Are the feelings im feeling normal?
My name is Bailey im 15yr and I don't know if what I am feeling is normal?
Just about a month ago I've started to realise that what I have been feeling may not be normal. I've been feeling emotionless for about 2 years and about a year ago I have also started to lose a lot of interests I had, about 6 months ago I've also realised all of the feelings of being emotionless, overwhelmed, stressed, losing interests and my sleep schedule not being as good as it use to be has started effecting my school work. I have had an unstable younger childhood for my whole life up to a year ago so that may be a reason for these feelings.
Are these feeling normal? And if the aren't what should I do?
Overall your feelings, that of low emotion, confusion, lost enthusiasm for your interests is normal for your age. However so is the opposite- high emotion, anger, even excesses. Such is the roller coaster of teenage years.
I can assure you that a little more maturity will likely lead to stability however we all can do with some assistance sometimes.
Have you got a school counsellor to consult? If not a family doctor?
Please have faith that things do eventually get better and life becomes exciting and rewarding especially when you've worked hard to achieve your goals.
Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members. We can hear from your post that you have been struggling with these feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed for a while and hope you acknowledge the effort and fortitude you have displayed just persevering, despite feeling as though you are ‘emotionless’.
Please know that there is no ‘normal’ as everybody’s experiences and feelings are unique to them, sometimes we can feel as though we are emotionless, but this may be a barrier or defense to guard your mental state. As you mention having an unstable childhood, the ongoing stresses still occurring and feeling overwhelmed, these pressures over an extended period can result in a reduction in outside interests, hobbies and gradually self-care such as sleeping and eating habits. But recognizing this pattern and reaching out for help is the first step and we hope you acknowledge the bravery it takes to share your stary and ask for assistance.
As suggested by TonyWK, we would highly recommend discussing your feeling with your family G.P as they are an excellent point of first contact to receive advice and assistance on accessing local services. Also, if your school does have a counsellor this would be a great professional to engage with and discuss your current feelings. We have also provided the links for some counselling services below.
If you want to discuss this in more detail or would prefer to have a conversation about any current issue, we recommend contacting the Beyond Blue counselling team. By engaging via phone or chat the counsellors can provide advice and support, please contact either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
Also, if you have not engaged with them before we would also recommend Kids helpline on 1800 55 1800 or at https://kidshelpline.com.au/ . This service is available to anyone 25 years old and under.
We hope that you find the support and direction that you are seeking on the forums. Once again, we are so glad you have joined the forums and we hope that you feel welcomed into the community.
Hello Bailey, if you went to see a doctor then they could say exactly what Tony has said, if however, they knew this has been happening for over two years, then they may have a different approach to your situation and suggest medication.
There is an online test for depression 'test for depression online' and try and do this several times, but at other times than the previous time.
Let us know how you get on.
Hello Baileyjoyce, thanks for getting back to us.
These online tests are just an indication, but normally you know yourself how you are feeling and by talking with a therapist will free you of this wonder and if they believe you have depression of any type, then help can begin.
We think we can achieve many things in life, and yes that's so possible, but with mental illness, we need help and guidance to overcome this.
You can teach yourself to do so many things, but with depression 'you can't see the forest for the trees', try and have a chat, then you will know.
A warm welcome to you as you come here in search of better understanding yourself and the way forward. I have to say you're such a conscious person, questioning so much at this stage of life.
Personally, I'm one of those people who rely so heavily on better understanding my feelings, what I'm feeling when it comes to certain situations or challenges in life. I've found, in the process of coming to understand 'feelings', it pays to develop a constructive kind of language which can help form a clearer picture.
- How does 'emotionless' feel? If 'emotion' could be described as a kind of mental/physical energy in motion, can you not feel a lot of that energy these days? When thinking about 'excitement' and what kind of feel it has to it, is it hard to feel that kind of mental/physical energy at work?
