Young people

Pinned discussions

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

what's wrong with me? (super long, sorry!)

replies: 3

Hey, this is my first post and I'm not really sure how to start. I'm more just trying to express my feelings than writing a structured paragraph so apologies if it makes no sense. I just want somewhere I can let out all this stuff I've been thinking about for so long. I hate myself. Don't get me wrong, some days I feel normal- I think about my life and feel like everything has the potential to work out with a little effort. I try and keep up a routine by running daily, practicing instruments, etc. But then there are times when I look in the mirror and just hate everything I see. If I really think about myself there is not a single think about myself that isn't flawed. Nose? Legs? Eyelashes? Ew. I know these things are just material and subjective to personal opinion but there is not a single thing about myself that I like. Logically I understand that I should be grateful for having a functioning body and I absolutely appreciate that I am "healthy" but it feels like my being alive is just a waste- of resources, of time, of energy. I am always reminded of my flaws every time I start accepting how I look. "You should go on a diet, your legs are so fat." I know they are just trying to prevent me from having regrets in the future but even when I skipped meals and started running nothing changed, I would always be ugly in their eyes. Then there are times when I'm too happy. I love myself and the world seems brighter, I hug everyone and everything makes me smile and dance. Even in the moment I know this feeling is unnatural but all I want is to stay this happy forever... because in that moment, I have nothing to worry about. I look back at all the things I felt negative about (like I will probably do to this post) and laugh at how stupid those insecurities are. I'm amazing! These moods come out of nowhere and don't even have triggers sometimes. I have lots of "friends" but I feel like no one truly knows me. I'm completely different around them to when I'm alone with my own thoughts; no one has ever seen me react out of proportion to the event (happy, sad, angry, etc) "you're so happy lmao ily" which makes everyone feel fake, even though it's my own fault for not opening up. I don't think anyone could handle it if I told them how bad I felt sometimes. Being judged is what I hate most and it's impossible that I wouldn't become "so broken/weak she needs a shrink". It just hurts because there's no one I can talk to when I need it. I hate me. Sorry. I'm fine though.

Nothing to look forward to

replies: 1

This weekend I turned 18 and had the most amazing time, but since then I have been feeling really really down. It suddenly feels like I have nothing to look forward to. Last year I was looking forward to getting my licence, going to europe, graduating, finishing the hsc, going away for christmas, starting uni and then my 18th birthday. And now, I feel lost. My boyfriend is going to europe this year with his friends and I am so happy for him. Now I just feel like I only have things not to look forward to, exams, winter, him going away, my parents cutting off support to me because i’m 18 now. I’m just feeling really scared and I am not excited about the future. (I have being diagnosed with GAD, my mum and sister have depression)

My parents are making me miserable

replies: 1

Hello! I'm new here and desperately need someone to talk to. I'm 21 and still living with my parents but I want to move out, however, it's hard to find work because of my age, and that I am at university. Anyways, the issue lies with my parents. I had a terrible childhood which resulted in depression, anxiety and PTSD, with my mother, and I thought it would be fine after I moved in with my dad and future stepmother. After therapy, my depression wasnt as bad but I swear it's coming back. My parents are confusing. They often say one thing but then it changes after. I wanted to study something I would enjoy. They were supportive but after a sudden "pricate" discussion, they now think I will regret it because I'm not studying something that would make me more money. I dont care about money except for moving out. I just feel like they dont appreciate my feelings. I'm passionate about writing and will be studying English and creative writing, but according to them, I will never find a job when i told them my degree will let me be a teacher. I just dont know what to do. I cant talk to them because they turn it around so I feel like the bad guy and they are the victim. This also goes with them complaining about money before wasting it on alcohol, my stepmother talking down to me while treating her son (who is my age) like a prince. Commenting that I am too skinny before complaining about me buying food for myself. I cant tell them that the way they talk to me makes me feel down about myself. It's hard because I have no passion for science, maths or anything he enjoys. I just feel like they dont care for my mental health. I hope this makes sense. They basically complain about almost everything I do. That i cant look after myself, that I dont clean properly, that i talk back when i just want to voice my opinion, that I am unladylike. Ugh... i just. I just dont know anymore. I mean, i cant even tell jokes anymore because they cant tell when i am being serious or not. I feel like my step mother has changed my dad and i hate to say it, but i just feel no joy around my father like i used to. Please give advice. I just dont know who to turn to.

