Struggling stay at home mum.

[Ladycat]

Hi there.

I'm new to this. Not sure where I'm posting or if I'm doing it right.

I'm a stay at home mum of two beautiful babies, 3 y/o and 5 m/o.

I don't have any friends I can talk to and I don't like worrying my family when I do get a chance to see them, so I thought maybe I'd try this.

and now I'm lost for words and not sure what to say... I guess I'm a bit sad and stressed and feeling guilty. I want what is best for my babies and having a sad and grumpy mum isn't what I want to be, so I want to try feel better but I'm not sure where to start... ?

[Aaronsis]

Hello Ladycat

Welcome and so pleased to hear of your 2 beautiful babies. It is wonderful that you have come here to reach out for some support and comfort when I can hear that you are feeling sad and confused and distressed.

You are in a totally safe space here and you can pretty much say whatever it is you are feeling or how your days are going and you will not be judged or criticized here, just supported. I am sorry that you feel that you can't talk to your family about how you are feeling, they after all know you so well and would be the very best support for you. Perhaps they might worry, but that is ok, and it means that they will check in with you and provide you some care in this time, I am sure you would like them to let you know if they were infact not doing so well so that you could support them, let them do that for you now.

Another idea would be to make an appointment at your GP and to have a chat to them about how you are feeling and see what they suggest as some ways to help with the sadness and stress. It is hard raising children, you are most certainly not alone there, some days are wonderful and others are just down right horrible. You are so caring to want the very best for your babies, but it would be nice to want the best for you too, to feel happy and to enjoy your days.

Have you thought about perhaps contacting your local council to see if there are some parents groups around that you could perhaps join or playgroups so as that you can make some new friends as well as get some support in parenting too, also some adult time to chat while the kids are playing.

You have made a wonderful start here and we are here to support you Ladycat, hope to chat to you some more.

Hugs

AS

[Blackrabbit]

Hi ladycat,
I'm new here too and have primary care for 3 little ones aged 9, 6 and 3.

I know where you're coming from, I don't really have people to talk to and hate to burden my aging parents.

Its really tough, I love the kids dearly but I was so grumpy with them trying to get them organised this morning.

I just came home and cried I felt like such a crappy parent.
Thats why I signed up here.

I'm not a bad parent.
And neither are you.
Hang in there!

[Lee97]

Hey ladycat

i can relate to you, I was a stay at home mum with my son for 18 months. My son was so difficult that whole time, woke every 15 minutes (no, not kidding) for months, I prayed for the day I could count on one hand the amount of times he woke in a night, let alone sleeping through the night. Started sleeping through the night at a year old but he woke up at 4am every single morning - still no clue why. I was the only one doing the nights with him because I didn’t work, so that’s just the mums role apparently, right? Drove me insane, anyway. Even started hallucinating from the tiredness. Was very sad and stressed all the time. BUT the useful thing I came to say was, I decided to go back to work part time when he was 18 months old even through that exhaustion in hopes to have something for me again and it really worked. I have new issues now but at least I’m not cooped up in the house for days straight without any adult contact. It’s a good feeling to have some income from yourself too but just the social aspect is really the best thing.
I know it’s not always an option but it may be worth trying to see if there is anything, even an art group or something once a week you attend. May just help having something for you and something your achieving on your own, aside from being a parent.
take care