems started then. When I began uni and made friends in this new city where nobody knew me/my past, I was swept up by my compulsive lying again. I lied about my parents' ethnicities, about where I was born, about my siblings (going so far as inventing another elder brother when I really only have one) etc. I got into a romantic relationship not long after moving, this person was fed the same lies that all my friends heard, and now we're talking seriously about marriage! I've never been caught in the act, my partner/friends think highly of me and have never suspected a thing, but I know the truth - I've always been able to separate my lies from my reality. It's eating me inside because I desperately want honest relationships with people, without destroying those I already have and love dearly. Please help! I feel so alone

Feeling very alone and I feel like no support I ask for is enough for me.

replies: 1

Hi. I'm new here to the whole forum thing so I'm not really sure what to say but I guess I'll get straight to the point. I've been struggling with self esteem issues for a few years now, I feel very self conscious to the point I do not want to go outside because I feel like I am going to be judged. I panic a lot and tend to get very very down most days and it's hard for me to feel better. I haven't been diagnosed with anything because I'm too scared to discuss things with my parents because I fear they will not get me help or not be supportive or block me out. I was having a day where I was feeling very down and practically hating myself and I decided to reach out to one of my friends, and after a chat they said I could reach out anytime I needed to. So sometimes when I'm not feeling 100% I'll reach out to her to explain what's going on, which happens more often than not. I mostly discuss the same problems with her but recently I feel like the responses she's giving me aren't helping me and are frankly making me feel worse than when the conversation started, I know she's just trying to help but I wonder why I can't accept what she's saying and be satisfied with what she's trying to advise me to do. I also feel that after so many talk sessions that go for hours and that have been happening for months, she has started to not care about what I'm saying and is trying to finish the conversation as quick as possible by repeating things a lot. I feel really bad that I feel this way so therefore have stopped reaching out as often but she's the only one that will respond when I message. I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way or what is even happening and I really want to be grateful for her time and what she's saying but it's not helping me, and I'm not sure if anything will. What can I do?

Losing friends again and feeling lonely

replies: 1

For basically all of high school, I struggled with a feeling of loneliness amongst whatever friend group I'm in at the time, with every group I've been a part of slowly losing interest in me and no longer including me unless it's to help them write an essay or whatever. Bc of this and with my already bad anxiety I am very insecure, have a fear of rejection and abandonment and tend to shut down if my anxiety is triggered. Well, this started happening again with my current group, and it all sort of culminated at this big school event where I was canceled on and excluded most of the night. (Two of my biggest problems are canceled plans and being excluded which I've talked to them about before.) Bc of that I shut down most of the night. when I found out they hung out together at an afters without me (telling me they all were going home when they didn't) I was so hurt, feeling left out and lonely again. I wanted to message them about it bc I was sick of being swept aside. I messaged them to tell them how I felt about it (i might have been a bit blunt I admit) and it turned into me being a bad person bc I wasn't very talkative that night? Bc, I was upset about people canceling last minute and lying? Am I a bad friend? Am I overreacting like they said I am? Now I completely regret saying anything I feel like they all hate me. The thought of being a bad friend has made me nonstop nauseous for the last two weeks. Now I have no one to talk to essentially. I've only talked to my parents. I am increasingly getting more anxious and lonely and I feel as if I am once again spiraling like after my other failed friendships. Having told them how these things affect me previously and them doing it anyway I couldn't see myself continuing a friendship when I was going down the road of being excluded again. Even tho I chose to distance myself I am so incredibly lonely. Was it a bad idea for me to distance myself? Is it just my anxiety talking and I've ruined a friendship by getting upset? Does my anxiety make me hard to be around? Idk. All I feel is regret. I just feel stupid and like a bad person. I'm sorry if this is super rambly I'm a bit nervous about writing on here.

idk how to feel better

replies: 1

i always feel like there is a heavy weight on my back keeping me from doing things. it gives me no motivation and makes me feel bad about myself and overthink all of my problems. i need to know what it is so i can make it go away. thanks, erj

