Young people

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New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

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I am a bad friend.

replies: 2

I recently had a rude awakening when someone I considered a close friend (dare I even say a sister) called me out for some of my toxic behaviours. For context, I had told this friend, along with a small group of people that I trusted, about various situations that took place in my life over the last two years- and some of the people who were hearing me tell this story were even present during the time that some of these things were happening. According to the friend group, a lot of these stories I was telling were considered "rude" and "more like rumours" even though I had said that these renditions of the stories were what I had either experienced or heard from the people actually involved first-hand. I had tried to apologise- but (according to almost every person I had written an apology to) I had written it so poorly that they assumed I had used ChatGPT to write and didn't actually mean anything, and then when I tried to have a one-on-one discussion with the close friend, they ignored my messages. I then began to notice that they had begun to remove me from some of the platforms and spaces that we were using to communicate. I had then decided that they probably wanted me to leave, so I left the platform. They then made multiple social media posts using screenshots from our chats (which I wrote and told them because I trusted them enough to say it and vice versa) basically painting me as the bad guy. My final straw was when they contacted my parents and basically sent them all the stuff I told them in confidence and tried to make it seem like I was just some evil person. I probably could've made my apology better, but I've never been good with words, and so when I was trying to fix things, I was more taking actions and steps to actually stop the toxic behaviours that they called me out for. I lost a whole friend group from that. But I understand that it was my fault, I'm just really upset that my attempt at trying to save those friendships went terribly.

Food

replies: 1

Hi, So I have been struggling with food for a while now. Now and then I will eat a lot of food to the point that it has surpassed fullness, and I just feel sick. It has been going on and off since I was 17 (now 20) but has gotten worse in the last year and a half. My main issue has been sugar and I have been using a routine where I eat sugar on two specific days each week to regulate the craving, but today I binged again. I feel immensely guilty and feel like trash after each binge and when I see the weight gain it ruins my whole day. On top of that I worry about calories whenever I go out to eat, searching for lowest calories options at any restaurant I go to, and now I cannot enjoy eating out anymore. Eating out causes me stress and often I find myself wanting to cancel plans just to avoid it. This was a recent development (last 6 months) after coming off of dieting for 6months, and I am worried I can never get over it. I am terrified that I will never not be able to stop binging and while now its far fewer and far in between, it still happens and that scares me. When I do it, I become so moody and my day becomes ruined and I cannot control it. I feel so lost. I considered therapy but I am a student and cannot afford it. Anyday advice would be greatly appreciated.

Can't wrap my head around university

replies: 3

Hello I am currently in my first year of my Bachelor of Education and I feel like I'm drifting. I can't finish assignments on time and leave them till the last minute, don't understand the content, mess up all my enrolment, don't go to class. I feel like a loser and a failure. I have already dropped out of uni once and even though my dream is to become a teacher, I just can't crack it. I can't focus and I just don't understand what is going on ever.I can't function as an adult and it makes me feel horrible about myself. I feel like I am constantly making the wrong decision.

Advice

replies: 3

Hi, I am having trouble with a situation and it has being bothering me a lot (making my emotions go up and down). So I was at uni and taking a drama storytelling class and the teacher, who is a casual made me feel uncomfortable. When my partner and I were asked to perform to a group we were assign, she came over to ‘help’ us with the other part of the acting. I was nervous because I had never done acting, so my body was stiff. After she told my partner what to do she turned to me and said something like you have to stay in character and not act like me who is back is hunched over and she proceeded to hunch over to show me what she was saying. During the moment I kind of smiled and didn’t feel anything. I just did what she was told and acted in character. She walked away without looking at me and said “Turn to the audience”. The group who were watching us saw and another 2 groups also was in the room. After this, she continued to show my partner what to do and as I was nervous and not sure what to do I just stayed still in my character’s position and my body facing the audience (because I remembered her telling me turn to the audience) She saw this and signed, pushed my right side of my waist to make me turn to her. This was when I felt weird. She acted it out and showed my partner how to do the acting. When we sat down for the discussion, the wild negative emotions came rushing to me. I felt like I was not respected and humiliated. Writing this really brought back the bad memories. For a few days I have been thinking if I was too sensitive, taking thing too personally or I have a fragile heart/mindset. However, on the other hand it’s taking a toll on my emotions. I really need some help with this. I would really appreciate if someone could help me with changing this mindset so it doesn’t make me feel emotional.

Advice?

replies: 1

Hi, I’m Belle. I’m a LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent teenager. I had some rumours spread about me back when I was in year six, and people still believe a lot of those. Due to that, I don’t have many friends.I made a friend last year, but she ended up being really abusive. And after having several abusive friends in the past, and going through a few situations that have led to some trauma. I’m now afraid to make new friends. Because I’m scared they will hurt me.However, I’ve had two friends throughout my school life. One of them is in my mother’s group and I met the other during class. But both of them have become obsessed with dating, and boys. The girl from my mother’s group had recently gotten more quiet, and annoyed at me. I’m not sure why. This led to her making me leave her alone, and be by myself. I ended up needing to go to a teacher, and spend lunch in my classroom.I can only be myself when she is in a good mood. And my other friend is distancing herself from me during the day.I’m in a class with zero friends, and like I said. I’m too scared to make friends. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? Because life is getting pretty tough, and I’m getting quite lonely.

