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my wife possibly cheating

Bruce_4
Community Member
As wrong as it is i have logged into wife’s messenger account and seen there is msgs of trying to meet up with another guy. I want to confront her about it but also don’t want her to know I’ve accessed her msgs. Don’t know what to do.
4 Replies 4

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Bruce, I'm really sorry to learn of this and there must have been a reason why you looked into her messenger account, otherwise, there would be no need.

Can I ask you what would be worse knowing that she could be going to have an affair or looking to her account, well, if she has nothing to hide, then maybe slightly annoyed, but if she's going to cheat, then she will be embarrassed and caught up in a situation she needs to explain?

If I was in your position I would do exactly the same, it's something you want to know and if your relationship can eventually be repaired.

If a spouse/partner is going to cheat on you, then there is someone else trying to attract them for a certain reason and doing this only feels exciting as two people bond with each other and fall for one another, but it can't last.

This is not an excuse for this to happen and maybe your relationship needs an injection of excitement, but I'd really like to hear back from you.

Geoff.

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Bruce, welcome

If you know the time and date if her rendezvous with this guy you can hire a PI to attend/follow and gain evidence so any denial would be in vain. You could attend yourself but that has risks.

Whatever you do make sure you have facts. It could be a disaster if you've misinterpreted her messages and there is a valid reason.

In a trusting relationship I wouldn't be feeling guilty about reading her messages. That's my opinion.

I hope things work out ok.

TonyWK

Bruce_4
Community Member
Hi, Thankyou for ur time in regard to my dilemma. I was able to use the fact I knew of the guy messaging her so was able to say I seen the name on ph as she walked past me and asked why is he messaging me. I knew in actual fact he was asking her to meet him out but her claim was that it was the first time she had heard from him and he was only saying hi.
she is now resorting to every time either one msgs she deletes the chat straight away so unless I’m sitting there watching my ph I miss it.

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Bruce, I am really sorry because if I was her husband that would really not only upset me but annoy me and make me more suspicious.

My trust in her would be thrown away and always wonder what she's up to.

I feel for your position Bruce.

Geoff.