Partner guilt trips me

replies: 5

Sorry in advance if none off this really makes sense as I feel like I've just kind off gone all over the place with trying to explain myself. But here you go, So this is a regular occurrence. I feel like my partner guilt trips me on nights when we're out with friends & then his night suddenly turns bad, he gets anxiety about the crowds, the noise, the vibes etc. Which I'm completely sympathetic towards his feelings & the situation. There have been times where I will stay & alm him & support him by staying with him & we'll go to bed, but when it happens everytime we go out and especially the most recent time, it was a friends 21st, we had spoek about this issue prior to going & we both came to an agreement we would enjoy the night out, do what we could to help him during it so he does stay out with us & enjoys the night but it didn't happen, and I'm not blaming him at all because each person is different, but it's always the same "I want you to stay with me". Which I feel maybe I am an asshole for not always staying or being by his side, and maybe it's petty because it about us going out, but it's always in the time when I want to stay out with friends. He doesn't organise boys nights, he doesn't go if they are organised so I feel maybe it's an internal issue with him, knowing that I'm more off the bubbly outgoing person than he is, and I know he feels bad doing this stuff, he says that at the time but because he feels bad he doesn't want to be alone either so makes him want me to stay more so.. I don't know.. it's really tricky.. and we're trying to work through it & dicsuss it today when he gets home from work, I don't have someone mature enough to talk to about it I also don't want to make him look like an asshole, because he isn't in anyway. I know he is trying to figure his own emotions out & become his own person as he's still young, (19) he's not as self aware as I am in the sense off understanding all these terms & guilt tripping etc but I want to help him, while helping myself & us. I'm also scared he does all this because he's worried he'll lose me if I go out without him, like relationship wise, because I'm older, he's had a bad previous relationship so I feel like that's triggering him a little bit when we experience these outings together.

Need advice on religion, family, gender and sexuality. I know it's a lot.

replies: 34

Hello. Let's start this of with a bit of an introduction. My name is Quinn, my pronouns are they/them and I'm nonbinary, asexual and panromantic. At least I'm pretty sure that's all true. My family is pretty homophobic, especially my dad. When I first came out to him he basically waved it off as me just making stuff up to fit in with my new friends. We had just moved to where I know live and for the first time ever in my life I was going to a new school and my friend group was almost entirely LGBTQIA+. I had no idea about any of it so they had to teach me and I came to the above realisations. One of my other currant problems is that I'm beginning to question my religion. I'm I'm raised catholic and my parents are both very strongly catholic but I just don't fell very connected to it. I have been doing a bit of reaserch and I found like all that pagen witchcraft stuff and that looks really cool but I don't really know what to do, or how to tell my parents. My other problem is my extended family. We used to live with my mums parents when we first moved here but it's wasn't great. My grandfather started drinking again and he got really drunk most nights and got into fights with my dad. We eventualy moved out and not it's like my mum wants me to forget everything that he did and just be friends with him again, but every time I go over to visit he's always drunk and says stupid stuff. I just don't know what to do, and I have been feeling really sad most days and I think I might have depression but my dad said it can't be that because I still enjoy my hobbies. I just need some help and advice. Thanks in advance.

I don't understand part-time jobs.

replies: 4

Hi all, I recently graduated from Year 12 (I'm 19, with Autism) this year but I really don't have anything to do besides studying for learners (which I really don't care about; topic for another day), playing games and YouTube. But recently, thinking about part time jobs and job-hunting in particular has really made me mad for several reasons. Part time jobs are crazy hard to get, due to how companies wanting younger employees so that they are paid cheaper. I tried finding part time when I was 17-18 but none were successful (ie. applying for maccas in 4 locations, 3 times. All of them turned me down) Most of these part-times are either Retail or Hospitality/Labour jobs which aren't my sort of thing, very little variation in terms of industry topics I worked casual at a Labour meat produce back in December 2019 for a month and while I didn't have any issues with other co-workers (pay was good), it really burned me out due to how fast-paced and intensive it was ( I did do work experience at a retailer and it was fine.) The companies that I applied for, didn't give me any useful constructive criticism on how to improve my resume, CV and cover letters, leaving me feel useless, because I didn't understand what I did wrong or what I need to improve on. Other people that are around my age are able to have part-time jobs no problem, while I feel isolated and out of touch. Payment depending on shift hours, is questionable, as people get older, they tend to get less working hours and pay due to their age. Employers want resumes and CVs, short and concise, making it hard to relate my skills to a particular company's interest Thinking about jobs in general has made me infuriated with the world because of the reasons above. I used to have a slightly optimistic mind about finding part-time back in 2018-2019, but at this point, why should I sacrifice my time trying to find employment if companies don't give me direct feedback, work types that have little to no variation, mediocre payment and shift hours? At this point, I gave up looking for part-time because it wasn't worth the effort for such a generic job. Why would I work and learn something that I have no interest in whatsoever, even if those skills were "useful" to me? Have I gone insane? Or am I just a laughing stock to those who are able to get part-time jobs? Is it okay for me to have such malicious thoughts about part-time employment?

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Loneliness replies: 4

There's 7 days till school begins for me, and I feel apprehensive replies: 2

Im Done replies: 3

Compulsive lying - support, advice etc? replies: 14

Feeling very alone and I feel like no support I ask for is enough for me. replies: 1

Losing friends again and feeling lonely replies: 1

idk how to feel better replies: 1

Partner guilt trips me replies: 5

Need advice on religion, family, gender and sexuality. I know it's a lot. replies: 34

I don't understand part-time jobs. replies: 4