Young people

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New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

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Want to drop uni but scared

replies: 2

I am in my final year of uni. Unfortunately, I haven’t been interested in the possible career outcomes from my degree since second year but didn’t drop because I felt people would be disappointed if I did. Now I am in my final year and it’s all placements. I failed my 11 weeks clinical placement and I’m really struggling with that. I didn’t get any feedback or any indication that I wouldn’t pass so I felt blind sided and my mental health really plummeted. I wanted to drop out then but was told by a uni supervisor that she was confident I would pass doing another two weeks in the clinic. So even though I went through the worst days of my life I studied hard and decided to give it another chance. I just finished that two weeks at the clinic and still have not passed even though I checked in with my supervisor constantly so I wouldn’t feel blindsided again, and I did everything they told me I needed to do to pass but apparently I need to go back for another two weeks to work on my self confidence. But how can I work on my confidence when every ounce of it has been ripped out of me. Also to mention the two more weeks would be in October. I can’t be anxious and feel awful everyday leading up to the two weeks to potentially not pass again. I don’t know how id get through that. I know it’s ’only Two weeks’ and should try again but I have tried again and done the extra two weeks but now need to do longer. I’ve been told all placement that there are no jobs/very hard to get employment and heard from students who’ve graduated before me still have no jobs. I’ve also been told by supervisors that they regret doing this degree and wish they did something else. Why put myself through this if I don’t want to work in this field but even if I did would struggle gaining employment/ be taken advantage of (which is what we’ve also been told- new grads get taken advantage of and do shit work getting shit money) So I’m struggling with the idea of going back because I’m embarrassed that I’m not good enough and anxious over the idea of facing these uni people again (when they told me I still haven’t passed the second time over video I was crying hysterically and couldn’t breath because I went in to the meeting thinking I passed) but also have no passion or desire to use this degree to work in the related field. I don’t want to go back but I’m terrified of making this decision and would do anything to not have to go through this. I know it sounds like nothing, but I can’t face being told I didn’t pass again, I don’t know if I would get through it. I’m also scared of what my family and friends will say if I drop or defer. I’m thinking of finishing this other degree I started instead because I only have a year left and there’s actually jobs that pay good. I just feel stuck and hopeless and don’t want to face making this decision but I have two weeks to decide.

lost

replies: 2

Hello,I'm currently in Year 12 and I've been feeling pretty lost and unmotivated lately. A big part of it is that I’m unsure about what I want to study at university, or what career I want to pursue in the future. I signed up for the UCAT mostly because everyone around me was aiming for medicine, and since I had initially considered physiotherapy, I thought medicine might just be a more secure, better-paying path.But I’ve come to realise that I’m struggling to stay on top of my subjects — I chose content-heavy courses (because I wasn't planning to do the UCAT at first but also because I was doing well in those subjects), and on top of that, I’ve experienced an unexpected academic drop this year that’s shaken my confidence and my UCAT preparation is going pretty poorly as well.Right now, I don’t feel like there’s anything I’m particularly good at, and I’m scared of choosing something too difficult (like actuarial studies) in case I fail and end up wasting time and money switching degrees. I’m also hesitant about physiotherapy now because I’ve heard the pay isn’t great.I think a lot of this confusion comes from not really having much experience with the real world or a clear idea of what different careers are actually like.Does anyone have any advice on how to figure out what degree or career path might be a good fit?(Also I've talked to my careers advisor before and they didn't really help me much).

Does anyone else feel like there's nothing? What have you found happiness in?

replies: 3

I'm 18. Never been invited to a party, never really had any friends, embarrassed myself a lot when I was younger. I don't have any dreams, I don't get good grades, I don't have a life, I don't have any hobbies, I don't have anything that brings me joy. My parents just want me to study all day so I can't do a whole lot anyway. I kind of just exist. I have a few friends but we aren't close. I feel like a lot of people think I'm weird because I've never drunk or done drugs or dated before as well. I'm not introverted, I'm a bit extroverted in fact, but I'm a little bit autistic probably, and some people find me offputting. I'm also a bit ugly, though I don't think that should be a huge problem, it just doesn't help. Yeah that's it though. I just exist and have no hopes and dreams. My ATAR is gonna be shit. I did terribly in a bunch of tests which ruin all my good results. I just feel like my life has been kind of pointless and I just don't care about anything anymore. There only thing I want to do that I'm good at is write for television but I won't make it because of nepotism and living in this country and my parents would not support me and I am financially dependant on them so I obviously cannot pursue this. Anyone else feel like this? Anyone who felt like this in the past - what made you feel joy again?

