worried about my adult son who has bipolar and manic depression

[SueMac46]

Hi all,

I have signed few years ago, but never got around to introducing myself and what worries me and my feelings. So here I am.

it all started many years earlier, my son needed to talk to me about his problems he was experiencing which was that in his words "I feel weird in my head and my body, I don't know what's happening to me?". I just said your hormone is off and is trying to adjust as you are becoming a man in with time. that I told him he'll be fine. Within 4 months to starting high school, his behavior started to change, as to my thought it was something to do with teenager thing etc. by the time he was 15/16 he was constantly asked for money, I mean lots of money... we argued, fight just about all the time. that I haven't seen him in 4 years soon to be 5 years since May 1st 2017 was the last time I've seen him. I love him crazy, he finally told me messaging through Facebook saying he won't ask me anymore for money because if I gave it to him I won't see it anymore and he respects me a lot. His father, even since as a child he was given anything he wants, that went on to adulthood and still now his father would give him money. In with time I got help with my mental health etc. As soon I did research, walked in his shoes etc. I began to understand him how painful it must be, the confusion, depression all because he doesn't understand exactly what's happening to himself. he had tried to commit suicide 3 times... stupid hospital let him home after 12 hours stay... that was three times, I was totally disgusted after just recovering myself, and I was amess in the end I had to tell him and his girlfriend at the time (2016) to get out!!! either he was trying to get attention, but he was trying to over take my place as if it was his, the whole thing. I couldn't believe he lied. Yet, even today I forgive him (for me to let go and move on) but doesn't always take that pain away.

I just wanted to know if anyone experience similar, would help me benefit knowing I am not alone and crazy!

Sue.

[Sophie_M]

Hi SueMac46

We are so soryr to hear about your journey, it sounds like you have been through a lot. Thank you for sharing with us today and for being so honest. We can only imagine how hard it must have been to express yourself, but you never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own struggles. 

If you feel like chatting to someone, you can always give us a call on 1300 22 4636 and speak to one of our friendly team. You can also try the webchat if you prefer.

Thank you again for coming an posting, iwe can see that you have been a part of this commnity for some time as well. 

Kind regards ,
Sophie M

[Emily1000]

Hi Sue,

You are definitely not alone in this experience. I have an adult son who I worry about daily. I feel he has anxiety and depression and is self medicating with alcohol and marijuana. He has a quick temper and this has made life very challenging for him and our household. I feel like it is difficult to have peace in our home because I feel like he might get angry or flare up at any moment. I know I am really sensitive to his moods and I have such trouble separating his mood from mine because i feel on tenterhooks the whole time. I guess I have anxiety too which makes it tricky because sometimes he is just having a bad day like the rest of us and i read too much into it. I feel overly responsible for his emotions and actions. I just want to improve my own mental health so i don’t ride his rollercoaster with him. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

Warm wishes

Emily

[SueMac46]

Hi Emily,

Thank you for your reply, it was so nice to hear from you and understanding how overwhelming it is with an Adult son who struggling. When he was 15 on wards he was getting better and managing things using fish oils which surprised me as of my second eldest son had ADHD and never used medication but fish oil was the solution and helped but over the next thing, he had a came down, almost like someone with two faces, other what I can only describe is like he crashed so badly and he was feeling hopeless etc. They are both adults will be 25 and 27 this year. Anyway, as you mentioned your son uses alcohol and marijuana my son uses alcohol, and other medication (prescribe from doctor but tends to change doctors) in managing his behavior but I feel it's also to do with lots of resentment, anger (especially towards his father, we divorced many years ago). I don't want to rant on about that, I feel that its all to do pains/suffering and to numb it from feeling it (such as been confused and insane). Luckily his best mate from primary school took him in and looked out for him, which is far from what I expected but I am glad he does have few friends than nothing. I just hope he doesn't overdoes again or anything for that matter.

To be honest (may sounds horrible coming from me) I feel like he's non existed in my life. My son's has lives of their own, so I've been just trying to focus on myself and continuing counselling for myself and for other personal reason's too.

Anyway, hope you be ok. I have been working on my mental health, been healthy and practicing using mindfulness etc. To help me through, as we both know as mother's we need to look after ourselves too! I do still get days when I get really down (especially at Christmas time etc. it hard not been together and just have a great conversation which I missed dearly, especially with the past of when we were all in lockdown since 2020 when convid-19 came out).

again, thank you for the reply Emily, it was very helpful.

Susan.