My weight stops me from being meim

replies: 23

I’m 24 and I’ve struggled for my entire life with my weight. It’s something that feels so out of my control I feel trapped in my own body. I’ve always hated the way I look no matter how hard I try to surround myself with body positivity, I can see it in others but have never been able to give myself the same allowance to look different. I’ve tried going to the gym 7 days a week, cutting one meal out a day, eating super healthy, nothing every changes my body.. I feel like it’s impossible to lose any weight at all. I have some of the most beautiful friends and I’m at an age where we go out and my friends meet boys and some are in serious relationships now, and those who aren’t almost always get attention when we go out. But never me. It’s piling up so much to be the one every single time who gets ignored. I do my make up, my hair, buy clothes for my body and still see the only solution to be lose 40kgs. I run through scenarios in my head where if I were given the option to give up 5 years of my life to be skinny, would I? The answer is always yes and this terrifies me. I feel like I’m destined to be overweight and alone forever and as someone with so much love for people this my biggest fear. I’m otherwise the life of every party, I feel like if I did ever talk to someone about this they wouldn’t believe me because i come off so happy and care free all the time. I have amazing friends and can logically assess my life and see how much amazing stuff I have around me.. but I genuinely feel like the way I feel about my body stops me from living the life I want to live and I feel trapped. My family aren’t overweight, I’ve had friends who could lose weight, why is it just me who is stuck like this? I’m logically minded and i know i should focus on al the good stuff in my life but I can’t. I’m finding myself leaving parties early or avoiding situations all together where i know I’ll be the only one going home alone.. which is scary because this is not me. Every time a guy does show interest, it’s one day and I never hear from him again. I just keep thinking when will it be my turn to be happy and have someone love me for me? Or when will I be able to find a way to love me? i just had to unload.. thank you to anyone who listened.. I hope your nights are better

Complications with mum- should I move out?

replies: 2

I would like advice of if I should move out and what the best option is? Should I rent with a friend, go into a share house or put deposit on house. im 22 , still living with mum to save up for my future , but it’s the constant cycle of her and I fighting, it’s her way or no way, she doesn’t see any one else point of view, she emotinal abuses me it’s a negative environment she doesn’t want to change her attitude or see someone about it. At least I am seeing a therapist what do you think my best option is of moving out for my mental health and to be happy?? Thank you

I dont have anyone I trust to talk too

replies: 1

My biggest anxiety is that I feel worthless, I have so many friends but every single one of those friendships are hollow and I want someone that really makes an effort with me and that I feel I can open up too and that they actually would care enough to listen and love me. I don't have any family I am close too & I am also an only child, so I feel like I really have no one. I am in my young 20's and everyone is so busy in life, with boyfriends, jobs which I totally understand but time after time I feel like I am giving so much into a friendship and then nothing is returned. It has gotten to the point that now when I am in a social setting and can't cope, I break down alone and start punching myself because I feel like there is something wrong with me and I need to punish myself for not having those relationships with people it seems like everyone else has.

I am sick and tired.

replies: 1

Hi. Thank you to anyone who tries to answer my question. I will most probhably sound like a child, my problems arent even as serious. So my issues go waaay back into high school, but i would predominantly like to talk about whats happening now. I really hate myself. And i hate the fact that i hate myself. I am self aware. I know that its unhealthy to hate yourself and have no self esteem. Its probhably the reason why i am always alone and secluded - maybe people can see that i am not confident and am just trying to be fake. Most people say "love yourself". Books say "have a positive mindset and you'll always find something good". BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE WHEN YOU HATE EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT YOURSELF!!!! I look disgusting. I am overweight. I am not the high acheiver i used to be. I dont feel intelligent anymore. I am weird. I am not that nerdy that i would sit all day studying but i aint the extreme party animal either. I am unconventional and that makes me stand out, but what does that do? Makes me isolated cause everyone thinks i am cringy or too rigid or too studious or too whatever- they ll find a hundred words. I thought my weirdness makes me unique. But ofcourse, i can see its the complete opposite, cause no one really takes me to be a long standing friend. I dont fit into any group. I was a confident, robust, fearless individual. Now, i sit quiet in lectures while others shout the answers and get ahead. Why? Where did my fierce self go? I dont know. My old friends, the ones i am no longer in touch with. They all post stuff and are enjoying their lives. They have found new people. Why do i feel like i am the only one having trouble making friends? I do go up and introduce myself, i do go up and make small talk. No use. I go to an amazing uni, and am trying things that i never did before. But i am afraid to post anything i want to. What makes me scared or concious? I DONT KNOW. Its annoying how i know that my low self esteem is holding me back on everything. I could be living a much more fulfilling life today. But i dont see how i am supposed to switch my thinking because i have nothing in me that i am proud of. I am looked deep down so hard, and everything that looks maybe nice feels insignificant because no one cares about those qualities. Ultimately, i just feel like a mess. I really dont know what to do with myself. I am sick and tired of crying and feeling lonely and disgusted at myself. Can someone maybe tell me what to do?