dont have any friends

replies: 3

I don’t really have any friends right now, and to be honest, I didn’t really have them in high school either. A lot of it felt forced or fake. I always hoped uni would be different, that I’d find “my people”, but it’s been the opposite.University has felt really isolating. Everyone seems busy, caught up in their own world, and it’s rare that anyone really talks or makes an effort to hang out. I’ve tried putting myself out there, joining things, starting conversations, but it never seems to lead anywhere lasting. It’s starting to feel really disheartening. Because of it, I’ve noticed I can’t study like I used to. I used to push through things on my own, but now it just feels... exhausting. There’s something really heavy about doing everything alone all the time from lectures to lunch breaks. I never thought the loneliness would affect me this much, but it’s honestly been creeping in.

How do you restart your life.

replies: 2

Recently moved to a new area. Not necessarily by choice but probably for the best, I’d been homeless the past few years living in my car and couch surfing friends houses. My partner of 6 years at the time cheated on me with one of my best mates. Not long after I got with a new girl and all of my friends turned on me out of jealousy I presume so I had no more friends houses to stay at and my car broke down for good so I had nowhere to go at all so me and the new girlfriend packed up and restarted life in a different town. 8 months in and we hit a bit of turbulence in the relationship and she’s decided to move back out. So I’m now trying to pick up the pieces and restart my life again in a new town. I just don’t understand how to make new friends as a young adult. All my previous friends were from school days which seemed so easy to make friends then. But in a new area where I don’t know anyone and have nobody to rely on I’m not sure how or where to meet new people.

Moving houses - grieving my current home

replies: 3

Hi guys, I’m 22 years old. On Thursday night, me and my family were told that our house (that we rent) was going to be sold and auctioned off. Although the landlord has given us 3 months to prepare to move, we’ve managed to find a place on Saturday and are moving immediately on Wednesday. Even though it’s good we found a place so quickly, I’ve been grieving the thought of abandoning my current home and the memories (both good and bad) created in it. I’ve been crying non-stop last night. I worried about how we’re going to fit the stuff that we need in our new home. My dad reassured me that we will work out how to fit our stuff in the house and told me to not stress out too much but I can’t help it. I’ve been in my home for 10 years (since I was 13). This has been the longest I’ve stayed at a home since my previous one which lasted about 7 years. I’ll miss everything. The physical things such as having a front and back yard with actual grass and space, the rooms, how I’ve decorated my own space, the street…; and the sentimental things such as the moments created. As a result, I’ve contemplated saving up for a home loan so that we don’t have to experience these things in the future. This has only resulted in me grieving the house more as home loans are difficult to get, saving up takes a lot of time and sacrifices, and buying a proper house which is 100K-700K is virtually impossible (especially where I live). I feel jaded and at a loss of what to do. I still have many things to do unrelated to housing but now I can’t stop worrying about this. I’ve barely made any progress in cleaning out + packing up my stuff since the news. I know it’s for the better but I can’t let go of it.

is there still hope for my atar

replies: 4

Hiback in yr 11 i was doing pretty well like my grades were good and i played sports but i dont know why everything went wrong in year 12 and it's not even because of some external reason. I just know it all started with one subject that i used to be doing really good at which, on my first yr 12 exam, i basically failed and then it just spread to my other subjects one by one. If I do good at one, I do bad in another. I even quit sports to focus solely on studying but it was no use. This term it was especially bad because i was under average in all my subjects and by a lot as well. I don't know i feel like all the goals i had from before have just evaporated because theyre unreachable now. I dont get why i suddenly did bad in the only year when my marks are meant to count and now im just depressed and unmotivated to continue studying because this is the result every time.

