Hi Just got out of the hospital, and trying to deal with being locked in with a Narcissist
Sorry to read you ended up in hospital and sorry to read of the situation you are in at home. It sounds like you are finding ways to deal with your situation.
The yoga teacher training sounds interesting, I am sure you would learn so much through that study. There may be a lot of research you can do on line until your father agrees to help fund the training.
Have you been writing for long? Has it always been an interest of yours? It sounds like it allows you to find a way to deal with your life. Some people find any kind of creativity to be a wonderful way of calming and healing ourselves.
Was the hospital able to offer you any advice on where you could gain help and assistance on your release?
We can not change the people who are around us. It can be very difficult to live with them. I wish you well in finding a way to continue on in your situation. Regards from Dools
The hospital was not very helpful because unlike online forums like youtube where people know about narcissistic abuse the place seemed to listen to my mother and believe what a "wonderful , caring loving person she is. I don't think they believed me. But the Dr-not psychiatrist-who saved my life believed me. He came in to talk to me and told me "please you almost died; I want to help you." I told him about my mother and the horrible way she treats me and he gave me his card and made me promise that if i ever feel like dying again to please call him first. I promised him becasue he had tears in his eyes-he BELIEVED ME. It seems that where i live the shrinks are behind the times. IN America it seems the people know more about narcissistic mothers and how they can destroy their daughters. The psychiatrist who saw me in the hospital was like 75 years old and did not seem interested at all in why I was there. He talked at length with my mother and not at all with me. This is what frustrates me about psychiatrists they supposedly are experts but they are pretty ignorant and easily manipulated by my mother. I think it is funny how inept they are and how they believe anything she says. At least I can never be fooled by this behaviour. I can spot a female like my mother a mile away. She is so pathetic and dependent on the good opinion of others. MAybe i am worried about my looks but at least I HAVE a personality. She is an empty shell- a monster.
I’m really sorry that you are unwell and having to deal with your unhelpful toxic mother. I can only imagine how stressful this is for you and hope that you have a better relationship with your father.
Your writing projects sound grand and I like the idea of yoga training—great for the body, mind and soul.
I’m wondering if you’ve ever considered having a pet in your room. Perhaps fish, a guinea pig or a bird? Might be nice to have some company and someone else to care for.
Reading, drawing (maybe your characters?), listening to music, learning a musical instrument (eg harmonica or guitar) and taking up a hobby (eg knitting, sewing, crosswords or puzzles) might also help you to pass your time productively and enjoyably, whilst distracting your mind.
Living through Covid and lockdowns is tough, especially with a MH condition. Hang in there and post anytime you want to talk.
Kind thoughts to you
just wanted to validate a lot of what ur saying
yes, i do think in america there is more awareness of narcissism, and bingo, a lot of hopeless mental health practioners (or maybe well meaning, but still hopeless, ones) fall prey to this age-old, dated idea that like, families should be together, no matter what, that parents love their children, always, and that repairing damage often means "forgiving" an abusive family member in the name of family peace. No, no and no.
I also saw a really old psychiatrist who was really bad about this stuff and tried to have me do family therapy with my abusive parent. It was awful. Some ppl are so old-school abotu these ideas.
I didn't find the hospital super sensitive about traumas or abuse, and I've also been a few times. It's definitely not fool-proof advice, but I'd recommend avoiding the 75 year old white male model of psychiatrist or doctor, and be open to seeing female, younger, or modern thinking, therapists, they may get it. They may have seen it all before. They may even get it very quickly, and immeidately see what's up and what your mother is doing.
You've gone through a lot, i hope u are able to do the yoga training and to find some space from ur family, and feel a bit better after all that you have been through. sending care and support.
Please don't worry about your response time. Nobody gets alerts! And there is no pressure, ever, to respond. Everybody here gets MH and understands the challenges. Having said all that, it is lovely to hear from you again and learn that you are feeling better.
I'm so glad your medication is helping you and I'm confident, given some time, that your energy levels will improve. You are doing an amazing job in very difficult circumstances--well done to you.
Kind thoughts to you