Think im losing it
I understand what you are going through. If you can still find enough motivation, please try meditation. Meditation is not scary and there is no right or wrong way to do it. It's about living mindfully. Now anxiety, according to Buddist school of thought is worrying about the future. What meditation will teach you is to focus on the present. It's not hard or easy. It's like picking up a habit - a chemical-free (and probably the best) way to live. There are plenty of videos on You Tube. What also helps is having friends and support who get your condition.
I am 37. I lost my job and career to anxiety. I became an alcoholic because of it. My wife left me 'coz she could not understand what afflicted me. I can't drive. I have no friends 'coz I was too anxious to pick up their calls (even when drunk). I have contemplated suicide. But now I am beginning to see hope. I meditate. I have no one to support me. Meditation is my only hope and it's working for me. See me as your friend who is in this journey with you. You are not alone. Feel free to reach out. There is always hope.
This must be really difficult for you being completely dragged down by anxiety and depression. I completely understand when you say it is taking control of your life, I know it does.
You said that you have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, are you regularly seeing a therapist to deal with these issues? Believe me, you can take control of your life again and maybe all you need is a little bit of help from a counsellor or a psychologist.
Gp1111 also gave you great advise! Meditation, or mindfulness methods could maybe help you to relax and think about what is happening in the present. Breathing could also help you with your attacks.
All the best
That must be very difficult Comettail,
I cannot even start to imagine what it must be like to experience what you are going through. I agree with your psychiatrist,we do not just grieve over diseased loved ones. Unfortunately you cannot control other people's behaviours 😞 Your family might realise one day who their real family is!
Making friends can be difficult if you cannot move to places, maybe there are other sorts of forums you could visit as well as this one that could put you in contact with other people who have the same interests as you? Have you looked for something like that? Like a virtual book club or something? I am sure you could make friends that way, that would be very beneficial for you to have some social interactions.
All the best