Hello Emily, glad you are here.
I am finding this is a pretty good bunch of people, open and caring. You are welcome to talk as much or as little as you are comfortable with. But first, check out the guidelines for posting.
Would you like to talk more about what's been happening for you lately?
I hope I'll see posts from you around BB Forums soon.
Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.
We are sorry to hear that you are feeling so alone and are in such a dark place right now. We understand that this must be very overwhelming and scary for you. It takes a lot of courage to reach out to our online community and we’re really glad that you have. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.
If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.
We also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.
Hi emxx, thanks for reaching out.
Know that you are definitely cared for and supported in this community - everyone here wants to help each other out and it's a safe space to explore your feelings and connect with others.
It's so hard when we feel like we have a lot of love to give but aren't getting the same level back. I feel like this too sometimes. It makes me wonder why I bother when it's not reciprocated, but it just comes naturally to me.
You mentioned you're suffering from anxiety and depression - have you spoken to a councillor or psych about how you're feeling recently?
Maybe it's partially because of the lockdown. It's much easier to feel very low, and it's much harder to feel connected.
Don't assume people don't care about you, try to ring your friends and have a chat, the result might be different as you imagined.
Do you mind to share your hobbits? You can join some online groups which have virtual events you're interested. You can also try 'Clubhouse', find your interested topics and join the discussion, it's even easier to express your opinions without showing your face.
Are you still going out for exercise everyday? It's important to have sunshine and fresh air, listen to the sounds of birds and streams. Nature is also your friend. Don't lock yourself home, don't underestimate the magic of nature.
Hello Emily, we will not judge you because we have been in exactly the same position ourselves, and sometimes it takes people a long time to believe that we don't criticise and once this happens then they have a small amount of confidence to begin to open up, that's what we hope you will do, and remember that we have had to struggle through our own type of depression, where we don't feel as though we have any friends until people reply back to us, then we become involved.
Being the person who always seems to help others through their own problems, slowly becomes a weight you can no longer maintain, simply because you are unable to think clearly because your own thoughts are more dominant, that's when you need to step aside and tell them that you are sorry, you have your own problems to solve.
You can't physically keep answering their problems, while you are struggling yourself, it's not feasible and now you need to sort out whatever help you can get, whether this starts with your doctor or people on a site who have been in your position who can give you the courage to then contact your doctor.
Whenever you are available we'd love to hear back from you.