Life gets so hard.
Hi. Alittle about myself. I am sure that I suffered depression and anxiety most of my life but was diagonised about 20 years ago. I am finding it much more of a struggle to keep my happy face on these days. Most nights when I go to bed I am silently hopeful that I will not wake up. I have tried for so many years but this black dog inside never seems to go away. Every day is a struggle. I am so tired all the time but force myself to function on a daily basis so other people will not know how hopeless I feel. I have a lovely family and I know that I am loved but I cannot love myself. When I look in the mirror I see an old unhappy woman , I would liketo feel a little happiness before I die. I know I am rambling.
So, there seems you have two issues as I read it, your depression and its effects on your daily life and absence of self value.
Not uncommon symptoms of that black dog ut I'm a great believer of trying everything even whats outside the box, to turn things around.
Some of these radical ideas must come from yourself as you know who you are and your interests.
So, perhaps if I list things and threads that could steer you onto a more interesting path it might help.
Google the following and just need to read the first post
Beyondblue topic the best praise you'll ever get
Beyondblue topic depression, distraction and variety
Beyondblue topic boredom the closed door to fun
Beyondblue topic inner peace, the glory of being YOU
Beyondblue topic the balance of your life
Beyondblue topic changes from a boring life
Beyondblue topic depression, the timing of motivation
Beyondblue topic if all else fails- be radical
Thete are hundreds more on this site.
I'd love to know your thoughts. Repost in those threads or here in your own thread.