I have no friends, cannot make friends and am crushingly lonely. Please help.

replies: 7

I made this account literally just to post this, and I’m not sure if anyone will care, but if the brochures from the mental health spokespeople in school mean anything, then I suppose this is a place that can help. For the past 6 years, I have felt like someone who nobody wanted to be friends with. I’ve floated around different groups, only for them to treat me like shit and be rejected. I put so much time and energy into making new friends every year to replace the old ones I lose, only for them to leave me as well. I try explaining it to people, nobody and I mean nobody can help, it’s always just the same recycled responses “oh just reach out” “make new friends” “see new people” yeah, as if I haven’t tried that 100 times already. Honestly, I am always the third wheel in a friendship. Years of being people’s second or last choice or never even a choice at all has left me in a state where I am completely incapable of feeling wanted or worth anything. I tell myself that things will get better, and I tell myself that I’ll get new friends but the cycle just repeats over and over and over. I can’t tell my parents, I can’t have them worried, and they wouldn’t understand. I love them but this is something that I don’t think they can help with. I feel crushingly lonely constantly. It is truly horrible. I feel like that outside of my immediate family there is not a soul who cares about me on this planet. I need to know that my experience isn’t unique. I need someone to be able to relate with me. I need to know that I’m not just the freak show who is physically incapable of forming meaningful friendships. I don’t know if anybody is going to read this, I don’t know if anybody cares. But, if my mental breakdown 1 AM forum post graces your screen, please, tell me you relate.

Advice

replies: 1

Hi, I just need advice on actually getting a mental health assessment, I actually feel like I do need one at the moment because lately my mental health has just been really going down. I don't know how to bring this up to my parents, because they're kind of the types who don't believe in mental health. But I've kind of just been downplaying my feelings at the moment, thinking that it's probably just because I'm on my period and it's kind of just maybe stress. I just have no clue what to do anymore.

lost

replies: 3

Hello,I'm currently in Year 12 and I've been feeling pretty lost and unmotivated lately. A big part of it is that I’m unsure about what I want to study at university, or what career I want to pursue in the future. I signed up for the UCAT mostly because everyone around me was aiming for medicine, and since I had initially considered physiotherapy, I thought medicine might just be a more secure, better-paying path.But I’ve come to realise that I’m struggling to stay on top of my subjects — I chose content-heavy courses (because I wasn't planning to do the UCAT at first but also because I was doing well in those subjects), and on top of that, I’ve experienced an unexpected academic drop this year that’s shaken my confidence and my UCAT preparation is going pretty poorly as well.Right now, I don’t feel like there’s anything I’m particularly good at, and I’m scared of choosing something too difficult (like actuarial studies) in case I fail and end up wasting time and money switching degrees. I’m also hesitant about physiotherapy now because I’ve heard the pay isn’t great.I think a lot of this confusion comes from not really having much experience with the real world or a clear idea of what different careers are actually like.Does anyone have any advice on how to figure out what degree or career path might be a good fit?(Also I've talked to my careers advisor before and they didn't really help me much).

I'm a horrible person who doesn't know how to be respectful???

replies: 2

I'm not okay. I feel very upset and awful. I haven't been able to study (even though I have final uni exams coming up next week), eat or just experience a willingness to continue living on for the past two days. I have been told that I am disrespectful and 'bully' by many many members on a social platform for giving advice to someone on a social platform that they should try to understand another person's perspective before expressing their own on the matter so that the person doesn't feel misunderstood. I ended up deleting my account. Prior to deleting my account, I made a post saying how I'm crying badly whilst hiding in the bathroom and I would like some support even if it is just hugging emojis or hearts....but despite this the members who said I was disrespectful provided no support. It almost seems like their support is dependent on 'the side' they take rather than non-discriminatingly providing support for those in need. I hate such selective support -

Dropping out

replies: 3

Hi, My name is Ida. My father is telling me of dropping out, im not sure what to do if i drop out. So i want some advice for if i do drop out. I didnt want to be tutored for year 11 today since ive been really tired. So i want to find a job near me. ... View more

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

I am a bad friend. replies: 2

Food replies: 1

Can't wrap my head around university replies: 3

Advice replies: 3

Advice? replies: 1

I have no friends, cannot make friends and am crushingly lonely. Please help. replies: 7

Advice replies: 1

lost replies: 3

I'm a horrible person who doesn't know how to be respectful??? replies: 2

Dropping out replies: 3