Self loathing and self doubt
Thanks for reaching out - welcome to our forums. Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear you've been feeling like this. It sounds like you've been feeling pretty low and lacking some confidence. I want to say that self-doubt is completely normal and you're absolutely allowed to feel this way. I know that everyone around you may look confident but I promise you that they have doubts too.
It must be really difficult moving to a small town that is isolated. I know it's hard but it might be good if you can put yourself out there and initiate social contact with as many people as possible. Once they realise you're keen to socialise and be friends I'm sure they will make the effort. In terms of coming across as confident in these new circles, I think the best trick is to fake it until you make it! If you pretend to be confident and put yourself out there, eventually you will start to feel a bit more comfortable around these people and socialising will also increase your confidence!
Have you had a look if there are any social activities you could join? Maybe a local sports team or support group. I'm sorry to hear things are thought with your ex - here if you want to chat more.
Wellcome to our forums!
Sorry you are feeling this way.
I understand it’s hard in a small town to make new friends…..
Does the school your child go to have a P & C ? Sometimes getting involved in this helps us make new friends with other mums….. maybe you could get involved with canteen ect?
Even at school drop off you may get to know other mums?
I know it’s hard feeling lonely….. maybe you could organise a lunch with a couple of ladies even if they are aquaintences ….. they could become friends 😊
Please build yourself up talk to yourself positively it can work wonders…… believe in yourself 😊
Im here to chat
Thank you for sharing.
It's totally normal to have self doubt, a lot of people have it, more or less, even those who looks quite confident. What happened at a point in time doesn't define you over a period of time. And I believe from your friends' eyes you're a lovely person.
Do you want to share why you choose to move to a small town? Have you tried going to local church? Or if you have multicultural background, you can try to access the community of your culture in the town. If you love some kind of sport, try to find the relative sport club in the town. You don't really have to please others to make friends, you just need to find those who has something in common with you.
I commonly feel the same way that you feel. It's very normal. I think try not to resist the feeling, time heals a lot of things and maybe this feeling will soon pass.
If you allow yourself to feel it, instead of fighting against it, then you'll actually be able to feel more comfortable in your own skin and mind over time. It sucks that you have to feel this way though- You've probably been feeling a little lonely.
Take care of yourself- you deserve all the light in the world 🙂