Time to say hello
Today I finally realised the importance of using my voice, so here I am.
I live in a large regional city in NSW, and in my late 50s. I am widowed and have a grown up family and grandkids. I have a couple of friends who I could say are good friends, a small circle of acquaintances, a secure job and a secure roof over my head, and not living hand to mouth. My health isn't great but not too bad. But I have depression, anxiety and am a survivor of child sexual assault. I also have a sleep disorder and some other conditions that do tend to make life a bit frustrating at times.
For most of my life, I have put my needs last. I have kept quiet and pretended I was okay when I wasn't. The number of people that have seen me cry could be counted on one hand. Whenever I talk even now about how I feel, the attention of the other person (except professionals of course) seems to wane half way through. Whereas I will listen to others for as long as they need. Conversely, I talk too much at times and come across as much more sociable than I really am.
I'm hoping that I have found a safe space to be able to be myself, and share some common understanding. I'm pretty self aware and have ideas and plans but I find myself going off track quite easily. I do feel that a shared journey is sometimes smoother.
Hello Leica, to grow your own vegetables sounds to be easy but in fact, it's hard work to keep the bugs and all the birds away, so to achieve this by yourself you need to be rewarded and imagine the money you'll save.
If you want, you can give some away, but don't leave yourself without any, now is the time to put yourself first.
mmMekitty I thought I'd never have success with a garden either, and to look at the rest of the yard, anyone would agree. I found out about layer, or no-dig gardens quite a few years ago and have dabbled on and off. Yes I do like writing, but I used to write a lot in my job so it sometimes feels like a chore. I did try voice recordings (I injured myself and couldn't write or type much for a while). It was a good option, a bit more rambling than writing but still I could empty my mind. Plus I think out loud all the time, much to the frustration of some people who want conciseness.
Geoff the pests are the most frustrating thing, as I try not to use too many chemicals. But so far so good this time round. I hit up anyone I know with gardens for ideas and help, or google of course. I think it's one of those lifelong learning things.
Maybe the other thing is that a vege garden, especially tomatoes, was one of the few interests my dad had at home and it has some positive memories for me.
Today I ate 5 of the tastiest sweetest cherry tomatoes straight off the vine. It was just one of those simple things that can really lift me for quite a while.