Always feel like crying

[EKRM]

I am 23 and feel so alone. I have family that love me and amazing friends but I can't help but still feel alone. Any guy I have ever gotten close to always ends in "I'm not ready for a relationship". It's just something about me. I just want someone to want me, to want to spend time with me, want to see me. I don't really have the courage to talk about it with my friends and family- I guess I'm embarrassed..

[Sammy2012]

Im 16 and im feeling exactly the same... just lonely all the time and I feel like if one thing knocks me I will crumble and start crying, its very difficult to day to day activities and school is exhausting. Ive started to see a counsellor and it is helping a lot. Maybe if you are like me and don't want to burden friends and family or embarrass yourself by telling them, find someone who wont judge and who will listen and help you through it xx

My last two relationships went to shit because they both cheated on me and everyone else I get close to doesn't want a relationship which is very difficult because I don't have anyone at home to spend time with and talk to so I get very lonely. I aslo want someone to want me and someone to care, listen and hold me. I guess we just have to be patient our time will come around and someone will come and treat you like an angel.. you never know they could be around you right now your just not open to them because your so focused on someone wanting you. you might be missing out on someone that does want you but doesn't know how to show it. be open eyed and look out for people but remember to keep your heart locked away a little so you don't get hurt if once again someone says that they arnt looking for a relationship. x

[EKRM]

It feels so good knowing I'm not the only one feeling like this. I am just sick of being alone. If I stop at work for a second it even just at traffic lights I have to consciously tell myself not to cry. I am so sick of it I just want to be happy.  

[Narniakid]

Hi EKRM!

I am sorry to hear about your tough times - I remember feeling exactly like that. What you need to remind yourself is, only YOU can help yourself. A common thought that depression sufferers stick to is the idea that a partner/relationship will fix their problems - wrong. In some cases, it can even make it worse. Nobody has the power to change your life, expect you. If you start loving yourself, stop comparing yourself, and embracing everything you have to offer, you can do and achieve anything. Friends, partners, relationships - they don't define us. If you act confident, even if you don't necessarily feel it, people will be drawn to it. Tell yourself that only the best people who support and care about you deserve your time, tell yourself that people need to earn a place in your life. You are so special and so important, don't let anyone tell you differently.

Have faith in yourself, and soon enough, things will turn around. Love yourself and eventually, somebody else will too 🙂

Crystal

[shad0wings]

Hey there EKRM!

To me it sounds like you are experiencing symptoms of depression or something very similar (remember I am not a qualified doctor). It can never hurt to see a counsellor/psychologist about how you are feeling right now, because having great friends, family and other things but still feeling alone is common in depression. I went through the same thing, I was constantly miserable for a long time (a few years) and couldn't grasp why I was so unhappy when I have a great family, great friends, great home and things like that. I remember saying to my mum "I should be happy, I just don't understand why I'm feeling this sad!" - That is when i started getting help.

Also, having a partner/boyfriend is something that will happen in time, for now, my advice to you would be for you to focus on yourself and feeling happier. Not having a partner is not the reason for your unhappiness, it is definitely something other than that, something much deeper. You need to focus on yourself and your wellbeing before even thinking about focusing on someone else.

Everything will fall into place in time - but remember, you are the priority, good things will always follow!  

You are still young and have plenty of great experiences ahead of you! 

~ Taylor

[SeanM92]

Hey there,
While this may not be the point, its important to know that relationships dont fix things. There is an old saying," how can you love someone when you cant love yourself". while this seems kind of rude at first, what it really comes down to is you have to be able to treat yourself right an understand yourself before you can love anyone else in a way that will work and be shown back to you.It doesn't mean love in a self centered kind of way like omg im so pretty, more in a this is who i am and this is what i like to do so im going to do it. 

without drawing attention to myself, in my experiance. After my first relationship which i went into it trying to fix myself because i felt i was everything wrong in the world, it ended with me being cheated on repeatedly and i ended up on suicide watch for a year and developing agoraphobia (fear of public places). It took me 3 and a half years to release i need to understand myself and know that there is nothing wrong with who I am, if people dont like it, i just havent met the right people yet. i found pride in who i was as a person and began enjoying that i was me, that was 5 years ago and ive never looked back.

Alot of people can fall into these kinds of depressive thoughts and its hard to get out of, counseliing can help but its really up to you to decide that your better then feeling like that, you where born to be you, to flourish and live your life and really, only you can break the hold these feelings have on you. In posting here you show you have the will and you have a loving family, i believe you can do it an im sure that your friends and family will be there to help you all the way.

Dont be afraid to ask for help, your not alone in this, there are always people there for you, whether its friends and family to people online here in the forums.

Good luck and take care.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey ERKM,

Thanks for reaching out to BB!  

The important thing to remember is that you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. But it’s also important to remember that there’s a difference between alone and lonely – and you are the only one who can fill that void.

I agree that no relationship is going to help with feeling lonely.  For me, it was the first time I didn't feel like I needed a relationship that I found a good one.

Do you remember a time where you were alone but not lonely?  Maybe you were on your own baking up a storm, being crafty or going on a road trip; just because you are alone (or without company) doesn't necessarily mean you have to be lonely.  Sometimes it can be fun being on your own.

I think it might also help trying to figure out why you feel lonely in the first place - sometimes this can just be asking questions like "why do you feel lonely" or maybe it might be something a therapist can help you with.

Good luck 🙂