hey there, I've never used a forum or community like this before, but after a couple months of just lurking in the background reading other people's posts and experiences, I feel I'm ready to join in and be a part of this.
Okay so here's my deal. I'm 16 soonish, and my boyfriend is 1 and a half years younger than me. First up is that a problem?? He sometimes says that the age gap worries him but as there's nothing we can do about that we just leave it. No point worrying about something you can't change, right? My view on this is that since we're in a committed relationship, once we're like 20 and 22 it won't be as big a problem- we will both be fully biologically developed, and so pretty much the same mentally-wise. Long distance relationships suck a lot. It's really, really really REALLY hard. I miss him all the time, every day, I'm obsessed with him. We've been together since June, 2020, and before that were best friends for around 5 months. He was there for me through a vulnerable time including nasty girls, dumping me from their friend group. I don't want to talk about that, I'm teetering on the edge of 'over it'. We had each other through a season where we needed it most, and if that's all we get out of the relationship then it's pretty good still. The first time he said he loved me I was ecstatic. It means a lot to say that. Especially coming from someone who knows me so well, through my cranky PMS days and all.
Currently the only thing making me anxious is something I said to him, and another girl..
Women. We get cranky, we get nasty and tired and we want to blob around. My boyfriend was being perfectly lovely to me and I was nasty back, and it hurt him a lot. We haven't been quite the same since, but we're healing. I apologised and did everything I could to make it right- making sure he knew what I said I did not mean at all. We're better. But I'm anxious about a friend of his, who has caught feelings for him, and vice versa. He told me about this, and so I'm not too worried- If he was open about it, it means he trusts me.. I think. He said he chooses me over anyone, and so that's relieving. But still, I worry. Yes, it's just a crush, but with him being so far away what if something happens, and she's better than me? With this circling my mind, I've been putting myself down a lot. 'I'm not worthy of him anyway. I was nasty and I will be for a week every month, and I can't help it. I'm always depressed around people. He deserves someone better.'