- How does 'overwhelm' and 'stress' feel? Do you feel like there's way too much of these things in your life? If you were to trust what you feel and the fact that your feelings are telling you something important, do you think they're telling you there's a need for help and guidance when it comes to managing overwhelm and stress? With stress partly being about mental/physical states of hyperactivity, we can only put up with that kind of hyperactivity before it becomes thoroughly exhausting. It can also interfere with our sleep: With sleep helping restore energy levels, this becomes doubly exhausting
- When it comes to losing interest in things, does it feel kind of like a general 'disconnection'? Disconnection can happen for a variety of reasons, with 2 being - little energy with which to feel connections and the connection no longer satisfying us in ways we can really feel
It's so unfair that you had to experience such an unstable childhood. Are there any adults in your life who are outstanding when it comes to how they're helping you reform your life? Any who have shown great compassion and who have listened carefully to you? If so, it sounds like it might be time to say to them something along the lines of 'I'm struggling with this stage of my life and need help getting through it'.
As a mum who encourages my 19yo daughter and 16yo son to respect their feelings (how they're feeling their way through life), I reassure my kids 'It doesn't matter what age we are, if what we're feeling is a deep need for support and guidance we gotta seriously trust that'. Is that what you're feeling mostly at the moment, the deep need for support and guidance?
-When I mean 'emotionless' I mean I feel like I don't have enough energy to express any emotions, because when I feel an emotion like 'excitement' I do feel happy for what might happen but then I will think I will feel what bad things may come along with it. so anything I may purchase that I would be excited for would I think it won't be good so I would rather go into the situation feeling neutral/emotionless so I don't feel underwhelmed or disappointed but if what happenedis better than what I was expecting I don't know how to express that emotion of happiness.
-Yes I do feel like there is to much stress and like there is to much going on even if there is nothing happening. I know that there is to much stress happening but I don't know how to manage it. i don't feel a lot of energy throughout the day and I end up going to bed at the same energy I had throughout the day even though I get 9-10hrs of sleep everyday.
-When I try new interests I feel more excited to do the activity then doing the activity itself. And when I do an activity I use to enjoy a lot like a hobby i don't feel the same enjoyment i use to so yes I am feeling disconnected from my interests.
I don't have much family to talk to because I live alone with my dad and his family is in another state and I go to my mums on the weekend every fortnight so I can talk to her much and my sisters are younger than me by three years so I cant really talk to them.
So I usually resort to valuing friends over family
I've found 'happiness' to be a pretty complex emotion. What led me to analyse it came down to wondering why I couldn't feel it at times. A few examples: Why is everyone around me so happy but I'm not? Why don't I feel as happy as other mums who have just given birth?. Why aren't I happy now that I've just bought the thing that I imagined would make me happy?
I think happiness can be dependent on a lot of factors. From a physical perspective, we've got 'happiness' chemistry which includes serotonin as being just one of the many players. Just to complicate things, a majority of serotonin is produced in the gut. So, if the gut microbiome is not happy, we're not happy. Mood and food is a fascinating area of study when it comes to depression and anxiety. Another factor can come down to certain psychological influences. If we've been raised through certain dialogue, we can experience life through that dialogue/perspective to some degree. Changing the dialogue can lead to a very different emotional experience in life. I've also found there are certain natural factors.
With what some may call the high energy emotions such as incredible excitement, pure joy, sheer happiness etc, I've found I have to have the right amount of energy to be able to experience those emotions. Another natural factor can come down to having outgrown a certain interest. I've found happiness is partly about adding ventures (adventures), not repeating the same ones over and over again 'til we get bored of them. Emotional connection, in the first place, can also play a big part. While I could attend the wedding of someone who I'm not all that attached to and feel nothing, at my nephew's wedding I couldn't control my happiness at times (I had it coming out my eyes). While I call him my nephew, he feels more like a combo of my brother, my son and the person who I absolutely adore and love while having grow up with him in my life. Our emotional connection is strong. I've also found on occasion that wonder can be far more joyful than actually having obtained the thing you've been wondering about having. Pure joy at just the thought of having it can suddenly decline once you realise it's not as great as what you imagined. I've learned to detach from the disappointment pretty quick. No point feeling ongoing disappointment. Happiness can also have a 'volume' to it. If there's not enough of it, you won't feel it, chemically or otherwise.
Yep, happiness can be far from simple.