Hi Everyone, First post.

[Kymmy_K]

A little about my situation,

My husband was a heavy drinker for over 25 years. Drinking started everyday at 11 am, earlier if I was away from the house. Previous nights were forgotten by him in the morning. He also has Narcissistic traits such as gaslighting, manipulation, name calling and being very controlling. The last decade has seen me spiral into an all-time emotional low, I showed all the signs of anxiety and depression. I didn’t seek help although it was suggested to me by many friends. I guess I was in denial. Slowly I became stronger by reading forums such as ones found on quorra (similar to these). And found that I wasn’t going crazy and I wasn’t alone in this. I educated myself. Recently I felt I was about to slip down that hole I’d worked so hard to get out of...I left him three months ago. Less than a week after I left he stopped drinking. Now he states he’s a changed man and is begging me back. What brings me to this forum is I’m ready to acknowledge that my emotional baggage is bringing me down. I have left my family home and feel a tremendous sense of relief, a true weight has been lifted and I’m no where near as anxious and I’m happier. But I have a lot of anger and resentment. I see the negative when I have always seen the positive. And this is what makes me sad. And also confused. I don’t know what I am hoping for but this is my first acknowledgment and writing this has helped already.

[Helpmeeeee]

You could keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings. That way you can write as much as you want, about whatever you want to write about. There's no rules, and it helps get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper.

If reading the journal is triggering, you could tear the piece of paper up when you're ready to let the thought go.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Kymmy,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums..

I am so very sorry what you went are going through..

I am happy to read that since you left you’re husband 3 months ago you feel a tremendous sense of relief...

Do you believe that your husband has changed?...I heard those words from my husband so many times... I believed him x amount of time before I realised that a person cannot change who they are....I mean after 25 years of drinking.,he just gives it up....that’s something that he should have done while you were still living with him...

Maybe Kymmy...if you can reach out to your GP..and let them know how your feeling with your anger and resentment...if they could start a mental health care plan for you..sometimes talking out our feelings to someone who isn’t a member of your family or friends...might help you to deal with these feelings your have...and give you some coping tools to help you manage them...

Here if you need to talk lively Kymmy..,

My kindest thoughts..

Grandy..