Loss of identity, independence and withdrawn
You've nothing to be concerned about for in no way do I find you manipulative. You're a very open and honest person 🙂 It's always refreshing to connect with people such as yourself.
Waking up to people can be a tough process at times, that's for sure. I've found it's kind of like being asleep to people and then, bamm, you get some big psychological slap and finally wake up. Then you're kind of left to wonder 'Have they always been a bit that way and I've been asleep through the whole relationship?' In some cases I've found waking up to certain people to be somewhat depressing. It can even leave you feeling a bit ripped off, 'Why do I have to do the hard work in coming to terms with such a depressing nature, in another? Why can't they do some of the hard work when it comes to being more conscious, more thoughtful?' I've found, in the quest to better understand people there can be a lot of questions. Like with yourself, it's in my nature to read into things. I find you get a lot of answers this way. Sometimes those answers involve hits and sometimes misses. Reading and mastering sensing exactly what you're reading takes practice. Don't give up practicing. Practice makes perfect 🙂
Physical pain can be so mind altering, so depressing at times. My mum lives with pain every day, it's just a matter of the intensity of it. With her having a lot of specialists in her employment, there have been occasions where she's said 'I feel my whole life is about pain and appointments'. I think it's easy to lose sight of the fact that sometimes we can identify our self through our experiences. So, in her case, 'I am someone who has nothing but pain and appointments'. It's at these times where I show her who she really is. If I bestow on her the identify of 'Food critic', we go out to taste a meal, for example. Lockdowns here in Melbourne have been challenging for her, not being able to get out, to be someone different from who she sees herself as. Being at home doesn't necessarily stop us though. I may bestow on her the identify of 'Speaker of absolute nonsense'. We speak nonsense to the point where it's laughable. The world can appear far too serious and even depressing at times Chunty. One of the ways I manage my mental health is through occasionally indulging in nonsense 🙂
Do you ever question the doctors who don't provide you with enough avenues regarding pain relief? Do you feel they should be better detectives, finding what would make a difference?
Im good 😊 how are you?
I understand sometimes we get a bit fed up….. when I feel that way I try to change my mindset by thinking of all of the things I’m grateful for 😊
Meditation is great for just calming the mind… I did a nice one last night it was one about being at the beach…. I really felt like I was there… meditation is amazing 😻 maybe you could find a nice calming beach meditation or nature something you enjoy 😊
Wondering who else you have who comes to see you. Is there someone who comes to offer Communion? Also wondering what led you to choose Merryweather's name. I do wonder a lot 🙂
Sometimes I think about that angel on one shoulder and so called 'devil' on the other scenario. I can remember some years ago seeing this brought to life in an Abbot and Costello movie. Don't know why that sticks in my head. What are some of the things you hear from the angel side? I find this side doesn't just offer all happy positive stuff. It can offer some serious challenges too. I imagine one of those challenges for you might have sounded a little like 'You need to stop being depressed by your family and instead work on having less to do with them'. I think sometimes the people closest to us can be the most depressing. As I've mentioned before, it's like one day you just wake up to certain people and become quite shocked by their behaviour, sometimes being left to think 'How did I not see that before?'.
Do you have Netflix or Foxtel or something like that? Personally, I can't tolerate free to air tv these days. I can't help but wonder whatever happened to quality entertainment. A lot of the good shows are on at some insane hour incredibly late at night, way past my bedtime 🙂
I'm a big believer in us all being here for a reason. It's like we're gifted to life on earth in some way. I think we can spend a lifetime in a form of ebb and flow, knowing what our reason is (our purpose) and then at times not knowing. In and out, knowing, not knowing, constantly (unless you've got some deep sense of inner knowing that never leaves you). The not knowing times can feel so deeply challenging.
You are so thoughtful. To you I also wish the best for Christmas and the new year ahead and I wish the same for Merryweather as well as your lovely carer. I may have mentioned how I'm led to smile when I think of Merryweather's name and the fact that she stays faithful to you in the stormy times when fair weather friends have not been so faithful during such times. It's like the powers that be have said 'I will give you merry weather for every day, no matter what, no matter how dark and stormy things get'. It sounds like you've brought a lot of sunshine and peace into her life, given what her life was like before she met you. You're her angel on earth.
When I think of prayer what comes to mind is the 'Footprints In The Sand' poem. Every time I read this it brings a tear to my eye. I imagine you've read it or heard of it. The thought that we are never alone, no matter what, is one of great consolation. One of the things I've discovered over the years is an open mind creates a channel for guidance, whereas a closed mind makes it harder for guidance to come in. It's so hard to create a constructive positive open channel when overwhelming challenge fully occupies the mind. I can relate to what you mean about trust. I've lost count of the amount of times over the years where on occasion I've lost trust, where I've felt hopeless and then some heavenly miraculous revelation comes to mind leading me to proclaim 'I'm never going to lose faith or trust again'. Then some overwhelming challenge comes up, with no immediate solution in tow and I forget to seek guidance or imagine it's just not there. I smile when I imagine some guardian angel beside me (during my faithless times) rolling their eyes, smacking their forehead and shaking their head in disbelief and frustration, before proclaiming 'You're unbelievable. Haven't you learned yet, you are always free to create a channel for guidance'. Perhaps it's a matter of practice. As they say, practice makes perfect. I suppose the lesson comes down to not just practicing 2 way channels of prayer/meditation for guidance in the good times but practicing them in the tough times too, so that they become a natural part of the tough times.
Can recall in one of my meditations for guidance something quite profound which came to mind, 'You are allowed to feel sorry/sorrow for yourself. There is nothing wrong with grieving over a lost sense of self. Just don't get stuck in that sorrow. Getting stuck is the problem' 🙂