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Thoughts racing, my own harshest critic

Todda
Community Member

Hi there. Just found out I originally joined in 2018.

My mind is on repeat of my last week with highlights of a stuff up with work colleague who has already forgiven me. She said to move on and I am trying but the isolation of our world is making it harder. Forgive myself, what a foreign concept I have worked on for 30+ years and still can't do.My down moments are increasing.

My partner has become even more of a hermit resulting in my days either at home or work.

Home used to be my happy place, even in the rentals I have lived in for the last 15 years. I could always make homey, welcoming and safe. Now it is just a house.

I know I need to return to counselling and be more active. The joys of living with chronic depression .... fall in a black hole, knowing physically actions needed to get out, no motivation to do said actions, wearing a mask of happiness to the world.

6 Replies 6

Sophia16
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Todda,

Welcome back to the forums. I am truly sorry about what you are going through.

Chronic depression is so hard and tough. Speaking to a psychologist can really help you get back up and motivate you.

Beyond Blue has a support service 1300 22 4636 as well as lifeline 13 11 14 if you ever need quick support.

Please stay safe. Here to chat if you need me.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Todda,

Welcome back to our forums..

I am so really sorry that your struggling so much with chronic depression...I can relate to how hard it is to get motivated and do something physical to help and start our journey out of the big black hole....

Recognising that you need to return to counselling is a great start to moving forward...

Forgiving yourself..again is hard to do....you stuffed up at work last week and your colleague has forgiven you....Please try hard to forgive yourself..I’m sure it was an honest stuff up...which you didn’t intentionally do...Everyone does make mistakes and it’s always going to happen at times with everyone...after all we are only human...no one is ever perfect...forgiving yourself means that you have learned from your mistake (stuff up)....and you’ll do the best you can to not do the same mistake again....

Small steps at a time..lovely Todda...Is their something that you like doing for yourself...even for 5 minutes a day...That you could do, to redirect your constant thoughts of negativity onto something a bit positive?..

We are for you dear Todda...with our support and care....please talk here anytime you feel to...

Kind thoughts Dear Todda..

Grandy.,

Todda
Community Member
Thank you 🤝

Todda
Community Member
Thank you Grandy, beautiful words are appreciated 🤝

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Todda,

Wellcome back to our forums …

Sorry you are feeling this way…..

Please try to let go of the stuff up….. it happens…. Sometimes we have to teach ourselves how to let go …… forgiveness sets us free and letting go will help you to grow…..

I understand the repeating thoughts just try to let them be there….. Do you know how we sometimes get a song stuck in our head just try to treat them like that eventually it goes away because we just allow it to be there and don’t put to much attention on it….

Thats great you are thinking of going back to counselling.

I’m here to chat

Mark Z.
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Todda,

I'm sorry about your pain, it must be very hard for you.

If it is chronic depression, please, you need to return to counseling. It'll be very hard to walk out by yourself.

If you feel you need, having a mental health support worker or peer support worker to walk this journey with you will also be helpful.

You miss happy days in the past, you have certain self awareness and you share your story here... all of this is a positive sign that you're open and have hope on yourself. That's really your strength.

As Ggrand said, small steps at a time, don't push yourself too hard. Return to counseling, start with small actions, stick on your plan, ask for help here or from your loved ones.

Hope everything will get better and better.

Warmly,

Mark