I hate school so much.

replies: 1

I hate going to school sometimes. Every time I think or have any enthusiasm for school, it always goes wrong. I also have this one "friend" who isn't a friend keeps on insulting my looks and making me feel awful. I know I'm pretty though, but I just hate people insult my looks as if they aren't normal, like I have the most normal face, like average face you see at school. I hate school so much. That friend is NOT my friend no more.

Limerence. Loneliness.

replies: 3

Hey y'all, I'm Veric and I feel like shit. I've had limerence for the past year now for this guy I met when I was gaming. We've known each other for two years now, and the limerent feelings started as I got to know him a lot better and found out we actually live in the same city. Fast forward to now, we still haven't met IRL. I know he doesn't have any feelings back and I'm fully aware that it's all unrequited. He's definitely become a friend and has even met my own closest friends. There are times we don't talk for weeks and I know I shouldn't expect us to be constantly talking, but there's no reciprocation at times. I feel lonely especially my mates all got their own partners and I'm naturally on my own most of the time. I've been trying to distract myself with my hobbies and other things, but he was the one that I talked or just virtually hung out with when I was alone. I've been doing well trying to do no contacts and lessen the amount of times we talk. I have no idea with I should let this thing go. I'm just making myself miserable and I wanna protect my peace and energy. It's definitely made me lonelier, but it lessened the times I became attached to him. I've been working on myself for the past six months trying to understand all these feelings and ways I gotta handle myself. If anyone has gone through limerence before or even just unrequited love, I would appreciate any advice and guidance as to how you've managed through it all. It would really help me out just knowing I'm not alone on this.

School troubles

replies: 3

I can remember last year where I thought that my life was great. I was getting good grades, my socializing skills were great, I lacked stress and I felt safe. However, this year, I lost all of those.It all started with my large friendgroup consisting of 8 people, I used to be included in all of their conversations. But one of the girls suddenly decided to take authority and excluded me from every conversation simply because I stopped listening to 'k-pop'. Even when I come to lunch late with other people from the friendgroup, I'm always the one being scolded and criticized. Not only do I not feel accepted with my friends but also my classmates. I used to have a close relationship with every single one of my classmates due to my constant socialising skills (I'm an ESTP) and in class I'm in this trio of girls. Nowadays, my classmates have been ignoring my existence and paying all of it on my friends from the trio. They would only talk to me for test answers or for favours and I'm tired of it. No matter how hard I try to socialise, I either be left forgotten or as the last option. I know it might sound stupid but I'm jealous, I feel alone. I even just found out that the girls in my trio hung out without me and them and my friendgroup have groupchats that didn't have me in it.Plus, on my birthday, every single friend forgot my birthday, and when I told them they just brushed it off and told me it was no big deal. Yet, when it's someone else's birthday, although I'm closer with my friends, my friends bombard them with gifts and happy birthday songs. I just can't help but feel excluded and forgotten by everybody. The group I used to feel safe with no longer makes me feel belonged.Furthermore, my grades have been going down and my stress have been skyrocketing high. My school gives students a bunch of learning tasks and I used to be able to keep up with them. But recently, I've been so focused on all of my friendship issues and cramped test schedules that I can't sleep, study or even find ways to seek happiness. My whole life is a mess. I used to get grades that was 95% at minimum, and now I'm stuck at 66% in only 6 months.I'm so tired of this feeling but I can't tell what feeling it is. I just want to live my life. Is that too hard to ask?(sorry if the grammar and fluency of this post is horrible, I'm just writing directly from what I'm feeling)

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

Want to drop uni but scared replies: 2

lost replies: 2

Does anyone else feel like there's nothing? What have you found happiness in? replies: 3

dont have any friends replies: 3

How do you restart your life. replies: 2

Moving houses - grieving my current home replies: 3

is there still hope for my atar replies: 4

I hate school so much. replies: 1

Limerence. Loneliness. replies: 3

School troubles replies: 3