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I feel depressed, but so many are doing it way tougher

Community Member

I thought I would reach out,

I feel depressed, very depressed.

but so many are doing it way tougher than me, I keep telling myself to toughen up. All I’m dealing with is relationship issues, separation issues, financial issues, work issues, just letting them all get to me.

way too complicated!!!

eish it was easier

5 Replies 5

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Powsy,

Wellcome to our forums!

Thank you for reaching out.

Please don’t tell yourself to toughen up, you are important and are going through a lot right now.

Sorry you are feeling depressed.

You are Wellcome to call Beyond Blue any time to speak to a trained councillor 1300 22 4636

You can also make an appointment with your gp and discuss how you are feeling, you could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

We are all here as a community to support you, please feel free to post here aswell for support.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Powsy, and a warm welcome to the site, and nobody is doing it tougher than yourself, and it may seem as though others are doing this hard, but you need to look at yourself first, that who matters.

The issues you have mentioned are extremely difficult to know what to do, and I can say this, as I've been through it myself, and it's certainly not pleasant, plus we have had so many threads from people who are also finding this very difficult, and hope you can open up to us.

It does become very complicated as each couple have their own different situations, but that doesn't mean we aren't able to help you and there could be different issues you may have neglected which we can then help you, so please, in your own time can you get back to us.


Mark Z.
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Powsy,

It's ok not to be ok. Everyone has different situation and it's really hard to compare. ‘Toughtening up’ may push yourself into a dead end which will make things more complex. What you need is help, care, support.

Please do not hesitate to seek help, Petal22 has given very good suggestions. You're also very welcome here. We're here to listen and help.



Community Member

Thanks Geoff,

I’m going to lay it all out there.

I had a good up bringing in the country, lucky enough to have lots of horses and go to good schools up to the age of 12.

I experienced several years of domestic violence to my mother, both physical and verbal. That relationship finally ended when I was brave enough to intervene on one of the most abusive episodes, it was a scary time and sometimes I think we were lucky to get out of that alive.

Then moved to a high school and really found it hard to settle through the teenage years, I lost some close friends through motor vehicle accidents and then my mother had a terrible horse riding accident which completely changed all of our lives.

I have a 18yo boy and 15yo girl to a partner I lost to breast cancer in 2008, that was a 4 year battle.

I also have a 6 yo boy to a partner I am separating from now. The woman has turned out to be my worst nightmare and most of my issues now are centred around that.

I ran my own business for 16 years and now have good professional office job for last 6 years. For the last 6 months I have taken a even more difficult role, which has added stress and also made me quite time poor, especially whilst I learn and develop into this new position.

I also have been in a complicated relationship with a woman I love to bits for last twelve months. Most of the complications with this one are both of our previous partners, and the fact either us know exactly where we sit regarding financial situations with settlements etc. we live separately, and for the most part have an amazing connection, it’s just the complicated arrangement which has too many restrictions for a loving relationship.

There is a lot of deep complications with all of the above, the worst of it is my ex of ten years whom I have the six year old with, she is so evil and very smart snd manipulative, seems to be able to control everything, which makes life very difficult, she goes to low lengths to make me feel like the worst human being, also interferes with my new relationship. She is also trying to claim 85% of our combined assets as settlement. When we started this relationship, I had more, plus I had 2 children of my own, and now she wants me to walk away with 15%, it’s quite daunting and unfair.

It’s a roller coaster, and sometimes the downs are really bad, I just want to fast forward past all the crap!

just lately I have been turning little things into big things, which just makes my life more difficult.

Community Member
And I have noticed when I have to organise anything to do with the separation eg documents, phone calls etc etc, my heart races snd I feel sick, I’m really not looking forward to all this, scared of losing money, new partner snd even my job.