Relationships Causing Depression

replies: 3

Hi, I have a bit of a confusing situation, but first a little but of a back story. I have was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and severe Depression about 10 years ago. Every time I am in a relationship my depression has gotten worse to a point where it end because of it. My last relationship ended almost 3 years ago. After that ended, I went into study, got a great job, going into my dream career and my depression was literally gone. First time in years and all because I was single. A few weeks ago I met a new guy. Very happy and there is absolutely nothing wrong so far. No emotional manipulation. No abuse of any kind. Supportive and the communication is great (which is rare for me) But my depression has come back full blown despite being on the same dose of my anti depressant I had for the las 3ish years. I have no idea why this is happening to me and I am scared it's going to end this relationship too. Literally there is nothing wrong in the relationship at this stage besides maybe it's going too fast... Anyone have any advice?

Lost?

replies: 1

Hi, I'm 17, in year 12 and I'm feeling very lost. I feel like it's hard for me to be happy on a day-to-day basis. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and ever since last year I spent half the time with my mum and the other half of the week with my dad. My dad has remarried - my stepmother had two kids from a previous marriage - and now I have two half sisters as well. Now I spend the whole week at my mums and go to my dads Friday night and return to my mum's Saturday afternoons. In the past I have had issues with my stepmother, though currently we are on good terms. My 'real' mum and I, while I love her, we have our difficulties. She has been diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety and depression but has them under control. I feel she sometimes has unrealistic expectations and whilst she is able to talk about mental health, I feel when I talk to her she doesn't understand me. A lot of times I feel a disconnect and when we do communicate, our brains are just on two different paths. We argue often and overall at home I feel like I am a trapped bird. Then there's school. Whilst I have a relatively good situation at school, I feel I lack motivation and get annoyed by competitive peers. I know that school is an important thing for me. I want to do well and know it will benefit my future... though knowing this does not help me find a purpose. My friends aren't the type to hang out often and though we hang out morning tea and lunch, I feel somehow there is a disconnect (no this is not me being anti-social, though it may be a cause). I feel I overall lack purpose, not having a fantastic social life, 'normal' family or current hobbies. When I get depressive thoughts, a lot of the time, I can manage them effectively myself. However things are starting to crumble and my ability to block these out are becoming diminished. Honestly, it's a lot to do with purpose and not seeing any point in doing anything anymore. Re-reading this, all this information may seem irrelevant, however I feel somehow it relates to my current state of mind. Hope someone can relate

My boyfriend broke up with me because he stopped loving me last week. Is it depression or something else?

replies: 1

Hi, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and we’re best friends for 2 years before that. We moved in together with some housemates 3 months ago and I have thought that we were the best we’ve ever been. I recently got diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and have been working a lot of late nights only getting more exhausted. I recently asked him for the help and am worried that it has scared him off. The break up is confusing me completely. He has said that last week he just stopped loving me and never had. However, 3 weeks ago he was talking about buying a house together, kids, and how great we were together. I don’t understand how within 1 week he could just stop; he is adamant that he only stopped then. There has been no signs of our relationship struggling and even everyone living around us is completely shocked as it has come out of the blue. He has kicked me out of the house at the moment so I don’t have anywhere to live, making it hard to work and also detrimental to my chronic fatigue. He has really hurt me as I have lost everything (my home, work access, and my personal love). I do believe that he does still love me and is hiding something. He has also been going through a lot. His work schedule has been exhausting, along with his heavy uni load as well. He also is still getting over a major sports injury and cannot play football or basketball this year. I am worried that he is depressed and not wanting to admit it and instead pushing me away. I want to help because I love him more than anything and see him all the way in my future. But I also need to be conscious of my own health right now, and don’t want to be too pushy and cause a toxic relationship between us. Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts on this situation?

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

what's wrong with me? (super long, sorry!) replies: 3

Nothing to look forward to replies: 1

My parents are making me miserable replies: 1

My weight stops me from being meim replies: 23

Complications with mum- should I move out? replies: 2

I dont have anyone I trust to talk too replies: 1

I am sick and tired. replies: 1

Relationships Causing Depression replies: 3

Lost? replies: 1

My boyfriend broke up with me because he stopped loving me last week. Is it depression or something else? replies: 1