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Really don’t know where to begin….

Eilidh_Girl
Community Member
Hello. I’m obviously new here and really not sure how to begin, I’m struggling and feeling tired and lonely. I’ve been married nearly 21 years, my husband has CPTSD and other chronic health conditions. Even after all this time I feel I’m still not coping and I feel my efforts to support him are fruitless. Just sad, tired and lonely. I have psychology support , however very few friendships have lasted so I’m very grateful to be able to read about other peoples experiences here. Thankyou
11 Replies 11

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Eilidh Girl,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Sorry to hear of your husbands health conditions….

I’m sorry you feel so lonely, we are all a lovely bunch on this forum and we are happy to chat to you and support you in any way we can…..

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Just another thing Eilidh Girl you must be such a wonderful supportive wife and I’m sure your husband does appreciate having you by his side to support him.

Can I ask what do you do for your self?

I think it’s great you have psychology support.

Im also glad you have found our forums to be helpful.

here to chat

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hey Eilidh Girl, welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage.

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

We would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14)


 

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Eilidh Girl, a warm welcome to the forums.

Sometimes when we've been in a long marriage or a relationship then the help we try to do for our partner/spouse isn't taken seriously and maybe pushed under the carpet, in other words after 21 years of being married any help you offer your husband may not be taken as such and be ignored, which could mean you are then going to suffer as well, which I've seen happen many times before.

Can I ask you if his CPTSD has any relation to his chronic health conditions, this may help us learn about the consequences of his situation?

Maybe you need to ask yourself if the psychologist is addressing all your issues.

Take care.

Geoff.

Thankyou Petal22, for both of your posts. To be honest, I don’t do much for myself and I know that’s part of the problem. I’ve neglected my own self care and this is something the psych is helping me with. I feel pretty lousy about that as well, maybe if I’d looked after myself better I’d cope better? Feeling like a bit of a failure on lots of fronts. Thanks for listening.

Thanks Sophie, I have made a note of all those contacts. That’s very much appreciated.

Thanks so much Geoff. It’s a comfort to read your response. I have started working with a new psychiatrist and psychologist this past year and although I am feeling both are a good fit, the work is slow of course and sometimes I just want to reach out and talk to others who might understand.

My husbands cptsd stems from violence in his family home to a number of near death experiences because of chronic health conditions he developed as a young man.

Thanks again Geoff for writing to me.

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Eilidh Girl, lovely to hear back from you.

' Maybe if I’d looked after myself better I’d cope better', that's what we always aim for, but at times and on many occasions this just isn't possible because somewhere and/or somehow we are still struggling on a specific point or in general, and can easily change from one day to another, so when we talk with the counsellors, a problem may be raised that's just happened, but what happened yesterday may be avoided because of lack of time.

Talking with others, there is no rush to discuss these problems or what you want to say about yourself, so this is where you are able to relate much better to your situation, but we still need the help and guidance from a qualified person.

We are here to listen to what you want to say and please don't be afraid as we have all struggled ourselves.

My Best thoughts.

Geoff.

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Elididh,

How are you today?

You are a remarkable woman you have put so much care and love into your husband…… maybe you have forgotten to give yourself some self care and love it’s never too late to start now 😊

What do you enjoy doing? Maybe you could start to do something nice for yourself…

here to chat