Hi All

[cameraobscura]

HI

I am here to speak about my mental condition. I am using this forum for the first time; hence I have no expectations.

Just a bit about myself. I am a migrant from India. This is my 26th year in Australia. 6 years back, I moved to Canberra due to a job. I have a family of four who are pretty dear to me in every aspect.

I have been in meds for six years, going through multiple brands and various dosages.

Recently I lost my job (1 month back). I resigned from the place. The organization was toxic, and I was pushed from the organization. It impacted my mind. I do not get motivated to do anything. Every day it’s a struggle to get up from my bed. At the beginning of my unemployed life, learning took less effort. But I gradually realized that my mind was not on the page like mine. Most of the time, I think, ‘What is the point’. When I was working, I used to think the same way. My mind is clouded most of the time. I like to do things, but my mind does not give me company. It is hard even to describe what is going on inside of me. I feel my life is getting snatched away from me. I am scared that I will be old before I know it, and then I will realize that life means nothing to me. That is a hell of a scary thought. I have a small group of friends who are pretty good. I have been quite lucky in that instance. But asking for mental support all the time is not possible.

I love playing video games. Before, I used to play for hours, but now, after an hour and a half, I lose interest. I watch videos of talk shows about mental conditions but cannot apply them. I am still sane, thanks to my family, especially the kids. They keep me ‘awake’.

The experience from my last company still haunts me and makes me angry. I try to pass it, but it won’t go away. I feel so betrayed, and I think absolutely stupid in the end. The person I trusted so much turned against me.

I apologize that my content is all over the place. I am writing what is going through my mind.

I did counselling; it didn’t help a lot. I did for over a year, but nothing incredible came out.

Thanks for listening.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear cameraobscura,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums..

I am so very sorry you’re going through so much…you are doing your best and that’s all you can do…leaving a toxic workplace takes a lot of courage and you did that…caring for your mental health is a top priority in everything we do…

To answer your question “What’s the point”….You have 4 amazing and beautiful reasons that gives you a reason in life…Counselling doesn’t work for everyone…I’m sorry it didn’t work for you..I had a few different counsellors and found a couple didn’t help me any…then I found one that did and helped me to learn how to distract my unhealthy thoughts…mostly be distracting them onto something I like doing…video games, music, books..but it’s hard sometimes to put my mind together with what I want to do…Spending time with your children, family and friends would be a great distraction to get your mind and body to work together…Your a very precious and important person to them….draw some strength from them if you need to, to help you get out of bed each morning…I know that’s hard sometimes..but with practise it’s possible…

Its hard, I know to put out of your mind your other employee who hurt you a lot, but it’s important to try to not let them win and take away your precious time by thinking about them,.,They done you wrong, you are a much stronger person then they are.…you deserve to be treated with respect and appreciated in any job you take on…

Talk here anytime you feel up to it..we are here with our care to help support you through this..

Thinking of you with kindness and care Dear cameraobscura,

Grandy..