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Hello 2am again

Sad_Lisa
Community Member

Hi,

Im beyond exhausted, beyond blue, so run out of energy to deal with my own crap that even typing it all out or talking about seems too hard.
Not coping. No support. Very isolated. Nobody to reach out to. If I do try I feel like a whinger, hypochondriac, annoying person as people all try to fob me off tp someone else, or Lifeline as I’m “too much” for them to cope with.

I am  on disability with autoimmune conditions and CPTSD that just seems to be getting worse.
Look “fine” apparently! Learned to mask and people please to cope a long time ago and when I ran out of energy to keep doing that everyone just dropped away…

They like me better when I’m putting on a happy demeanour.

So now I isolate. Reclusive life.

Desperately need an understanding compassionate therapist skilled in CPTSD that can Telehealth someone with no fixed address.
I feel very very lost and alone.

5 Replies 5

Pandemica
Community Member

I am awake at 2am also. I also have CPTSD so know how that feels. You are not alone

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Dear Sad Lisa,

We can hear that you have been having a really difficult time and that you feel that you have not recieved the support you desire. We want you to know that this is a safe and welcoming community and we encourage you to engage with your peers and share your experiences. On the forums everyone is on their own journey of recovery and though sharing and support we hope to make that journey eaiser.

If you need more immediate contact, please use our support service either via phone or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support . This would be the best way for Beyond Blue to discuss any possible refferal, or assistance you may wish to discuss.

Once again we welcome you to the forums, we want to say how brave you are for sharing your story and we hope you experience the excelent peer support the forums offer.

Warm Regards
Sophie M

 

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello ad Lisa, a wwarm welcome to the site and having any 'autoimmune condition' can affect anybody in all different ways and nobody who posts a comment here is a 'whinger, hypochondriac or an annoying person, you do so for a reason whether it's specific or not, but feeling as though all you need is support.

At first we are able to mask our feelings so we think no one knows about how we are feeling, but after a while even that becomes too difficult to try and hold until eventually, we just give in and don't worry what people are thinking.

It's likely all you want to do is be by yourself as our 'friends' slowly disappear.

Sometimes in desperation we ring Lifeline, which do a fantastic job, however, each time you ring to speak to another person, whereas on this site your thread or comment is kept, so people can reply to it at any stage with ideas, suggestions and/or advice.

To speak to someone trained with mental help you will have to get a referral from your doctor and I'm sure most are trained in dealing with PTSD, then you can organise a Telehealth appointment, although they may need to visually see you, to now who they are talking to.

Don't forget your doctor can arrange a 'mental health plan' which entitles you to 10 Medicare paid sessions, even sessions by phone.

I hope you can get back to us so we can help you.

Geoff. x

Mark Z.
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Lisa,

Welcome to the forum.

Don't blame yourself, everyone has their own challenge. It is your mental illness, is't not you. And don't assume you're annoying to your family or close friends, maybe it's not what they think, maybe they care about you because they understand what you're suffering.

I hear that you're desperately looking for a therapist. If you feel comfortable, do you want to share what efforts you have made in searching a good therapist? Have you seen a GP for referral? or, have you made some online research and tried to contact someone? or, have your tried to ring Beyondblue hotline for some information?

Mark

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Sad Lisa, apologies for typing your name, my portable keyboard doesn't type certain words, unless I check.

Geoff.