FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Introductions

TwoHeads
Community Member

hey guys. R here, aka TwoHeads. i'm a terribly succesful and terribly depressed man in his 40's. i hate being broken and struggle living with this reality. thought i'd reach out and try and find some like-minded people to get some useful tips on dealing with an "anxiety-fueled depression".

I was abused as a kid and suffered a fair whack of violence (pardon the pun) during my younger years. I lived with constant criticism and learnt that i was never going to be good enough. Life became a game of being outstanding to distract people from the brokeness - "nothing to see here". i struggle accepting encouragement and help, but they are artefacts that help me protect myself. i think often of how good it will be to finally die and leave this all behind, but never about killing myself. I have an amazing wife of >25 years and three marvelous kids who are a constant source of strength and frustration. Life is a peak and trough thing for me, with more troughs of longer duration and less peaks than the average bear.

Please say hi - would be good to connect with others in similar situations. have a good day.

14 Replies 14

TwoHeads
Community Member
thanks Geoff. totally true. appreciate the insight, mate, so thank you

CazQ
Community Member

Hi R,

I'm Caz and new to this sight also. I was diagnosed a few months ago with Bipolar

I completely relate to your experiences. Childhood abuse, not being able to accept help. I'm 49 and have a beautiful son and partner but the depression and anxiety is a heavy cloud on the head.

There is a saying that a cracked vase shines more light (or something to this effect)😊

Are you getting any therapy?

We have a purpose on this Earth..and we are not alone even though it feels like it sometimes.

I hope this has helped.

Warm regards

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear R, CasQ and others~

NBC had an article whch said

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art

One might as well be talking about mental health issues. I was complexly broken, invalided out of my occupation suicidal and told I'd never work again. Now I've reached a recovery point where I live with and cope with my illness. I'm a more stable, compassionate and able person than before. I know myself better.

Croix

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear R~

You can see what I believe about being broken in the previous post. All the pieces of your true self are there, and can be brought together with therapy, kindness and support. As with me some things will never leave you, but can be accepted and coped with, leaving you in a pretty good place.

I could never understand why my wife never left me when I was in the worst of PTSD, depression, anxiety and hopelessness. I was so hard to live with , bad tempered, resentful, unpredictable and wanting to be left alone.

She coped. Housework, looking after the offspring, looking after me, all the bills plus going to work. Often wondering if I'd still be alive when she got back.

I did ask her why later on, and she said simply that she loved me.

Many years later I was able to repay the debt by being by her side during a long fatal illness.

So don't worry about being a burden on your wife and friend. It is amazing how determined and compassionate some people are. Plus, as in my case, you cannot see the future and may in some way be able to help them as much yourself.

Croix

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Caz~

I've read your other thread and you have already been talking to two of the best people here. The thread they mentioned, if you have not already found it is at

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/this-bipolar-life

There is a lot in it since Kaz started it in 2016, but well worth dipping into, a lot of people have related their experiences, many very hopeful.

I agree about having a diagnosis or label, I found immense relief my behaviour was a symptom of my illnesses, not character defects or unknown causes in myself

Croix