Lurking in the background

[Gracie63]

Im a newbie here and have been reading lots of other’s stories about anxiety and I have been really reassured that I am not alone with this debilitating disorder. Anxiety has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember and at different times I’ve used medication to deal with it and have had some good years where I seem to have managed It but I guess it’s always been lurking in the background
because it’s back with a vengeance and my anxiety has now hit me with an all time high .The last six months are now so bad that It feels like it’s in my heart , my chest, my throat and of course I immediately think I have some major health issues but have had lots of tests that come back with all is fine . I can not work or even leave the house sometimes. It freaks me out because it’s like it just has taken over me and of course every little twinge gets my mind going in to overload and it takes forever to shut it up. I am so grateful to finding these forums as It really does help to ease my mind and body.

[JustAPerson2]

you for sure are not alone - big hugs

[Gracie63]

Thank you

[Croix]

Dear Gracie63~

I too would like to welcome you hare and am glad that reading the Forum has helped, at least you know you are not alone.

As someone who has had an anxiety condition (with other things) for a very long time I notice it is not a stable thing but responds at least partly to what is gong on in my life, though I admit at times it seem to have a mind of its own and just comes and goes as it feels like it.

Like you it cna manifest itself in physical ways too. as well as causing the mind to keep in in a loop of worry and anticipation. The number of tests I've had for various things like chest pain is amazing.

I now have pretty good life and can do most anything, though the symptoms can be there they are normally well controlled.

Can I suggest that you go back to your GP and say how your current treatment is not working and needs to be reviewed. It might be you should see specialist help as well as the GP, who might refer you to a therapist such as a psychiatrist or psychologist.

Do you have anyone in your life you can lean on for support? A family member or friend you can talk with and not be judged , just cared about. I often ask my partner about the things that are disturbing me and gain an outsides more sensible perspective. Trying to cope on your own is extra hard.

I do have some places you can go that might help, first of course is Beyond Blue, with facts, actions to take and resources:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety

Second a thread in this forum that has heaps of things other people have found help them

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety

And the third is an app I use on my phone, it is free and very flexible, though takes a little practice. It will however take the mind out of that loop and leave me calmer

https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app

don't be put off by the word 'mindfulness', it it works for me it will work for just about anybody.

I hope we can talk some more

Croix

[Gracie63]

Wow thank you so much for those recommendations, I downloaded the smiling mind app on my phone and I love it. It helps a lot to stop all that looping.

[Croix]

Dear Gracie63~

I'm glad these things are helping, as I may have asked before, is here anyone in your life to just listen and care (no need for them to do more)?

Croix

[Gracie63]

Yes I do have people who care and are supportive although they to have health issues of their own so I tend to keep things to my self as I don’t like to worry my loved ones.

[Elithia]

Dear Graci63,

I'm new here too. I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a bad run with anxiety! It totally makes sense, given everything 2020 has brought.

Croix already gave such an amazing reply, which I also found really helpful (thank you Croix!)... but I just wanted to say how much I can relate to what you said about not wanting to share or voice your anxiety to others.

Lasy year, before Covid (hard to imagine now!), I went through the most awful bout of menopause rage/anxiety. It was completely unexpected, and was so bad every night I was afraid I was psychologically cracking up. I felt I couldn't tell my partner about it because I didn't want him to worry, but also because telling him would make this private, secret torment more 'real' somehow.

I have pretty bad self-soothing skills (Unfortunately for me) and so, instead of trying to talk myself down out of the tree, I downloaded a 1hr soundtrack of rain sounds and frogs croaking and gentle thunder. I would put earbuds in and let that soundscape take charge of my brain. It had the most calming effect (confession: I'm listening to it now!).

I wonder if there's a soothing soundtrack or scent or texture that you find helps you to get recentred during an anxiety spike?

Sending warmest wishes to you x

[Croix]

Dear Gracie63 (with a wave to Elithia)~

I guess that you, like me, felt that not telling others would ease their burden in life and to add to their problems.

I don't think I was right and also think that Elithia is correct, once you tell another it makes it more real, you feel that inside yourself, added to which it is hard to talk, and if you do then things get more complicated as you have to deal with their responses rather than pretending all is OK.

Frankly it was a relief to tell another in detail, and helped from then on to have the burden shared. True you may have to educate the listener (sounds back to front doesn't it?) so they know they cannot "fix" it, but just listen and care.

It's so much better than isolation, new perspectives and feeling not alone.

There's a other side. As a parent and a partner I'd feel terrible if I found my offspring or wife had been trying to soldier on alone and not give me the opportunity to help, it's what I'm there for (along with everything else).

And yes I do have health issues myself, they will not stop me listening and caring.

As a coincidence I use sounds too. Rain on the roof and the swish of surf with gulls at times when sleep has eluded me for far too long, or even during the day when anxiety becomes too wearing. (It beats the horrible music in Smiling Mind whch can be switched off than goodness.)

I get mine from a huge bank of sounds free for personal use, it even has previews, you download an MP3 or other file format. With a little skill you can join them end to end.

https://freesound.org/

Croix

[Gracie63]

I will definitely give something like that a go .