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Introducing me

strugglzreal
Community Member

Hi! I figured this was the right place to start. I'm 42 female and really struggling at the moment. I was in a really good place before changes in the workplace (not COVID related) made a lovely place to work really hard.  I now have a pretty awful time at work. I took some time off last year due to depression and came back and was doing really well and drawing boundaries. But drawing those boundaries does come at a cost - strange how saying no to unreasonable requests (that other - male - colleagues get away with saying no to, on the rare occassions they are asked) suddenly makes me the problem.  I think I really need to leave the job and it would need to be a career change because of the nature/availability of the work. But that's such a frightening prospect given my financial commitments and the years I put into developing a career.

I've booked in to see the counsellor I saw last year who was really helpful, but in the meantime I thought I'd pop in here given its late at night and I'm looking to another sleepless night!

2 Replies 2

indigo22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi strugglzreal,

Welcome to the forums, so glad you decided to join and share some of your experience.

Sorry to hear you are in a difficult situation at the moment. We spend some much of our time at work and if it is not a comfortable place to be, it can really impact other aspects of our life. Losing sleep will not make it easier either, just makes it harder to come up with ideas or solutions. It truly is amazing that the world has evolved in many areas except for the personal interactions that count the most. It seems that the work place (along with other areas of life) is conditioned to see women as less entitled to demand respect and label the ones that have enough self-esteem to stand up for themselves as "difficult" or "uncooperative" or any number of more degrading labels. The masculine influence has been so pervasive for such a long time that the feminine has to fight to be acknowledged as an equal. Is your career in an area where you could break out on your own and run a small business offering the experience you have gained over the years? It can be very intimidating to think of changing things when there are financial considerations to factor in especially when your self esteem has been knocked about. I hope you will feel comfortable to come back to this conversation and talk some more when you feel the need. We are here to support you and if you have a look through some of the conversations, you may get some insight into how others have managed to get through similar circumstances.

I am glad you are returning to your counsellor to help you through this.

Perhaps try some guided meditation to help you sleep in the meantime, there are many free ones available.

indigo22

Thanks for replying indigo22. I appreciate it and thank you for your insights.  I'll give the guided meditation a try.  

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable starting a small business, but its something to think about.  I think what I really need is to move into a role that can be done in more a 9-5 time frame.  I'll probably struggle a bit in the rigidity of 9-5 after a few decades of more flexible arrangements but I'm finding that flexibility has more downsides than benefits at the moment.